Saturday Outing

This morning was the usual morning routine: Peter woke up crying, nursed him, then got his diaper changed, got dressed, and then he shook things up by walking into MOD's room and started flipping through books.

Cute little guy.

He is sweet and he won't be little for long, so I keep telling myself to not think I'm a victim to him and his nursing, I can set some boundaries or figure this out. So what did we do today - we still don't have a good schedule, but the kids did work a little bit today. And then my niece Aurora "Ro" came over (who is staying with my parent's for a few months) and we let Daniel and Natalie attack her, and then Corey took her and some kids out for some fun. First to the Quarry Trail for a little bike ride, then back home for a bit, then to play some Frisbee Golf in Murray I think. Again, no pictures of their outing. I tried to send them to myself, but they are all stupid HEIC images instead of JPEG or PNG, so I can't open any of them. We'll see if I try again. If I don't, I would like to wish my children and posterity good luck finding them among Corey's millions of picture files.

While Corey and the older kids were gone at their frisbee outing, I was here with the littles. Daniel was trying to climb in my room to reach a toy unicorn (my Moonbeam and Firefly My little Pony babies from my childhood.) He made a tower with a bin, yoga blocks and a pot....

And the pot fell and broke. He said sorry, it was an accident. I started to sing that familiar song as I threw the broken pot pieces in the garbage and started to vacuum...\

Ring the bells that still can ring 

Forget your perfect offering 

There is a crack in everything 

That's how the light gets in.

Anthem by Leonard Cohen

but I changed the last line to "and some things get totally destroyed"

I liked this pot, too bad for me. I guess I haven't planted any flowers for a while, so no biggie. For the past year I was using it to hold some of Peter's toys. One other thing from today - I was asking Joseph, my pest control selling kid, to help me identify this pest, cause it is out of control around here.

He thinks it's a "squash bug". We don't have any squash anywhere, so I don't know what the freak these guys are doing here but they are EVERYWHERE and I broke out the Raid for a DIY pest control job today. They are kinda like Box Elder bugs, but I don't see any of the red ones, just these little gray ones with kinda orange abdomens. They almost look like these kissing bugs, but they don't have the stick-like mouth. We might need to get pest control, cause these guys are driving me nuts. Joseph and Ethan, too bad you didn't knock on my door, I would be a quick and easy sell. But Dewey isn't in Utah, so Ethan recommended Orkin, I'll look into it. Or we'll see if someone knocks on my door. These bugs have been around for a few summers, and maybe we've waited too long and the damage is done and they have a colony somewhere. Or they might all be flying over here from the dead cottonwood tree at the end of the street in front of us. I don't know but ugh I am so sick of these guys.

Ethan is Home!

Ethan came home on Wednesday after spending seven weeks in California selling pest control. Welcome home Ethan! He looks the same, just with nice pest control tan lines on his legs and arms now. Ethan missed Peter the most. When Ethan hugged him, Peter acted like he was seeing a ghost or something. He didn't quite know how to act.  "Peter! It's me!!" followed by "What did you guys do to him?!?!"

Peter was acting like he was thinking "This guy looks familiar... but he also seems like a stranger... no, I've seen him on the phone, but now he's here... how did that happen? I guess it's safe to pretend to hug him..."

We'll give it a few days, the memories will come back.

And then just like that, Ethan will vanish again off to the world of home MTC. His mission start date is still July 14th and he got notice this week that he will not be trained in Mexico. We saw that coming though. We're not sure how he's going to do that - whether he'll do it here in the basement (I think it's not ideal, I'm sure there will be too many distractions and interruptions for him. Maybe in Corey's at home office it might work...) or he's throwing out feelers to see if he can go to his grandparents' house, or maybe I'll reach out to some neighbors who are empty nesters to see if they want to host him. We'll see. As for now, he's been gone every night since he got back, hanging out with his friends before they go their different ways for their missions. Ethan has been sending us great Marco Polo and What's app videos while he's been in California. He's not into much writing or texting... he likes to vlog his life. I don't think that makes them very easy to search when you're trying to find a memory, hence why I blog. Here is one last video that he sent us this morning.

He arrived home at 7:30-ish on Wednesday night. He came home, showered and changed his clothes,

Then he left to go bowling with "da boiz". Then it made us laugh that three hours later, he texted Corey: "I don't belong here. I'm having a seizure. I could be making bank right now. I'm actually feeling really sad. I miss Lancaster." Thursday morning he continued is sadness: "I miss Lancaster so much! I feel like I just got back from a tour, but I literally didn't have any fun (on the tour). I don't know why I'm missing Lancaster. I want to make bank and buy a Range Rover!"

Also, when he got back that first night from hanging out, he went to bed and didn't enjoy sleeping in the middle of the triple bunk bed. He let me know the next morning that he'd like to move into the basement. "It was literally so hot last night. And it took 20 min to get out of that bed. Joseph and Talmage are my best friends and I literally miss them. George and Truman are stupid. I'm having a mini panic attack. Why do I love it so much now that I'm home?!" It's been very entertaining to watch his withdrawl. (And Truman, George, I don't think he really thinks you guys are stupid, he was just seeking a verbal outlet.) Corey said that the thing that makes Ethan so fun (and also difficult sometimes) to live with is that he wears his emotions on his sleeve. Joseph has polo'd him some comforting words. Joseph said that he and Talmage miss Ethan too. It's a lot more quiet and boring without him, but they've also been a bit more productive in some ways, so they're trying to look at the bright side.

So it's been fun. Today is "date night" (which is one of the only things on our weekly schedule that let's us know what day it is...) Corey worked at his parents house today, so I picked him up, then we went to Beaumont Bistro again, and then we went on a hike up Millcreek Canyon. We didn't know where we were, and didn't have reception so we couldn't figure it out while we were on our walk/hike. But after we got home I figured out that we were up Porter Fork, I think I found the rock that we finally found to sit on so we could eat our picnic. There was like no place to sit in that little canyon. Next time we'll probably go up Little Cottonwood, but it was kinda fun to explore and not know where we were going. As we turned a corner, it looked like there was an open space and Corey thought perhaps we had found a meadow.

...but it was a dumpster. And it was really full, well pass the max. Someone should come haul it away and empty it. We ate by a little stream (Porter fork, right?)

I think I found the rock we sat on, but I couldn't totally tell cause there was no street view.

Back at home, I read a great article by Tad Callister in the Church news. Go read the whole article, it's not long but it's great, and timely with all the protests going on. So we'll end with my favorite part of his message, the "beautiful babies" part by F.W. Boreham, a Baptist minister:

“(In 1809) men were following, with bated breath, the march of Napoleon, and waiting with feverish impatience for latest news of the wars. And all the while in their own homes, babies were being born. But who could think about babies? Everybody was thinking about battles. … In one year, lying midway between Trafalgar and Waterloo, there stole into the world a host of heroes! During that one year, 1809, Mr. (William) Gladstone was born in Liverpool; Alfred Tennyson at the Somersby rectory; and … Abraham Lincoln drew his first breath at Old Kentucky. Music was enriched by the advent of Felix Mendelssohn in Hamburg. … But nobody thought of babies. Everybody was thinking of battles. Yet … which of the battles of 1809 mattered more than the babies of 1809? …

“We fancy that God can only manage His world by big battalions abroad, when all the while He is doing it by beautiful babies at home. When a wrong wants righting, or a work wants doing, or a truth wants preaching, or a continent wants opening, God sends a baby into the world to do it.”

I am so grateful to have one of the beautiful babies of 2019 in my home. Is there a wrong that needs righting, or a truth that needs preaching, that this beautiful boy will share? I wonder what work God has sent my/His little Peter to do

As for today, my heart has been full to just behold him playing with his duplo blocks. ...and taking selfies

Mel and I enjoyed being present and beholding him. Peter will be grown up and going on a mission like Ethan before we know it, cherish these small moments, they pass quickly.

Pineview

Corey went camping last night with a van full of kids. They went up to Pineview Reservoir with his parents and siblings. His brother Mark arranged it all and fed everyone too. Mark has made camping arrangements for every weekend this summer, and we'll see how many of them we can join. The kids had a great time.

I stayed home with Daniel and Peter, mostly cause of Peter. I will camp and go to Park City when all my babies and toddlers are older than 3. Until then, it's just hard, and I'm getting old and I don't have the fight in me anymore. I kinda thought I'd be able to get stuff done and to blog, but that didn't happen as these two didn't want to let me out of their sight. But as I shared yesterday, I did made two face masks for Corey and I to use on our Costco trips. Cute, matching homemade face masks.

I'm really grateful that Corey takes the kids on trips like these. I kinda wish I went, we'll see if I make it on a trip this year. I did do Moab in 2017, and that was only possible cause I only took Owen, and Corey stayed home with baby Daniel. And even without the youngest kid at home on that trip, I was still woken up at 3 with a kid who pooped their pants. It's just a bit exhausting, and I cope best if I have about a week of mental prep. So I have gone sometimes, but yeah, with such a big family there's usually other commitments and one parent usually has to stay for that, and it helps if they keep as many of the young children as possible. So that was my role this weekend: stay home with the little kids. The older group had fun though.

 

Wes helping with breakfast, flipping pancakes. 

Corey and MHSNO left to come home around 2:30. Lily stayed a bit longer and came home with Nancy. Corey just went to pick her up at 9pm. Abi and Wes stayed up another night and we'll see them tomorrow. It's been raining a lot though, I hope they are ok!

Corey does so much with these kids. And a lot of it does not get recorded here...

I don't know that date of that one, but it was this spring,

Corey has taken the kids up on hikes in the mountains a few times.

He's also taken a lot of them bike riding in the mountains a few times last month, since he got a bike. He takes Wesley skating, just went up to the U on May 30th, the first day of the riots

On their most recent bike ride outing, he met up with our friends Iveth and Diego and kids, we got a kick out of Daniel who rushed to Maria and held her hand. He's moving in on Owen's girl!

There's a whole 'nother blog that could be written about our family's life from Corey's point of view and with pictures that he takes. Sometimes I get on his phone and send myself a few of Corey's pictures.... like of Daniel working in Corey's office.

But I want to do better and telling what Corey does with the kids, cause that is where most of the fun happens. He's a pretty amazing father.

Home Fixing

Corey and I are doing lots of home maintenance. Well, more home making. No... home fixing? Something along those lines. He joked that now that he has a "real" job with benefits, now we can finally start our family. And when young couples decide to start their family, they usually begin with the nursery, right? We haven't decorated the nursery with any of our 12 babies, so we're doing it now! Only some of our babies are teens and young children. We went together to RC Willey two Saturday's ago and the beds we ordered arrived today. I just had the delivery guys put them in the garage, cause the rooms are a mess. Today when Corey got home, he got to work and put together a bed in Mel and Abi's room, cause their room was actually clean. This triple bed is for Owen (top) Mel (middle) and Daniel (bottom).

It's super close the ceiling, but it works since a toddler will be on top. But they aren't allowed to use the fan in there now. If they did, Owen could get hurt. After Mel leaves for her mission in September, then we'll move Peter in there on the bottom bunk and it will be the little boys room. As for now, and since Peter is still nursing, he will be stay in our bedroom with us me (...on the floor.)

So, through us actually doing house shopping together, I'm learning that Corey and I have our opinions, and they are not the same. I've kinda been doing the home furnishings on my own for all these years, and I usually go the classifieds route. I fully recognize that I am not good at home design. I have now learned that he hasn't liked the "mish mash" of furniture in different styles. He'd like it more streamlined. "Mish mash?!?!" Excuse me, all of these are white metal! That is not that mish mash. Ok, I guess it is, since we've got full sized mattresses, toddler mattresses, and twin mattresses. But we can make it work. we're losing kids, not getting more, we have plenty of sleeping arrangements and options for the kids we have. We don't "need" new beds. What about "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without" huh??? I should be grateful that Corey's eager and wanting to help now, but instead I've been fighting thoughts of: "Wait... what's wrong with that bed?" "So... you're basically saying that you don't like how I've put together the kid's rooms?" "Hey, I painted that bed! I've put little parts of my heart and soul into what we've got here!" Along with thoughts of I don't want new beds because: "Uuugh... I don't want to try to take apart that bed, the screws are stripped and we're gonna need a metal cutter or something..." "We're throwing money away by tossing these mattresses..." "I don't want to have to put things in storage" and just blah blah blah went all the voices in my head. After trying to understand my thoughts for the past week, I've decided it's okay, the white metal bunks have put in their time, Corey isn't doing this cause I'm bad at home decor. This isn't about me. I should be grateful that Corey is wanting new beds, and that he is participating and willing to spend his hard earned money on this. (I fully recognize that gratitude is not my strong suit) So.... today is the beginning of the end for the "mish mash" of furniture years for our family. But I still don't want to take this one apart. This is the bed that I painted. It used to be red and I DIY'd it white after we got back from Costa Rica/Chile. This has been Wesley's bed (top) and Ethan's on bottom for the past few years. The bottom left screws are the ones that are going to be a problem for you tomorrow, so good luck with that sweetie.

When I do the stuff on my own, I feel like a champ (like when I took the car in for repairs). I'm sure Corey feels like that too with these beds. He sees a way for things to be improved, he's going for it, I should support him. Yesterday I was super proud of myself when I fixed the leaky kitchen faucet. I discovered that it was leaking last Sunday (5/3) when I was in the basement picking up winter coats all over the floor, and then I got a flick of something wet on my hand... I thought maybe a glove was still wet from winter time or something? But that couldn't be it, so my radar was on as to where the water came from and then I got hit again and realized it was dripping through the floor. Ugh... I hate water problems! I put a bin in the basement to catch water there, then went upstairs and started to stress and vent to the ceiling as I cleared out under the kitchen sink to see where it was coming from. I had it controlled and didn't get to calling on Monday, but finally called a plumber that  my mom recommended on Tuesday (5/5) and they had an opening on Thursday (5/7). It was a great guy named Ben. He told me that we needed a new braided cord. The hard water in our house ages the cord. He said we need a new faucet for him to fix it today, OR we needed to find and order the hose part. ...but the Moen sinks each have different kinds of hoses and he didn't have any with him. So... they could order it and come back another day after it arrives, or they could do it now but only if they replaced it all by getting a whole new faucet. Well a new faucet was going to be $200+, cause that is how much it cost last time, plus $ for his labor. Hmmm, I called Corey for counsel, he said we should try to find the part. That would be new territory for me though. Ben, the nice plumber, told me it was actually a super easy fix, he thought I could do it, I just needed to get the right faucet hose. He was so nice - he didn't even charge me for the visit, he just wrote up an estimate of what it would cost for them to come back if I wasn't able to figure it out on my own with a hose - $200 to install a faucet if I bought it or $475 for them to buy the faucet and install it. I took a deep breath as I told him thank you and then prepared to try to figure this out. I went to Home Depot to see if I could find a buy a Moen faucet hose. They didn't have any, but I took some information from a Moen faucet that looked similar to the one we have.

Duralock Quick- connect... that is the similar to what we have.

I wrote down their "excellent customer service" phone number just in case I felt lost as I searched the web. But after 90 minutes of googling research, I felt confident enough to take a $30 risk and ordered a hose from supplyhouse.com. I narrowed it down to two hoses, either model 150259 (that's the one I decided to order cause it's 68 inches like our current hose) or 159560 which looks like it has the right connectors but is only 55 inches long. So today it came! And I was able to attach it right away! So I guessed right!! So what could have been a $475 fix I was able to do for $30! Thank you Ben at Stott Plumbing for being so nice and helpful!!! We will call them again. And for my own future reference (when the hard water ruins the hose again in 2.5 years...) try to order the Moen Pulldown Hose 150259 (replacement hose kit, part # 187108 from supplyhouse.com)

Another thing that is in the beginning stages of being fixed is our front porch. I also replied to a guy to get a quote to replace it. I have been trying to find help for this for 2 years. I even emailed our friend Bo who built this house years ago, and he and his wife were so nice and even came by to look at it, but he doesn't know anyone doing logs anymore and was at a loss as to who we could contact. His wife suggested maybe people in Heber or Park City, who do more rustic looking things. So I googled for that last week and on the 6th emailed a company some pictures of our porch and asked for a quote. He replied asking for measurements, so I replied to him with that info.

Seriously this porch is barely hanging on. It's hanging by a thread. This porch has spent the past 2+ years being held up by a clear fishing line (or what is that string made of, Corey? and has it been 2 or 3 years?) If you zoom in on the pic here you can see the line going from that center post to the house for support...

It needs help. Put it on the list! The rest of today was spent putting stuff outside that I want out of the house - we are getting ready for bulk clean up on Monday. I've been so sad that Deseret Industries is still closed cause I've been feeling increasingly desperate to get rid of stuff. I was very happy to find out yesterday that Savers just opened this week, so tomorrow I'm going to go drop off all the stuff I put out on the curb today

(and I hurt my toenail doing it when I slipped on a stack of stupid cardboard boxes. I'll spare you the photo of my toe, but I did get pleasure out of showing it to the kids. It hurt and looked bad, and all the kids were amazed that I wasn't crying. I'm tough.) I'd feel bad to just throw this all away, but I was feeling desperate enough that I had to put it out there. I need it GONE. I long for order. I hope we're making progress. Abi and I took down the tent last night, Corey spent the evening yesterday after work fixing the sprinklers. And yesterday I went by Skyline. I needed to turn in Ethan's chromebook, AP Environmental Science textbook, and to pick up his graduation cords. I sent him a package yesterday to California with his cap and gown, so that he can take a picture of himself for the virtual graduation. He should get it tomorrow.

General Conference & Prep

Today is General Conference! We got the house all spruced up yesterday and last night since I knew we likely wouldn't be doing a lot of chores today. And we stocked up on food last night at Costco so that we have plenty to feed the masses after they've dutifully listened to instruction from the prophet and apostles. Conference was great. I hope to slowly work through the talks again after they're posted online and then I might share my a few thoughts and favorite parts on my "spiritual" blog. One thing I will share is that when President Nelson said last October that April conference would be memorable and unforgettable, I thought that it was a bit of a bold statement and wasn't sure how they'd deliver on that. Yet here with are, with Covid-19 making everyone stay home and cause such alterations to how Conference is usually seen and broadcast. Corey and gotten Mel and Ethan tickets to watch one of the sessions at the Conference center, thinking it would help them get pumped up for their missions. But, instead, we're all home and the pandemic has brought Joseph home from his mission early! These circumstances have already made it memorable and unforgettable for me. I hope, more importantly, that the messages given will also go deep into my heart and help me change into a more Christ-like person.

So, it's been a good week overall with most of the kids making some effort at working hard with homework, music, reading, and chores. We have a big list of it in the kitchen window on a white board, lest any of us forget the tasks that should be completed. I take a picture of it every night so I can reference it on the weekend to see who has earned video games. Here's Thursdays....

And the end of Friday...

Ethan did great yesterday, and he also made some extra categories, like "wake up" and "shower" - perhaps trying to make up for blowing it all off the first 4 days. He earned an hour of video games for his work today. Hyrum and Wes cashed in with a several hours on the Xbox and wii. We let them play last night since today was going to be full of listening to conference. Joseph and Mel have been working, but they're also free from our management, but we put them up there anyway to make it "fair". Joseph doesn't care about video games or watching movies, but he's gearing up to try and force himself to sit through a movie before his self isolation ends. We have not been keeping 6 feet apart around here. Thankfully no one has been sick at all, no fevers or coughs or anything, so we are grateful for that. Joseph would like us to read scriptures earlier so he can wake up earlier and still keep his missionary schedule. We are trying, but it's hard to get everyone done and in bed by 10:30. So we're usually up until midnight. I was glad to see Joseph taking a nap yesterday.

He needs a nap and it's okay to take naps when you're not a missionary. So he's slowly accepting his new lot in life.

For date night last night we did a Costco run again. As we left, the kids watching "Onward". The little boys love Wesley. He usually does most of the babysitting since they want him the most (Thanks Wes!!!)

Corey and I went to the big business Costco downtown so we could get ricemilk. They are the only one that has it, although sometimes it's not in stock, but we crossed our fingers and they had it so we stocked up on that. I loaded up on clementines, hummus, got stuff for a good veggie plate that we had out during General Conference today, we got bread, rice and beans and lots of ricemilk. Corey got his kid bribes of nutella and juice. We got flashlights, batteries, and some books for us to read (Corey: "Russians among us" and I got one of those nicely bound collection books of the US Constitution and other Patriotic Documents that I wanted to have for reference.) We got stuff for a nice big lunch and dinner today. And we spent a freaking ton of money (over $1200). We entered with two carts and left with 2 carts and a flat bed.  After that I lost my appetite so we didn't grab takeout on the way home. (But I had gotten a think of sushi so we ate that for our date night meal.) Corey apologized (he thinks he has a Costco hoarding complex) but tried to console me by saying we should stock up while we still have money, since the economy is tanking and since he only has a consultant job and is expendable. So I tried to not feel too sick in the stomach about it, but I kinda couldn't help it. It's okay though, everything is gonna be okay. After we got home last night it was the usual, and I got this video of Corey doing the "fast flip" with Peter. Corey has done this with all the babies since Joseph.
It seems like it would be so easy for them to slip out of his grip, and I can't believe he has never dropped them, but I guess Corey's arms are long enough to do it. It's pretty funny and the kids all love it. Funny. So again, General Conference was great today, we're looking forward to more tomorrow, especially the Hosanna shout on Palm Sunday! How wonderful that will be to do that with members all over the world!!!

"I Hate Being Bored"

It's only been one week since the kids found out school was going to be suspended for two weeks. They say that they hate this and how there is "nothing to do" but atleast, I think, they are enjoying the "not having to get up" part of this new life they are stuck living.

Hyrum's foot poking out above... Here we are, once again, past 11 o'clock in the morning. The toddlers have been up for a while.

Daniel is bright eyed and bushy tailed. Wes and Ethan are still buried under the blankets. They rearranged their room last week and traded the side that the loft bed and bunk beds were on, and they rearranged desks around.

Everyone worked hard yesterday helping me in the basement, and we made great progress. Then they cleaned the main floor, and then I let them play video games. And they played for 2 hours (Hyrum for 4). Ethan didn't play, cause he didn't want to have to work, so he just went and took a nap instead. So then he wasn't tired at bedtime, so he made his brothers stay up with him and clean their room, so that is nice. They wanted to be able to play the Wii and Xbox today, but we said no. They then proceeded to sulk for an hour.

I maybe could have been persuaded if they did more housework, but Corey said no. And then they complained and sounded like babies as they joked "Why did you marry him!?!?" "Can we get a new dad?" Ethan protested "But tomorrow's my birthday! And we can't do it tomorrow cause it's Sunday!" Corey was bugged that they keep sneaking on and wasting time on the computer when they ask for it for homework. Then they finish start playing stupid snake games or watching the Office or YouTube things of Darth Sidious. "They have all this time to learn and do, and they just waste it, pouring it down the drain!" Today Corey had it cause Wes said he wasn't doing games, which is super stupid cause Dad can see everything they are doing via Qustodio, so he got caught lying, even it if was just for a few minutes. A complaint from Hyrum this week that I thought was so typical "Come on! We're sooo bored! I think it's better to do something that is a waste of time than to do NOTHING..."

Yada yada yada...
Tomorrow we are going to watch "Out of Liberty" and ponder a bit on Joseph Smith and his friends in Liberty Jail, to try and give these little boys some perspective on what real suffering is vs. what they are going though.

Toddlers, Babies, & Teens

This afternoon Daniel decided he wanted to go outside on an adventure. He got dressed on his own and had his little backpack ready, then he headed out. He wandered around the backyard looking pretty adorable. I called him over so I could take his picture.

A toddler close up. Do you know where you're off to, Daniel?

Cute kid. All dressed up with no where to really go, but that's ok cause he was content to just wander around the back yard for a bit. He had toy food and random things in his backpack.

Toddlers are pretty easy. Busy and noisy, but fun.  They're pretty independent and along with that comes plenty of messes... I like them.

Babies - I'm torn right now with Peter, cause part of me is eager and ready for him to grow and be more independent/need me a little less, but I'm also going to be so sad if he's our last! A few pics of me snuggling with him on New Year's Eve...

Such a snuggle boy. I love it, so sweet

So then there's that side of me that just wants him to stay little and to savor every baby moment.

But I've never nursed any of my babies this long. I'm blaming my inability to lose weight on the interrupted sleep and the physical stress placed on my body by the demands of breastfeeding. I've read and heard it's good for them to nurse as long as possible, and he seems happy to continue with this thing we have going, so maybe I'll just keep doing it? But I'm super frustrated with my weight right now. I try not to be, but I am. I could probably also blame it on violin, cause for the last several months instead of doing sprints, HIIT, or lifting heavy weights to impress myself, I'm am impressing myself when I practice or learn something new on the violin. Violin has ruined my health! I know I should be able to do both, but there are only so many discretionary hours in the day. Sigh. I'll just take one day at a time, control the controllables, work hard, pray harder, and keep on keeping on.

Teens - Sometimes Corey and I feel like we're falling short and so in over our heads. There are too many kids and too much to keep track of for us to keep on top of it. Or if it's just a matter of us learning how to keep track of it all, then the problem is that we haven't learned it yet. The high school kids got their grades back recently. Ethan got straight As, but Hyrum and Wes' grades were not good. Like several Ds and Cs between them. Thankfully there were fews As and Bs too. Luckily no F's this time but we've had one of those last year, still need to get that fixed. So we're trying to step it up there with checking their current grades every day and following up on them and breathing down their necks, cause just trusting them to stay on top of it hasn't worked. We went over Wesley's grades with him and there's still time for him to turn this around and have a good cumulative GPA by the time he graduates, but he's got some ground to make up. He's got to start now and he's got to do it. So yeah, Corey printed up and taped their poor grades on the wall in our closet where we will always see it, so that it can always remind us every day to have them show us their grades and take care of missing assignments and make up any tests asap.

Things are going well with the kids in elementary school. And Abi in jr. high is doing ok... we think there are problems there with her grades, but we haven't had that as our priority to examine that yet since its' just 6th grade. But hopefully we can teach her how to work before it starts counting toward her academic record. We've got lots to work on here!

My Investment

Christmas break is over and it's back to normal for everyone. All the kiddos are back in school this week, except Ethan. He's in New Orleans for the JEN Conference (Jazz Education Network). My day started off by getting up at 3:40 to take him to the airport. I went to bed last night at 11 but couldn't sleep, so I decided to transcribe my favorite chapter of Insights so I could share it with Joseph. Insights is a book I just finished about President Nelson. When I was done with that around 1, Lily knocked on my door saying she couldn't sleep. I told her to do her best. I went to bed and was about asleep when she knocked again at 1:30 kinda panicked and saying she felt like she was being watched. So I gave her some church music to listen to, then I struggled falling asleep again. Peter was up a lot last night too - he has a bit of a fever.

So, my day and new year have started off pretty "mom's normal", although I am grateful that there was no throwing up this year on new year's eve (Daniel threw up on me last year, Owen on New Years Eve 2016.) Peter feels lousy and just wants to be held, so that's what we've been doing all morning.

The little girls and I have violin today, but other than that I'm just going to try to get back in routine. I hope we all go to bed early tonight.

I'm am striving against feelings of being stuck and unproductive. I sat on the couch with Peter, I read this post about being a mom that was shared on facebook. I liked it. But I might change it from being condemning to the world for how it might not choose motherhood, to being happy for the choice I've made and that I've been able to have it as an option. Still, I liked it. My favorite part:

The souls that move in bodies in and around my home? They are a legacy and an investment that I do not ever regret giving it all for. When I’m weary and feeling empty, when my life goals feel lifetimes away and my body isn’t the one I hoped I’d have, I can promise you that I wouldn’t give them up for a thousand trips around the world, a perfect waistline, or a name linked to fame.

Being a mom is a blessing that I am grateful to have been given. I don't regret holding my babies when they are sick. I know I am blessed to have this opportunity to be a wife, to be a mom, to have my little ones be my entire focus every single day. Not everyone gets to live this simple and beautiful life and I never ever want to take it for granted. I'm grateful to be a woman and to have this divine calling, and to be able to work during my life serving these twelve kids. Having so many kids is humbling. I'm really glad that I've been able to capture so much of it here on the blog - like 12 years worth! It's a challenge to make the time, but 'll try to keep at it. I'm doing it for my kids, so they can know the younger me after I'm old and so that I can already have something prepared when I can't remember "how I did it" - in case they ever ask. If they do, I am sure I'll just shake my head like "....um, I have no idea..." So yay for having these little posts where some of it is written down for when they are in the role of parents. Ok, that's all Peter is giving me time to write. Have a great Monday!

Later tonight: Corey holding Peter after I got home from violin.

"He feels really warm."

I took his temperature, and yeah, he was. I took his temperature, it was 103, pretty high fever little guy! I held and attended to Peter all evening. I love this little boy. Maybe we'll take care of the house and all the mundane tomorrow.