Sweet Little Bird

Today is trash day. I went out the front door to take some garbage out to our bins that were in the street, and as I walked back inside. I noticed a little baby bird on our driveway.

You cute little thing! What are you doing here? He didn't look injured, he just looked like a baby bird who doesn't have long enough feathers to fly yet. I was really glad that Corey hadn't driven over him when he left for work! I first went to hide him in the bushes right in front of our house, but then I thought about where he come from... hmm, it was really windy last night and this morning, he must have been blown from the trees between us and our neighbor, so then I took him over there. ISN'T HE SO CUTE!?

I think he looks a lot like the little red finch babies from 4 years ago. Look at the third picture here - same kind of bird, right? The neighbors behind us and right next to us, where I set this one, both have cats. I think right next door he might be an indoor cat cause I don't see them prowling around in the trees here, so I hope he'll be safe, unlike one of our babies from 2017. I took this cute little guy inside for a second and called to the kids to come see my little friend. No one answered. I hollered and called out names one by one, but nothing. I didn't want to take him inside cause I didn't want the mom to worry or lose track of him, if she was watching. But I want to show the kids. Most of them were still in bed, but Natalie and Owen were playing legos in the basement. I took him upstairs to quickly tell Lily and Sophi. "You guys! Get up and come see this little bird I found!" I showed them the bird in my hands. They came outside with me and wanted to hold him. Sophi holding him here:

Lily holding him. He peed on Lily. It's ok Lil, that just means he loves you the most! 

We put him in the talk grass close to the trees. Last time we had a little lost finch, it's mother was watching and knew his whereabouts, she just was waiting for us to get out of the way. So we all went inside trusting that she'd come take care of him. 

Natalie had a ballet rehearsal today and pictures, so we got her ready with makeup and her hair up in a bun (no easy task with her short hair).We checked on the bird again before she left. Lily and Sophi were already outside watching him and let me know the bird was still there. They picked him up. He peed on Lily again. We petted him and said how cute he was. Daniel wanted a turn.

Daniel, you are being so careful! Good job!

The bird was very calm and super sweet when we passed him around.

I was holding Peter as he slowly reached out his adorable little hand to softly pet the bird's feathers...

We put the bird back and then I took Natalie to her rehearsal. She had to be there at noon. I went to pick her up at 1. We stopped by Walgreens to get some photos for Sophi that she needed for a Father's Day gift that she was making at Activity Days at 2. Natalie asked if we could stop somewhere to buy a treat. This is her I'm-trying-not-to-beg-but-I'm-begging-inside face. She's a pretty girl.

For Natalie, driving in the car seems to mean that Wendy's and a frosty is just a moment away. I told her no treats this time. But then I did let her pick out something at Walgreens. When we arrived back home, we check on the bird and he was gone. I think, hope, and will believe and tell myself that his mom found him and he kinda jumped and flapped his way back under the trees to safety in the shade. I heard lots of birds in there, so yeah, that's what I'm going to tell myself. I'm not going to go crawling around under there looking for him, and I told the kids not to either, cause he's so camouflaged that we'd risk stepping on him. So, that was super fun though to hold the cute little bird. I hope he has a happy life in the bushes and that we see him fluttering through the tree branches someday. And here's a lovely rose from today - I love these roses.

Here's a few more pics of the other roses from today. 

What else from today - Owen and a neighbor made a mess in the backyard, but I'll talk about that in another post. I did laundry today for 90 minutes as I listened to my older sister's divorce court proceedings. I think most of my siblings and my parents watched as we were all texting afterwards. We're all glad that she has good legal counsel and we're praying for her, her ex, and her kids to all be able to move forward with hope and to find happiness. Abi is still having fun at EFY and eating a lot of food, as most of the pictures she send are of her and her friends eating. 

and that's about it. Oh, wait, one more thing, I cancelled my membership in the program with the nutrition coach that I joined (end of this post). I had already locked my card like a week ago thinking that I didn't want to keep paying for this. I joined this without telling Corey, same as when I joined the Sculpted Vegan, and that one was a bigger mistake cause they sent me to collections, but this one it didn't say anything like that, just that if payment wasn't made within two weeks I'd be kicked out, which is what I wanted, but I just thought I'd save us both a little bit of time by being upfront about it. So I sent her an email but never got a reply, and I just thought it would be best manners to be upfront, rather than have them send me a message in two weeks saying "hey, your payment didn't go through" and I'd be like "Yeah, I don't want to be part of your program anymore. That's also why, you might have noticed, why I haven't been doing the work or submitting things..." so I sent her a message and said I'm walking away from here, and she wanted us to process it, and she reminded me that one of the reasons why I joined was to help me stop dabbling in different diets and programs, but in my defense, the idea of being a dabbler was one that she dished out. "There are three kind of people: stressers, dabblers, and achievers. Which one do you think you are?" Well obviously the one you want to be is an achiever, but I wouldn't be here if that is who I was, so I'm one of the two lousy choices, so I said I was a dabbler. But I'd never called myself a dabbler before, so this was her introducing that to me, and I don't agree that you have to keep doing something if after you try it a bit, if you can tell it's not what you're looking for. And I tried doing things she suggested for three weeks but yeah, this isn't want I'm after. She asked why I didn't reach out for help or why I didn't modify it and make it my own, and so we had a bit of back and forth like that, so I feel a little bad, but it's ok. And I told Corey that I do want to join Laura Dixon's program, which has been changed so now it's not crazy expensive ($6000) price tag to have her as a personal coach, but "only" $1000 to join her program and have access to it for life, and it's a money back guarantee: "you either lose the weight or you get your money back." So Corey wants to learn more about that before he signs off on my joining, but I'm giving myself a month, and I'm going to re-listen to her podcast and try and coach myself before I do any emotional eating, but if my weight doesn't budge this next month, I'm signing up. 

Birthday Love

Today is my happy birthday. 🎂 The first thing I did for my birthday was have Wes babysit while I went to lift weights for an hour at the Cottonwood Heights Rec Center. There were beautiful flowers in bloom by the north entrance to the Rec Center. Those were one of the thousand of gifts that God gave me (along with breath, another day of life, etc)

Lovely! I'll limit my pics here to two, but to see one more of this and many other glorious flowers, go to my nature blog.

I enjoy this annual opportunity to impose upon my kids as I play the "birthday card". So it was nice to have a guilt free hour to myself to exercise (except that he wasn't getting homework done, so it was almost guilt free) and then I took Corey up on us going out to lunch too (Wes was my sitter for that one, too, thanks Wes!). We went to Blue Lemon and I got the Mediterranean salad and the something with pecan salad, they were both good. On my way back after lunch, this mama duck and her babies were crossing a busy 5 lane road close to Corey's work. I'm glad that they were safe! Although I did still feel sad remembering the mama duck and ducklings crossing the freeway years ago. A car in front of me slowed down and had their lights on and then we all stopped behind them as we waited for the ducks to cross. Then I turned around to go get a picture of them. So cute.

She didn't like it when I came up to the wall that she was by, so then she left across the grass to get away and keep her babies safe from me. Cute little ducklings. 

Something super fun that I'll count as a birthday present, is that Joseph and Hyrum were able to see both Ethan and Melodie today on their drive across the country. It was a several hour detour for them, but they went to Litchfield, Illinois and had a late breakfast with Ethan...

My little boys all grown up!

Then up to Michigan to see Melodie!

So fun!!! That was a treat for me to observe from a distance - my kids all growing up and being friends and enjoying each other's company (which civility obviously wasn't always the case). Ethan continued his missionary p-day, Joseph and Hyrum continued their drive, and we talked over video messenger.  

(Peter is cute). My mom brought by a cake and some cookies and we sang happy birthday to me - 

Making a wish - 

Kids enjoying cake - 

I didn't get any ice cream, cause I don't want ice cream in the house. 

They did clean the house a little bit today. It was not as much as I got last year, when I had everyone here at my mercy in covid quarantine lockdown, but that's ok.

My siblings had a nice birthday treat for me that I think we are going to turn into a tradition... (Can you tell which one is me?)

We are so cute: Camilla, Tiff, & Neil. On Marco Polo they all shared some of their favorite Tiff memories and it was really fun. Then I looked through old scrapbooks and shared some stuff with them too. Neil, Jersh with the curly hair, and baby Patrice.

Melodie sent me a letter for my birthday, with lovely floral artwork on the outside, and a nice letter, a fall leaf, and a cute little painting inside of Corey and I on our wedding day. I put the painting on my window shelf of love and marriage memorabilia - 

And her Indiana leaf if the big one there in front of Jesus. 

Mel and I both love all things red and in nature! So it was a nice day and a good birthday. 

Smell the Flowers

Hello. I don't know why I take pictures of Peter sleeping all the time. It maybe should be that "if you've seen one cute sleeping baby, you've seen them all" so I am silly to take photos each time I come into my room and see him still sleeping and think "AWWW!!! He's so cute!" But then again, maybe a sleeping baby is like a rose in bloom. Sure, you've seen it before and will see it again, but it's still beautiful and amazing, so take time to pause and smell the roses. And take time to pause and sigh at the cute sleeping baby. Peter, I love you. He is just pure sweetness. Except for when he's not (aka yesterday) but its' ok to have a bad day now and then, especially cute babies.

I didn't smell roses today, since there aren't any yet, but I did pause to enjoy these spring beauties as I took Owen to the bus. Pretty spring flowers. 

Things (my attitude) is better today. Joseph and Hyrum left the Fiesta in Beaver. The axil broke, and they won't be able to fix it until Wednesday. There was another Moxie friend that was able to pick them up, so they're in St. George now and will be selling tomorrow, and we'll figure out how to get the fiesta home later I guess. Come what may and love it.

Babies Growing Up

I don't know why I always take pictures of Peter when he's asleep. But I did it again today. Here is my adorable little Peter this morning. 

Oh I love this little boy so much. 

"If they could just stay little..." It is a fleeting time. I gave Peter another birthday present today. His birthday has lasted a few days, and there are still a few things that I got on ebay that should be arriving. Mostly Cars Duplo things. Tonight he got a McQueen and Mater set. 

We have a duplo Mater somewhere, but I can't find his stinkin' eyes. I don't know where all these toy pieces disappear to, and I know I didn't sweep it up or throw it away, so it's gotta be around here somewhere... So I hesitate for a while to buy a replacement, but I caved and did get him this, cause it's his birthday, and cuase he loves the duplos and he loves Cars. He's easy to please. I probably buy these toys more for myself than I do for them - I like seeing them play with and love their toys. Like Owen with his Louie.

Facebook memories reminded me today of this photo from 4 years ago - Mel and Daniel baby big cheeks - I miss them both! Mel's grown and gone, and our little Daniel is no longer such a chubby little caterpillar... Oh he was so cute (and funny looking!) 

Seriously, look at that chinneck! So stinkin' adorable. At the end of that post, I also  mentioned how we had a clean house and "we'll see how long it lasts" and that has been my life. A clean house was always greeted with a "I can't believe it" gasp and also my brain trying to protect me to not get my hopes up for it actually lasting any length of time. And it never did. But I am blaming it all on my food brain. I've been cleaning up more and more everyday and the house is so amazingly clean and orderly right now, but I'm not thinking "I can't believe it" but now I'm thinking "Well of course it is clean! Cause I'm amazing and I'm working hard, and I like doing hard things!" Laura's podcast #33 "You Actually Like Doing Hard Things" was one of the many great listens this week. So yeah, things are still going so great. Today I even got in a good hour of scriptures study. I took up Sister Nelson's challenge and started with prayer and a question, and I found guidance. I was wondering what we could do to help Wes. Despite several D grades last year, and two F grades last term, he's on track to get 3 F's this term and Corey and I are both at a loss. Like I told him we'd buy him air pod pros if he got a 4.0, and I believe it is possible, but he doesn't. He just hasn't figured out how to play the game. Maybe we need to start with something more believeable for his brain. Like instead of "I am a straight A student" we should start with "I can get As." Right now though he is failing. Literally failing. But guess who else failed? Joseph Smith!! I read Doctrine and Covenants 3 this morning, and listened to awesome podcasts about it too - Talking Scriptures Episode 87, (awesome show notes and that picture at the top when Joseph hit bottom after learning that the manuscript had been lost) - like Wesley failing several of his classes is too bad, kinda stupid, but he will learn something from this just like Joseph Smith did. Wes will have a second chance. We've discussed credit recovery or him doing 10th grade over again. So we'll see. There is a way through. It's going to be hard, but it will be ok. Whatever we are facing, it is going to be ok.

A few pictures from yesterday - Lily has been hard at work making miniature lego creations for the little Disney characters that they got in their Lego Storybook sets. 

I have 4 of those new sets tucked away in my closet for when I'm a grandma. I think they are just so cute and I like how they close up to be put away on a shelf as a little "book"... so I think they're a perfect toy for grandkids to play with at Grandma's house someday in the future. Maybe I'll have Lily set up a whole little lego world for her future nieces and nephews. She'll probably still be around. Hopefully she won't outgrow her lego creativity.

Hyrum is almost all grown up and independent and outta here. Last night he left for Bear Lake with Joseph and other pest control selling boys for a team building Moxie retreat and ski weekend. 

He wears Corey's size 11 boots. My little boys are turning into grown men!

I know I don't really want them to stay little. I want them to grow up and learn and progress and become amazing and overcome their challenges and fears, but I still miss my babies and toddlers. I'm glad I still have a few underfoot, like these cuties. 

Natalie was leading out in a game of pirates tonight. Babyhood and childhood really are magical. I hope that grandparenthood really is as amazing as motherhood, cause I love being a mother and I don't want to be jealous that I'm not the mom anymore when I'm the grandma. I guess I've liked being needed, and I like knowing that I am the one that is needed, like when the baby has to nurse. Sure, it's exhausting, and right now I guess I'm ok that it's over, but it's bittersweet. I'm grateful for my belief that I will continue to be a wife and mother for all eternity. 💓

Not Viable

Yesterday I had a doctor appointment with my OBGYN, Dr. Smith, who has delivered 10 of our children. I went in because we were expecting, but it most likely looks like we're not anymore. My younger sister Patrice told us how my mom miscarried at 20 weeks, a baby that would have been between Patrice and Beka, and that my mom was glad to have baby Patrice to hold for comfort. I've been feeling that way, and loved holding Peter last night. He actually woke up and 4:00 am and wanted cereal and so we went down and I gave him cereal and made oatmeal for the other kids. We went back to bed around 6 am. I am glad I have a baby to hold. Yeah, he's almost 2, but he's still my baby, and babies are magic.

So this was to be my first dr. appointment. I usually don't go in this early, but I started feeling sick at 6 weeks, and morning sickness usually doesn't hit me until week 7 1/2. That's been pretty consistent with each pregnancy. Also, I didn't think I should be feeling ill because I already started taking my trace minerals (morning sickness miracle!), so I thought I had a step up on it. I honestly thought and was praying that it would be twins (cause I'm crazy and think we are supposed to have 2 more children #lucky14, end of this post) but there weren't twins. There was a sack, but there wasn't a baby or a heartbeat. There was a little growth of something small in the ultrasound, but it looked too small, so Dr. Smith had me go over for another ultrasound in a different office and then a vaginal ultrasound and both of those verified it was only 5 or 6 week size when it should have been 8 weeks, and the vag ultrasound showed no blood flow, so yeah, looks like this little one has miscarried. So that is sad and I let myself cry a few times to my sisters, and I'm sure I'll cry again and more later, but today I'm doing ok and I sought some more help and support from family and friends. I texted a few neighborhood friends, called Corey's mom and talked to sister who has had a d&c. I also posted on facebook as I try to decide whether to miscarry naturally or go in for a D&C. Here are some helpful thoughts from my friends via facebook that I'll ponder as we decide how to go forward:

________________________________

"So personal question - we were expecting, 8 weeks along yesterday, but at my first appointment the baby was only 6 week size and there was no heartbeat, they did 3 ultrasounds and it looks like it's miscarried. I'm going in for another blood draw tomorrow to verify the miscarriage, but I was hoping if any of you could share with me your experience, if you've had one, of waiting to miscarry naturally or going in for a d&c surgery as I'm trying to decide what to do. Private message me if you prefer that. Thank you thank you

Comments: 

SheaLynn: I am so sorry for your loss. I lost one at that time and did it all naturally. It was unpleasant but I’ve heard that the D&C is often worse. I’m glad I just did it myself

Débora - Hi. I'm really sorry for your loss.. It happend to me too.. In my case, I had to go to d&c.. the doctor told me at the time that I could not wait.. the truth is that it was a very traumatic experience.. If the doctor says that you can wait, I believe that is best option

Gabriela - I’m so sorry for your lost. There’re no words that will make the pain go away, only time will help heal the wound. I also had a miscarriage with my second baby. Baby stopped developing with 6w, I found out when I was 9w and only started bleeding when I… See More

 · Reply · Thank you Gabriela! ❤ I've had one other miscarriage and yours sounds like my first experience in that I didn't know it had miscarried until I started bleeding at 10 weeks. Thank you for sharing

Cyndi - I'm so sorry Tiffany. Even when they are tiny, the hope, love, and joy of a new baby are already there. I lost a baby at 5 weeks and it seemed like a heavy period, definitely a lot more cramping and pain. It was more emotionally taxing since it was after my stillborn son. My next loss was at 13 weeks. We had seen the baby a couple of times and the heartbeat was strong and growth was on track. Then I started spotting. The baby's heart had stopped in just the last day or so. It was the day before my birthday and my doctor didn't want me to have a D & C on my birthday (a Friday) so he scheduled it for the next Monday. I ended up cramping and having contractions and going into labor myself on Sunday. I delivered my baby at home. It took me a few days to finally get through the whole process. It was very traumatic but one thing that was a blessing was seeing how perfect my little boy was...a tiny perfectly formed, already feet loved miracle. I don't know if the D & C would have been less traumatic, but I was grateful for how it happened. My heart and prayers will be with you. Please feel free to message me with any questions. ❤️

Monique - I’m sorry for your loss 😞 it’s a hard experience. It could take up to another week to naturally miscarry. My miscarriage was at 11 weeks and the baby was about 8 weeks size. I’m glad that it happened naturally rather than having a procedure done, and that’s what I would prefer, however my bleeding was very heavy when it happened, and I had to go to the ER to get it under control, which was unpleasant, sitting in the ER bleeding heavily onto a chair while I waited to be admitted. If you go in for a D and C, then you’ll already be admitted and bleeding can be controlled. However I didn’t know any herbs to control bleeding at the time and wish I had. Later a friend told me if I had taken cayenne and shepherds purse at home when it happened I wouldn’t have bled heavily. It depends on how comfortable you are with herb treatment. It wasn’t terribly painful, just a very emotional experience and concerning with the bleeding. What is the doctor recommending?

 · Reply - He said it's totally up to us, so yeah I'm trying to feel out what is best. I've had one miscarriage before, I didn't know until I started to bleed and we were living abroad so I never went to a doctor but thankfully everything was ok, it was just like a heavy period with clots. I'll check out taking herbs, thank you!

 · Monique okay - if he thinks it safe to wait for it to happen naturally that would probably be the best choice, especially if you’ve gone through it before...

Sonia - Passei 2 vezes por aborto espontâneo, Acredito ser natural e não fazer a cirurgia, Sinto muito... 💕

Jansi - Lo siento mucho😭. A mi me pasó en la semana 12... me recomendaron esperar para que fuera natural... pasaron como 2 semanas fue natural pero igual tuvieron que hacer una intervención. Ánimo y un fuerte abrazo.💞

Lisa - I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love and prayers. ❤

Kiera - Msged you. So sorry for your loss.

Malerie - I’m really sorry. This is such a difficult thing to go through. My situation was very similar to yours. No increase in size and no heartbeat at my next appointment at around 9 weeks. I debated about what to do. Several close friends said they went ahead naturally and it was really difficult. Some said they ended up having to go in for surgery anyway because their body hadn’t completely taken care of everything. My body didn’t ever take care of it naturally and I went ahead with the d&c. Everything went smoothly and for me it felt easier to plan, make an appt, etc then waiting and experiencing it on my own. It’s very personal though and it’s a really difficult thing for your mind and body to endure. I’m so sorry. Thinking of you. 😘

 · Reply - Thanks Malerie ❤ How long after the 9 week appointment did you go in? Also, any chance you remember the cost from your dr and the hospital? The earliest it could be for us is next Tuesday, and with a new year comes a new deductible so we'll be paying the bills, which is one reason I'm leaning toward waiting for maybe 2 weeks

Malerie - Tiffanie, mine was in January, too. 😞 it was a week and a half after my appt that I went in for surgery. I remember my doc saying that it was fine to wait a bit. It was a long week.

I looked back and my whole hospital bill was about $3900 without insurance. That included surgery, labs, diagnostic testing, etc....

Therese - Oh Tiffanie I'm so very sorry 

Diana - I'm sorry. Miscarriages are so difficult. I passed mine at home naturally and it was horrific. I ended up at the ER because I was bleeding so heavy with huge clots. They gave me morphine and got some of the tissue out. I followed up with my ob/gyn the next day. I still had tissue inside and he was able to get it out in the office. I would have a d&c if I had to make the choice again.

Alisa - I am so sorry. Miscarriages are so painful. It is a loss that needs to be acknowledged and felt. I'm glad you are doing that. I definitely recommend the procedure. Living, knowing that your child has died inside of you, and is still there, is very hard. It's sad. Heartbreaking. A miscarriage is heartbreaking enough without prolonging the pain.

Laura - I'm so sorry for your lost. I went to that 2 times. One in an earlier stage and another with a full term pregnancy (week before due date). I chose natural way for both of them. Even though it is a hard emotional experience, that gave me more time to understand and mourn it. But that is a personal choice. Not everybody needs the same outcome. Love you.

 · Reply ·Thank you Laura ❤ I especially liked your last comment that we don't all need the same outcome. I appreciate all these thoughts helping me to ponder what will be best for us. Thank you! I don't remember knowing that you miscarried so late, but man, a week before the due date... I can hardly imagine, that would have been so hard! 😭

 · Laura it was. People told me to just get ride of the trauma as soon as possible. But I knew I had to go all way. Not knowing when that would happen. Knowing that I had a dead child inside me. I connected with my body, I embraced the bitterness, and accepted what I was going through. In that very moment I released the child. I was so prepared! That was my way to process it. That moment is unique, like every deliver is. Whatever your instinct, your soul tells you to do, do it. Follow your prompts. Use this experience to connect with yourself and the wisdom there is in you.

 ·  THANK YOU. That is powerful advice. I'll follow that and seek lots of quiet pondering this week. (well... as much as I can with all the kids at home!)

Elizabeth (friend from US that we met in Chile) - I had 5 miscarriages and am sorry you are having this sad experience. 3 of mine warranted a d and c and I would honestly recommend that over letting nature take its course. It’s a relatively minor procedure and better to be in a controlled environment. My last one at home was pretty scary and I ended up in an ambulance.

 · Reply - Thank you Elizabeth ❤ I was thinking of you yesterday, remembering you had been through this many times. Thank you for commenting.

Heidi - Tiffany, I am sorry to hear of this. I experienced this very thing in between my daughter and my son. I went in for a 10 week appointment and there was no heart beat. I actually began miscarrying at the doctrs office. I was sent home to finish naturally, but I began hemorrhaging and passing large blood clots. I ended up having to have a d&c. I welcomed the medical intervention as I had lost a lot of blood and the experience at home was somewhat traumatic. I am so sorry for you. It is so hard on a mothers heart. I felt a great loss with that baby. I had already begun bonding and dreaming of holding that baby in my arms. Hugs to you and Corey 🙏 ❤ 

Stephanie - I’m sorry

Holly - I'm sorry! I've had 2 miscarriages. One at 6 weeks and one at 10. The one at 6 weeks happened in the shower then was like a heavy period. The one at 10 weeks was a little more traumatic for me. I was at church and ran to the bathroom. The blood was everywhere. The emotions and cramps lasted a a lot longer.

Kaylene - I had a very similar experience I’ll DM you. I chose d&c and recovery was not bad.

Rachel - I’m so sorry!!

Rebecca - I am so sorry Tiffanie! Thinking about you and your family today ❤️❤️ You are a strong mama!!

Katie - So sorry! It’s hard at even just a few weeks along. Mine naturally delivered at about the same time along in the pregnancy which went smoothly at home so I can’t speak to a d&c.

______________________________

I'm sure there will be more advice in the coming days, but that was great for now. After reading all of those and other private messages sent to me, and after talking with family and friends, I am just feeling really grateful and supported right now. It is hard, and it's ok to cry and mourn and I will. I will let the tears come if and when they need to. I'm kicking myself that I didn't seem to record my miscarriage in Costa Rica, so now as I'm trying to remember what happened that time, I've only got 10 year old memory to go off of, and that's not very reliable. I can't find if I put it in a journal anywhere. But I remember it was in October 2010, I was 10 weeks. I think that is what this one will probably be. I'm really grateful that it miscarried so early on, I think it would be harder the more time put in to the pregnancy. Did you read Laura's experience above?!? - miscarried at 39 weeks... I seriously would bawl my eyes out for a month. We all face our trials in different ways, but we can face them. There are many people who are here to help us, and God is willing to help and comfort us too.

Skiing at Snowbird

Corey took kids skiing today - I stayed home with Peter and JHWALSNOD all went. 

Here's one video - I'll see if I can get more photos and videos from Corey and Joseph, who were the main historians of this event.

They were at Snowbird for the whole ski day, and Corey said it was magical. I would have gone, but Snowbird doesn't allow babies in back packs, so Peter wouldn't have been able to be in the carrier. We'll try another day at Alta for you, Peter. So he and I stayed home. He had donuts for lunch. And I made a big pot of chili for my skiers to eat after they returned home. 

One fun thing - Joseph drove the van, and in the process discovered that our van might indeed have 4 wheel drive! He discovered a button on the gear selector stick. So that's good to know, we'll give it a try, although we won't get to for New Years this year cause there isn't a new years Party this year cause of covid. So sad. We're finally prepared with Corey's 4 wheel drive and now possibly a van with 4wd, but no need to use them for the cabin. Here are a few photos that Joseph took - Corey and D

Abi made a note to self: wear waterproof mascara next time.

Sophi, Wes, and Joseph, taking the aerial tram to the top of Hidden Peak - 

Quite a view!

They told me that there was this one hill and somehow Sophi fell but kept sliding down backwards, like she was lying down backwards but her skis were down and she just kept going down - Joseph got this photo of her when she finally stopped - Wes on his way to assess the damage.

She had some snow down her hood but other than that, she was in good spirits and excited to tell everyone of her backwards downhill adventure.

When they walked in from skiing, the first thing I noticed was Abi's eyes. Her mascara ran, funny. Joseph teased her that she looked like the matchmaker from Mulan the whole time. "You will never bring your family honor!!!"

They all unloaded, Corey put away all the skiing gear, he's been very organized. I washed everyone's long underwear. They ate potatoes and chili. Most Christmas Eve's are my chance to put the kid's "IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!" energy to good use and have them clean the house. I was going to try that today, but they had already put in so much work skiing, so we just lazed. We watched A Christmas Story...

..and then we watched Elf...and it was fun. 

We had a zoom with Corey's family for the Wride Christmas Eve gathering, which wasn't the same for the kids as the usual party, but what ya gonna do. It's Rona's fault. It was still good. The kids played musical numbers, Daniel sang for us which was super funny (Corey got a video, I'll try to upload it later), we played Christmas Bingo, and the kids gathered to sleep under the tree. Corey is tuckered out, so I'm going to go put Peter to bed and will set an alarm for 2:30 to put out the gifts. 

Update: At 3:10 am I finished and we were ready for Christmas morning. As for how the rest of Christmas Eve went, Peter would NOT go to sleep, I don't know when he gave up, but I left his room at 1 am and went to bed in my bed... then my 2:30 alarm woke me up... 

Corey did a great job wrapping this year. We were talking with the kids earlier this week about the Christmas last year, with hardly any presents and ugly wrapping paper, it was funny to relive it. I guess it's good that Corey went over the top this year. He usually goes to wrap at his parents house where the kids won't see, but he wrapped all the gifts here at home in his office this year, cause we bought lots of bins at Costco and sealed them up with little cable ties to keep nosy kids out. The ties were loud when I cut them... I didn't go looking for scissors, I used a kitchen knife. 

They snapped pretty loud, but I didn't really care, I'm not pretending that I'm Santa. They know it's their mom. I finished at 3 - I heard the kids a few times, as they had alarms set for 3, crazy kids... 

Yeah Corey did a good job, this looks alot better than last year

Then it was time for me to go back to bed, trusting it will be a good Christmas tomorrow.