For my talk today, I want to talk about my testimony, which I have learned to acquire through faith, prayer, and turning my life and my desires completely over to the Lord. The spirit has been strongest in my life when I testify, so that’s kinda what I want to do today as well. I have often been very impacted by testimonies I’ve heard, whether they be from parents, grandparents, friends, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. This is also why I’ve loved being a missionary so much. My heart and my mind are very clear, and I have no doubts about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Of course I have questions, as do we all, but no doubts.
Before my mission, I was in a tough spot. I remember walking out of a lesson in seminary and thinking “man God is so good” and being super hyped to serve my mission. During my next class, we learned about hinduism and buddhism and suddenly, in that 1 hour and a half, I thought I lost my testimony. I can’t explain it, but suddenly nothing made sense and I had serious doubts. I mean the Quran is a book, just like the Book of Mormon is. Why isn’t that the word of God?
During the eight hours after school ended, I was totally broken. I remember crying in my bed and not knowing how my life was gonna play out all of the sudden. If I don’t have a testimony I can’t go on a mission, and if I don’t go on a mission I have to go to school, and if I go to school I can’t go to BYU, and if I didn’t go to BYU how would I pay for school, and so on and so forth. It was a dark and scary feeling. I remember going downstairs to tell my dad how I felt. He was gonna be heartbroken! Instead of reacting the way I thought he would, he just smiled at me. I’ve had this reaction from him with lots of things, and in the past it has made me way mad. Couldn’t he see this was a big problem! After talking for a bit he just said, “I know it’s true”. It was said with such confidence that even though I was confused, I was able to hold on to that. He then offered to say a prayer with me that I would be able to get my witness of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon that I had always wanted, and promised me that I would get it if I kept going. This experience with my dad, as well as countless others, gave me more strength to keep going even if I was confused. I still wasn’t satisfied, but I had enough faith to keep going. I still had faith in God and Jesus Christ as I always had, but I didn’t understand why (in my mind) they didn’t keep their promises.
So, fast forward a couple weeks, coronavirus started to break out, and suddenly my glorious senior year full of sleeping in and procrastinating had come to an end. I was working then part-time at a music studio, and I remember talking to the director. He was pretty straightforward with me, and when I told him I was planning on going straight out on the mission he was like “people should wait to go on missions until they’re mature” and then sarcastically looked at me and said “so keep that in mind”. He then kept expressing his concern that going out right from high school increased my chances of going home early. Talking more with other people, it annoyed me that not everyone thought I was as ready as I thought I was, and I wanted to prove myself.
Then, an opportunity came to go sell pest control in california for the rest of my senior year until I started my mission. I knew this was my chance to prove I was a man and could do hard things, but if I’m gonna be totally honest, I really didn’t want to do it. My dad had me make a list of pros and cons of going forward with the experience. My pros list included only two things:
1) Make bank
2) Become a man.
My con list however was massive. I wrote things down like:
1) I already have two jobs 2) I would have to pay for my own food in california 3) Bowling alleys are reopening 4) I’m not in a financial crisis right now 5) I’d be away from my friends 6) I want to hang with the fam before I leave 7) They don’t have enough room in the dorm (which was true. I spent the two months on the floor) 8) I Feel like I would suck at sales 9) The pay is all commission 10) Lancaster CA is ugly 11) I have to give my graduation speech 12) I’d miss the end of my senior yearAnd finally, at the top of the cons list, the most tragic of all that single handedly most nearly kept me from going was that 13 - my friend Geroge was getting a hot tub. I remember hearing this and my heart just dropped. The pain was too much. I couldn’t go.
Instead of turning my will to the Lord and doing what I knew he would probably want me to do, I was going to do what was more comfortable for me in that moment. I remember my dad trying to talk me into it saying “would 14 year old Ethan be more excited to become the version of you working hard in california or the one sitting in George’s hot tub?”.
I then answered truthfully saying “he would probably rather be in the hot tub”. Which, if you remember me at 14, was a true statement.
That night I was positively not going, when I received a text message from my Grandpa Wride that completely changed the man I was preparing myself to become. He said.
“Thoughts:
I was thinking about your upcoming mission today and for some reason the lines of the poem I earlier shared with you came to my mind, (this isn’t the full poem, but you can look it up online. Christmas Eve on the Desert by Harrison R. Merrill)
Tonight, not one alone am I but three —
The Lad I was the Man I am, and he
Who looks adown the coming future years
And wonders at my sloth.
His hopes and fears
Should goad me to the manly game
Of adding to the honor of my name.
I’m Fate to him — that chap that’s I, grown old,
No matter how much stocks and lands and gold
I save for him, he can’t buy back a single day
On which I built a pattern for his way.
I, in turn, am product of that Boy
Who rarely thought of After Selves. His joy
Was in the present.
He might have saved me woe
Had he but thought.
The ways that I must go
Are his. He marked them all for me
And I must follow — and so must he —
My Future Self — Unless I save him!
Tonight, not one alone am I but three —
The Lad I was, the Man I am, and he
Who is my Future Self — nay, more,
I am HIS savior — that thought makes me four!
Just as quickly as I had decided not to go because of George's hot tub, I knew I was going. I am my future’s savior, and I owe it to him to work hard now. Since then, I’ve looked at that pros and cons list very differently. Based on what I had written, both the pros and cons list could have been described as this:
Cons for going: I’m lazy and I don’t want to grow up
Pros for going: Become the man that I’d fondly like to be
Within seconds after reading the text from my grandpa, I told my dad I was going to do it, and that Monday I left for California with my older brother Joseph and our friend Talmage. The journey to manhood had begun.
It was a pain in the butt! Walking in the sun all day in the hood of california selling pest control to people who kind of looked like the bugs I was trying to get rid of, broke me. I had multiple experiences getting raged at. In spanish it wasn’t so bad, but getting yelled at in english hurt. Basically, it broke me, and one day I spent a good 30 minutes just crying on the side of the road. I know I will have lots more experiences like this, especially on the mission. Even though it sucked, it was great mission prep and I’m super grateful for that experience.
Perhaps more rewarding than the mission prep of talking to random people all day was the large chunks of time I had each day to study in the scriptures. For over a year I hadn’t missed a day reading the Book of Mormon. I really believed the church was true, but still didn’t feel comfortable to look someone in the eyes and say “I know it’s true”. I was craving for one overwhelming experience where I would know it’s true.
There was one Sunday in CA that I spent reading the Book of Mormon. I read most the day until I finished the whole book over again. I prayed to God that night, ready to feel an angel spiritually slap me or something. I had done it, and it was time for the Lord to do his part. Well, I didn’t get the answer I was looking for, and I was angry.
Even though I didn’t get an answer, I kept reading the next day. I can’t describe it, but I really started to read with an open mind and an open heart. That day, I really did know it was true and realized that I had known it was true all along.
In Moroni 10:4-5 he doesn’t say “if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, having real intent, with faith in Christ, You will hear a voice say, ‘hey buddy, it’s true!’”. He says he’ll do it by the power of the Holy Ghost, not specifying exactly how, or when. God reveals truths to us in the way that he knows will sustain us the longest and be the best for us in our lives.
My answer that the Book of Mormon is true wasn’t unique either. In reading the book “Saints”, there are lots of conversion stories. I was struck and intrigued by the fact that most of the witnesses that the Book of Mormon was true people received were just like mine, but with a whole lot more faith and consequence. They read it, prayed about it, and then asked God if it was true. They felt in their hearts that it was true, so they left their homes, submitted themselves to unlawful and horrendous persecution, and lived lives hated by much of the world in that area. What a sacrifice. No other book can do that.
This had been my problem. I wasn’t turning my will and my life fully over to God. I was waiting for that one incredible experience where it felt like the heavens were open and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside and maybe even heard a voice, but that’s not what I needed. God and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith for our learning and benefit too, not just Joseph Smiths. We can be as strongly impacted by that experience as Joseph Smith was. I had always had all the tools I needed to see my testimony, I just needed to use them. There is also another problem with the idea of getting one super powerful experience. Yes they are super exciting and can greatly build testimonies, but I’ve come to learn that there is no spiritual experience so strong or so powerful that it alone can sustain your testimony throughout your whole life. There just isn't. Look at Joseph Smith for an example. He had likely the most glorious and divine spiritual experience of anyone who has ever lived on earth, and yet he continued to learn line upon line, precept upon precept, every day. As amazing as that experience was, it didn’t stop him from having questions, and he knew that there was more to learn and to feel. Our testimonies don’t have a maximum capacity. They can always reach higher, and if we do those daily things, they always will.
Another thing I find interesting in Joseph Smith’s first prayer, is that I believe if God and Jesus Christ hadn’t appeared to him, he wouldn’t have stopped trying to get an answer. He would have continued to look for truth even if he didn’t get an answer when he asked for it. It’s hurt me in the past to hear about and talk to friends who tell me that they’ve prayed with all their heart to know if it was true, and they didn’t get an answer when they expected. Without giving much time for God to even answer, they quickly abandoned ship and declare that “it isn’t true”, and in more extreme cases, “I know it isn’t true”. This is likely why God didn’t answer them right away in the first place! If they were that quick to abandon hope of getting an answer, an answer right then wouldn’t have given them a sustainable witness of it’s truthfulness. The Lord loves effort. It takes more work, like Moroni says in Ether 12:6.
“I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith”
For many, the trial of faith is pushing through those moments when the heavens seem closed and God doesn’t seem to care to answer, but I also know that it can also be stepping into the dark and taking a leap of faith with your testimony. Bearing witness of something you don’t fully know of yourself, but having faith that you’ll find your testimony on the way. I’ve done this too, and as I testify, even if it’s to a fake investigator, the spirit is there. With the right heart, you cannot teach someone about the gospel and not feel the spirit.
I testify that, sooner or later, God answers our prayers. He really does hear them. Reading in the Book of Mormon lately has been super interesting to me as well. It’s easy for us, as the reader, to be more critical of those mentioned in the scriptures and their faith. In Mosiah 21, Limhi’s people are in bondage of the lamanites, and in verse 14-15 it says
“14 And [the people of Limhi] did humble themselves even in the depth of humility; and did cry mightily to God; yea, even all the day long did they cry unto their God that he would deliver them out of their afflictions.
15 And now the Lord was slow to hear their cries because of their iniquities; nevertheless the Lord did hear their cries, and began to soften the hearts of the Lamanites that they began to ease their burdens; yet the Lord did not see fit to deliver them out of bondage.”
If I were the people of Limhi, I would be upset. I would not see how the Lord was helping and I would feel angry for not being delivered. If the lamanites gave me lighter loads, I don’t think I would have correlated it to an answer of prayer, but instead just good luck. But, as the reader, we clearly see that the Lord did hear their prayers and did answer it in his own infinite wisdom. I think of our own situation as a church with this coronavirus as well. If someone back then were recording our situation, they might say something like:
And the [saints of the latter-days] did humble themselves even in the depths of humility; and they did cry mightily to God; yea, even all the day long did they cry unto their God that he might take away the coronavirus, deliver them from their afflictions, and bring the world back to normal.
And now the Lord was slow to hear their cries because of the iniquities of the world and the lesson he still wanted to teach them; that of the importance of families, temples, and the gathering of Israel; nevertheless, the Lord did hear their cries, and began to reopen the temples, send missionaries back out into the field, reopen the churches, and continue the gathering of Israel; yet the Lord did not see fit to take away the coronavirus.
Brothers and sisters, if only we could see how closely and how personally the Lord is involved in each one of our lives! I testify that he hears our prayers and he wants to answer them! If only we could read our own books of our life, and see how close the Lord was there all along. I’m sure if we had those records, we would also be embarrassed at the ways we acted at times, in our mortality, failing to see how closely we were being cared for.
Just as I was struggling with knowing if I had a testimony and whether or not my prayers were being heard, I know we all have our own questions and prayers that may feel like they aren’t being heard or answered, but I witness that they are being heard, and they are being answered, all according to the infinite wisdom of our loving Heavenly Father, his son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. Jeffery R. Holland said
“Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.”
Upon my return from california, I was a changed man. I had learned more about the real world, my bribing skills, and hard work. It was such a rich and rewarding experience that I genuinely miss. The night I came home and for the entire next week, I sunk into mental depression. I walked away from thousands of dollars to go bowl with my friends who hadn’t changed a bit since I’d seen them last. Of course I missed them, but I wanted to make bank. I remember asking my friend Truman “what did I miss?” and he responded “absolutely nothing”. We didn’t bowl very well that night either, which made it even worse. Also George didn’t even get the hot tub finished while I was gone, so staying would have been a complete waste. The hot tub at the apartment complex we stayed at in california was open though, so really the whole pest control venture was a win-win.
Just as I have felt an increase of God’s presence in my life the past couple months, I know that the mission will continue to do that for me. I feel the gospel burn in my chest as I learn more, and the greatest desire I have right now is to share it with others. In a zoom lesson I taught recently to a lady I met in California, she said through tears that the Book of Mormon is “feeding her soul”. That’s what the gospel does, and that’s what the Book of Mormon does.
Jacob 2:8 says
“And it supposeth me that they have come up hither to hear the word of God, yea, the word which healeth the wounded soul”
The gospel heals people and hearts. The work is so real and so important. During my first zoom lesson as a missionary, we were shown before and after pictures of people who joined the church. The changes were incredible. It was the same person, but so different. So much confidence. You could clearly see the change that had happened inside their souls, and the healing that Christ had done.
I have also learned the importance of scripture study. They testify of false spirits and false prophets in the last days, and that there would be many. Putting on the armour of God every day by reading the scriptures and praying protects us from falling into these traps that have been set before us. We all have missions to fulfill here on earth, and each of us has an essential role in the plan of our heavenly father for the eventual return of his son Jesus Christ to the earth.
Perhaps one of my favorite scriptures is in Moses 1:6. The line simply says:
“And I have a work for thee, Moses, my son…”
In my scriptures I have Moses’ name crossed out and above it I have my name written. For me, it reads, “And I have a work for thee, Ethan, my son.”. All of our names can take that place as well. We all have work to do.
I have a testimony of Joseph Smith. I testify and promise that he was a prophet called of God to restore the true church and true gospel of Jesus Christ in these latter days. He wasn’t a perfect man, but he was a great man, who’s sole desire was to please the Lord and do his will. He was a humble man. I recently started reading the book “Saints” and am amazed at the faith and sacrifices of our ancestors. One of my favorite lines in that book is as follows:
Emma often acted as Joseph’s scribe after he began translating the record. One day, while he translated, Joseph suddenly grew pale. “Emma, did Jerusalem have a wall around it?” he asked. “Yes,” she said, recalling descriptions of it in the Bible. “Oh,” Joseph said with relief, “I was afraid I had been deceived.”2 This line in and of itself truly describes the prophet Joseph Smith. He had no education and no money. I am so confused as to how people think the Book of Mormon came about. Like, bruh, come on, Joseph was a prophet. Nobody can just write the Book of Mormon! There is no middle ground. Joseph Smith was either a prophet, or he wasn’t, and the Book of Mormon is either true, or it’s not! But yes, he was a prophet and anyone who truly studies will know that as well and will not be able to deny it. Had Joseph Smith been a false prophet, the church would not be as strong and as good as it is today. By their fruits ye shall know them, and Joseph Smith was a prophet. Through him, the Book of Mormon was translated and through that book, we are able to draw nearer to God than any other way.
I can say without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that the Book of Mormon is true. I know it, I know that God knows I know it, and I will not deny it.
I’ve had people tell me regarding my mission that they are “so glad it’s you and not me”. Well, if I’m being completely honest, I’m also so glad it’s me and not them. What better time in the world is there than now to go and proclaim the restored gospel! It’s such a blessing. The uncertainty of how my mission will look is not something I am scared about. I know that the Lord wants me out there right now and he will make use of the time I’m giving him.
Revelation 12:7-10 says
“And there was a war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels”
Michael and his angels. That was us. We fought alongside Michael, and we won. When teaching how we did overcome satan, we read in verse 11
“And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto death”
The three primary things that assisted our defeat against satan was the blood of the lamb, the word of our testimonies, and loving not our lives unto death. In other words, by faith in Jesus Christ and his atonement, bearing testimony, and loving the things of God more than their own lives. This is how we won the first time, and it’s how we’re going to win again. Whether serving missions or not, we all have a crucial role in the gathering of israel.
I am especially thankful for great parents and the way they raised me. We didn’t always get along, but they’ve given me everything necessary to get me at this point of serving a mission and I don’t see how I would be here without them and what they taught me.
I wish I could talk more and keep teaching, but I’ll have the next two whole years to do that. If you remember anything from this, remember that Ethan Wride knows without a doubt that the church is true, and all who truthfully seek will also know.
Alma 5:44 and 48
For I am called to speak after this manner, according to the holy order of God, which is in Christ Jesus; yea, I am commanded to stand and testify unto this people the things which have been spoken by our fathers concerning the things which are to come
I say unto you, that I know of myself that whatsoever I shall say unto you, concerning that which is to come, is true; and I say unto you, that I know that Jesus Christ shall come, yea, the Son, the Only Begotten of the Father, full of grace, and mercy, and truth. And behold, it is he that cometh to take away the sins of the world, yea, the sins of every man who steadfastly believeth on his name.
THE CHURCH IS TRUE BABY
AMEN
