Tooth Fairy - Busted

Well, the world is a little less innocent today. Actually it happened on Sunday. You see, Abi lost another tooth, and she wanted us to call the tooth fairy STAT to let her know she had to come visit her. (Not sure where she got the idea that the tooth fairy has a phone number you can call?) So, since her father knows who calls the shots around here, he obediently picked up his phone and dialed... his mother. "Hi can I speak to the tooth fairy?" His mother played along, but... Abi was listening and she would not be fooled. She called him out on it. "That sounds like Grandma..."

 

"...Okay, you got me, that was Grandma. I'll call the real tooth fairy now..." Then he called his brother. "Hi, can I please speak to the tooth fairy?" Again, without missing a beat, his brother replied "Oh, I'm sorry, the tooth fairy is not in right now, but this is her office. May I leave a message for you?" After a minute, Corey got everything covered and squared away. But... after hanging up, Abi kept pestering for details. Soon Corey fessed up that that was his brother, not the tooth fairy's assistant. Corey tried again and called my cell phone. I tried to hide in the closet upstairs as I talked, but I quickly heard Abi say "That sounds like MOM!" Doh! Corey's bluffs were not able to stand up to the scrutiny of this six year old. Abi, show me your "Don't lie to me, Dad" look:

There it is. That's the death scorn she glared at the father who dared try to trick kids!

Then Corey told me I had to get her folded arms in the picture for accurate documentation. He felt like he was in TROU-BLE! So, she came upstairs to where I was and told me that she knew that Dad called me and that she doesn't like it when parents try to trick kids! I told her it was just a game to play, but yes, you're right, we give in! There is no tooth fairy! I'm the tooth fairy! And she had had it with all our lies so we went down the whole list of things that we don't even preach to them anyway but I guess they just learn about at school. Santa is not real, there is no Easter Bunny. Leprechauns don't pinch you on St. Patrick's Day, there is no cupid. It's all just for fun. Except for Jesus, that one is real. "And here's another thing (none of this was spoken in anger, just matter of fact) I really don't need your teeth anyway, I don't have to buy them from you." I confessed that I just throw them in the trash. Sorry little girl, you want the truth, that's the truth. So, I'll pay up this one last time though. "Do you just want it now or should we play the game one more time and put it under your pillow?" She decided to just do the exchange now, and she handed me her tooth in an envelope. I handed her the Cold Stone gift card I had in my pocket,and that was that. Innocence is gone, she's not a little girl anymore.

Now that the jig is up, I told Abi that, unfortunately, there will be no more tooth fairy surprises for her. That helped my frugal conscience justify giving her the $5 Coldstone gift card I had on hand, which was the only reward the tooth fairy could give her on such short notice. She's growing older, but after taking her out for her treat, I remembered she is still young enough to not know what's gross and what's not - she asked for a concoction of ice cream and sugar that so repulsed me that I wasn't even tempted to ask her to share. Good for my diet, but next time (for Lily/Sophi) I'm gonna skip the elaborate stuff at Cold Stone and just do the Wendy's frosty route. Abi got gummy bears for her mix-in. Gross Abi, I'm telling ya, cookies and chocolate! That's the only way to go.