Tuesday, January 17, 2012

1 a.m. Ramblings

Corey's in St. George for a few days, the kids are in bed, I just did 20 minutes of gymboss running and exercising outside - that was me out in the dark doing plank jacks in case any of you were in the cars that drove by. So, since I exercised now I'm here at the computer winding down, my brother commented on my facebook share of the video of Colum I posted yesterday, so of course I watched it again and started to cry again. So sad!!! Driving home from a Christmas party, and in an instant everything changes...


Who knows what trials we all will face in life? I re-read a few chapters in the above book today, (I have a slight fascination with NDE books... and remember, Corey's going to Chile again, so of course I'm thinking of him dying and me becoming a widow again...) so I've been thinking of losing a child or Corey to death, I know in such a trial the Spirit of God would be there to sustain me, but wow, definitely not a trial I'd pick off of the shelf if I had a choice. In that book above, here's what the back cover says:

Chris Monsen's husband was drowning in the freezing waters of Yuba Lake. Terrified, she left her children on the shore and braved the icy waters in an effort to save him. Then a voice sounded in her mind: "Chris, go back!" She turned and saw her young children struggling towards her, neck-deep in the deadly waters. Already numb with cold, she faced a dire decision: try to save her husband or turn back to save her children. Crying out in despair (now I'm tearing up again) she left her dying husband, all the while praying for a miracle-but it was not not be. Moments later Chris watched in disbelief as her husband sank out of sight.

Doesn't that just sound like an uplifting read? Not really huh, but you know most stories need to have a tragedy and trials to make them wonderful. Thus, this is a wonderful book, I give it two thumbs up.

So, like Valley Forge and "Life is Beautiful" (The Book of Mormon is also mostly about wars and family feuds) here's one more depressing story to give us perspective, here's a talk called "Be of Good Cheer" that shares this story (I remember totally crying through this one too... why do they teach us to be cheerful by depressing us? (...atleast temporary depression) I guess to make us grateful for the blessings in our lives, right?):
In about March 1946, less than a year after the end of the war, Ezra Taft Benson, then a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, accompanied by Frederick W. Babbel, was assigned a special postwar tour of Europe for the express purpose of meeting with the Saints, assessing their needs, and providing assistance to them. Elder Benson and Brother Babbel later recounted, from a testimony they heard, the experience of a Church member who found herself in an area no longer controlled by the government under which she had resided.
She and her husband had lived an idyllic life in East Prussia. Then had come the second great world war within their lifetimes. Her beloved young husband was killed during the final days of the frightful battles in their homeland, leaving her alone to care for their four children.
The occupying forces determined that the Germans in East Prussia must go to Western Germany to seek a new home. The woman was German, and so it was necessary for her to go. The journey was over a thousand miles (1,600 km), and she had no way to accomplish it but on foot. She was allowed to take only such bare necessities as she could load into her small wooden-wheeled wagon. Besides her children and these meager possessions, she took with her a strong faith in God and in the gospel as revealed to the latter-day prophet Joseph Smith.
She and the children began the journey in late summer. Having neither food nor money among her few possessions, she was forced to gather a daily subsistence from the fields and forests along the way. She was constantly faced with dangers from panic-stricken refugees and plundering troops.
As the days turned into weeks and the weeks to months, the temperatures dropped below freezing. Each day, she stumbled over the frozen ground, her smallest child—a baby—in her arms. Her three other children struggled along behind her, with the oldest—seven years old—pulling the tiny wooden wagon containing their belongings. Ragged and torn burlap was wrapped around their feet, providing the only protection for them, since their shoes had long since disintegrated. Their thin, tattered jackets covered their thin, tattered clothing, providing their only protection against the cold.
Soon the snows came, and the days and nights became a nightmare. In the evenings she and the children would try to find some kind of shelter—a barn or a shed—and would huddle together for warmth, with a few thin blankets from the wagon on top of them.
She constantly struggled to force from her mind overwhelming fears that they would perish before reaching their destination.
And then one morning the unthinkable happened. As she awakened, she felt a chill in her heart. The tiny form of her three-year-old daughter was cold and still, and she realized that death had claimed the child. Though overwhelmed with grief, she knew that she must take the other children and travel on. First, however, she used the only implement she had—a tablespoon—to dig a grave in the frozen ground for her tiny, precious child.
Death, however, was to be her companion again and again on the journey. Her seven-year-old son died, either from starvation or from freezing or both. Again her only shovel was the tablespoon, and again she dug hour after hour to lay his mortal remains gently into the earth. Next, her five-year-old son died, and again she used her tablespoon as a shovel.
Her despair was all consuming. She had only her tiny baby daughter left, and the poor thing was failing. Finally, as she was reaching the end of her journey, the baby died in her arms. The spoon was gone now, so hour after hour she dug a grave in the frozen earth with her bare fingers. Her grief became unbearable. How could she possibly be kneeling in the snow at the graveside of her last child? She had lost her husband and all her children. She had given up her earthly goods, her home, and even her homeland.
In this moment of overwhelming sorrow and complete bewilderment, she felt her heart would literally break. In despair she contemplated how she might end her own life, as so many of her fellow countrymen were doing. How easy it would be to jump off a nearby bridge, she thought, or to throw herself in front of an oncoming train.
And then, as these thoughts assailed her, something within her said, “Get down on your knees and pray.” She ignored the prompting until she could resist it no longer. She knelt and prayed more fervently than she had in her entire life:
“Dear Heavenly Father, I do not know how I can go on. I have nothing left—except my faith in Thee. I feel, Father, amidst the desolation of my soul, an overwhelming gratitude for the atoning sacrifice of Thy Son, Jesus Christ. I cannot express adequately my love for Him. I know that because He suffered and died, I shall live again with my family; that because He broke the chains of death, I shall see my children again and will have the joy of raising them. Though I do not at this moment wish to live, I will do so, that we may be reunited as a family and return—together—to Thee.”
When she finally reached her destination of Karlsruhe, Germany, she was emaciated. Brother Babbel said that her face was a purple-gray, her eyes red and swollen, her joints protruding. She was literally in the advanced stages of starvation. In a Church meeting shortly thereafter, she bore a glorious testimony, stating that of all the ailing people in her saddened land, she was one of the happiest because she knew that God lived, that Jesus is the Christ, and that He died and was resurrected so that we might live again. She testified that she knew if she continued faithful and true to the end, she would be reunited with those she had lost and would be saved in the celestial kingdom of God. 8
From the holy scriptures we read, “Behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in [Him], they who have endured the crosses of the world, … they shall inherit the kingdom of God, … and their joy shall be full forever.” 9
I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us.
My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.
I declare that God lives and that He hears and answers our prayers. His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Savior and our Redeemer. Heaven’s blessings await us. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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So if you've made it this far, one last thought - I believe President Monson is a prophet of God - a Moses or Peter sent by the Lord to guide us in our day, the latter days, the perilous times before Christ returns to earth. So the world is wicked, lots of bad things happening, lots of work to do, and what is the message of the prophet? It's not hellfire and damnation - it's Be of Good Cheer, be Grateful, Be happy! Of course that happiness only comes from keeping the commandments, but people need to choose it, you can't force it upon them. It's not a doom and gloom work we are doing here, it is the kingdom of God on the earth, we know how the story ends, the good guys win, it's our job to keep out chins up, keep working hard serving and blessing others, that's how we can lift and bless and help others come to Christ. Life is good, "the future is as bright as our faith!!!"

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