Even If

Yesterday morning, as I went on a morning walk/jog, a song came up on my playlist that I don't remember ever listening to. I'm thinking maybe my brother recommended it or something so I added it? Anyway, I felt like I was hearing it for the first time (I think I was) and the words spoke to my heart and I cried as I walked and ran listening to "Even If" by MercyMe
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They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I'm losing bad
I've stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it'll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can't
It's easy to sing
When there's nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I'm held to the flame
Like I am right now

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
 Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

You've been faithful, You've been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
'Cause I know You're able
I know You can

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul 

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I listened to it again this morning, didn't cry as much. It really is just a beautiful song though. And looking out at the cold winter world in it's frozen beauty, I did feel and hope to trust in God, and I prayed for him to comfort me and rescue me from my worry.  

I don't really have anything to be panicked about - probably just some stress from not having a working tub. It's been broken for a few weeks - the handle broke off several weeks ago, and thus we've used it sparingly for the past month cause the hot water is super hart to turn on, even with pliers. As dumb as that is, I think the stupid tub has been the catalyst for my despairing mood.

I went and bought a faucet to attempt to fix it myself, and I was able to get the cold water handle off for reference. I went by Home Depot and Lowes and didn't find one that I thought would work, so then off to a plumbing supply store, I showed them the piece from the current tub, they didn't think they had one that would match but gave me the closest they had. I came back home to try and repair it, but I could not for the life of me get the hot water base loose, so... called the plumber. They'll be here on Tuesday and hopefully they can get it off and get the job done. So emotionally/mentally, I've been having a rough week and am feeling like I'm in a storm. letting myself be beat up by worry about the future and doubt about the present. But life goes on - so I say a prayer and face the day. 

We had parent teacher conferences at the school. When I'm already running on low, it doesn't help to have six kids in tow to conferences (seven... one of S's friends tagged along) but it's ok. I can do this.

The kids are doing great. They showed me their artwork that is decorating the hallways by their classrooms. Owen did this cool red dragon!

And pointing out his castle.

Daniel's favorite color is blue, and he made this lovely rainbow.

Natalie didn't pose by her picture, but you can see the resemblance I'm sure. 

Something that caught my attention in Natalie's classroom, probably cause I'm interested in life coaching and mental work and trying to mind my thoughts (and am working to do that right now!) was this little Growth Mindset display on the wall - such great stuff! Especially if the kids can learn this and start applying it to their minds at this young age!

Another thing that helps my mindset it going to the temple. Went there last night for initiatories.

Going to try to keep enduring, and will hopefully be enduring well soon.