To Mom and Dad ~
Happy Anniversary!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Stinkin' Cute Wafee
Oh I love my Wafee
(aka Sophia)
Sophia was originally named "Sophia" by her parents, but they took after two year old Lily when she started calling Sophia "Fifi" which we all adored and thus mimicked, then when we all started calling Sophia "Fifi", Lily started calling her "Wafee" - We liked that pet name too so started calling her "Wafee"
- and then Lily started calling her "Sophia".
I usually call her Wafee if she's screaming her head off like she's being attacked by monsters (or the overly adoring 4 year old Abi.)
The kids feel so proud of themselves if they can get her to laugh - they squeal "SoFEEEa!" when they're playing with her and she's laughing or making raspberries.
And we call her "Pretty-pretty-pretty!" when she's looking up at us with those big baby eyes.
She is beauty and innocence squished together inside a wonderfully baby smelling chubby pink slobbery bundle of heaven on earth. I feel so lucky to have her. (what is that baby smell, it's like sweet milk and baby softness and something, I don't know what it is, but I love to bury my head in her neck and cheeks and just breath in her baby smell, love!)
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Riding A Horsey
Abi was playing so sweetly with Lily last Friday - Usually she's in the older sibling mode of "my little sister is bugging me and messing up my stuff" but Friday she was being the motherly older sister and led out in playing a game, helped Lily get dressed, and spoke most every word in a sweet Cinderella princess voice, it was just cute.And then they topped it off by making me laugh when I saw them in the backyard like this -
Ethan and Corey were the only ones home, so I called them to come see and went and grabbed my camera, Abi and Lily were riding the horsey (one of those wood deer thingys) in the backyard. Cute cute
Thanks for being such a nice big sister today Abi! Do it again tomorrow, k? It makes life just so much better all around.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Making Valentines
The kids made some Valentine Roses over at Corey's parent's house this weekend. They worked hard making roses. Melodie had worked on them during several visits and almost had enough for her whole class until she left them out on Monday morning where Lily and Abi discovered them and ate them while I took a bath. Foolish on my part to 1) attempt taking a bath while children are awake and 2) not put 2 and 2 together and realize that the only reason they were not pounding on the door to join me in the tub was because they were up to no good.
Anyway, the flowers turned out cute. Ethan made a bouquet for his teacher and made simple valentines for his class.
Joe donated his flowers to Melodie (such a gentleman).
Do you like Mel's and Ethan's new glasses? We all got two pairs at America's best, two pair plus a free eye exam for $69.95 or something, they were all over due for a check up. We got out eye exams done on the day of the Brian Regan show, I thought it was appropriate. (They don't call it a quiz...) and I was laughing as the eye doctor said "number 1... or number 2" with each of us.
One quick tutorial for how to make valentine roses here. :) We used 4x4 inch squares of cellophane wrap, and we also stabbed our kisses instead of wrapping them like they do at that link.
Joe stabbing his kisses with a thick wire above, then wrapping the cellophane shut with a smaller wire below
Then wrap it all with green floral tape.
This is why we almost ran out of chocolates as we made flowers...
Hope you all had a nice Valentine's day!
Monday, February 13, 2012
My Valentine
Around here for me and my Valentine, Valentine's day takes a back seat to our anniversary which is 5 days later. But really everyday is Valentine's day when you have such a sweet sweetheart as I do - too much sweetness for one day, so I get a little bit throughout the whole year. :) Here's one of our engagement photos from back in the day...
... it just keeps getting better!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Book Review - I Saw Heaven
Good book, recommend it. Not much time to type now, but the author of this book is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, so since we have that in common I understood most of what he shared.
Favorite part in this book - how everyone in heaven is just learning and learning, there is a thirst for knowledge (pg 75). I liked that - I feel like I have so much that I want to read and do and learn how to do that if I stopped and only did the things I know I have on my list now, I could be busy till I die (that's not factoring in sleep or housekeeping or the things that I'll want to add to my list after I learn what I want to learn - like Einstein's "Circumference of Darkness" theory.) Wonderful to know we will live, learn, and progress forever!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Baby Brows
I love baby eyebrows - so expressive!
(sorry for the boogers, Fifi's got a little bit of a runny nose)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
You Can Have It All
A few years ago I heard a saying that has stayed with me. I was at a meeting and a woman was talking about how we all have a huge list of things we want - things to do, to learn, to read, to buy, etc. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the huge list and how you'll never have time or means to do it all, just remember (and here was her saying):
I loved that! So I already had a mental list, and I went home and made a real list, and sure enough, as I took it one at a time, I was able to buy all the things I wanted for my home (that's where most of my wants were... all this moving and relocating, I'm in constant nesting mode, trying to get the house together, and then once I feel like I'm almost there, we up and move again!)
My list continues and I'm always adding more things and crossing off things that are done. Some things on the list are removed as they become unimportant, or some are still on there, but stay on the list cause they are less important that others. So, whatever you want, just write it down and know that you can have it and will have it if it's really important to you, just remember to take it one at a time.
Little story about this: When Corey left for Chile last month, he asked if he could take my camera. It is (was) a light blue Canon SD 1300 IS. When he went to Chile in November I felt bad that we hadn't thought of him taking it, cause after he got down there he realized he would have liked to get pictures of that pilot. So this time yes, you should take the camera. And as I handed it over (a little slowly, I think I was saying goodbye...) I knew there was a good chance it would get busted or something, as I thought of all the cd cases that have been cracked and broken or cds scratched in his computer bag and/or luggage. I told my little camera "good luck" (the way Brian Regan does at minute 1:00 here) as I handed it over. I also luckily found it's case as he was heading out the door. I hoped that would increase it's chances of survival.
Well, one day during his trip he called to say "Hey sweetheart! I love you. I think I lost your camera". No worries. He was pretty sure he left it on the seat of the taxi. "Well I hope that whoever finds it really needs it," was my reply. He had thought and hoped the same thing. Sure, part of me saw it coming, but no need for me to be upset. I am a stay at home mom, that camera was given to me by Corey, he is the one that earned the money to buy it, he does an amazing job, I know he will yet provide means for me to get another camera. (I also hope whoever has it now can find a charger for the battery - shouldn't be too hard if they know about ebay...)
So a camera wasn't on my list, but after he told me that it was lost in Chile, that moved to #1 of my needs/wants, and after a couple of weeks of keeping my eye open I bought one yesterday at Costco for $109, pretty good deal I thought. With just a little patience, you can have anything you want, you just have to get it one at a time. :)
ps - I also broke my Canon SD780 in Chile, so now I have the accessories/battery chargers for a SD1300 IS and a SD780 if anyone has a similar camera and wants these... I'm in a big time clearing out clutter mode this week, so let me know. :)
You can have everything you want,
you just have to have it one at a time.
you just have to have it one at a time.
I loved that! So I already had a mental list, and I went home and made a real list, and sure enough, as I took it one at a time, I was able to buy all the things I wanted for my home (that's where most of my wants were... all this moving and relocating, I'm in constant nesting mode, trying to get the house together, and then once I feel like I'm almost there, we up and move again!)
My list continues and I'm always adding more things and crossing off things that are done. Some things on the list are removed as they become unimportant, or some are still on there, but stay on the list cause they are less important that others. So, whatever you want, just write it down and know that you can have it and will have it if it's really important to you, just remember to take it one at a time.
Little story about this: When Corey left for Chile last month, he asked if he could take my camera. It is (was) a light blue Canon SD 1300 IS. When he went to Chile in November I felt bad that we hadn't thought of him taking it, cause after he got down there he realized he would have liked to get pictures of that pilot. So this time yes, you should take the camera. And as I handed it over (a little slowly, I think I was saying goodbye...) I knew there was a good chance it would get busted or something, as I thought of all the cd cases that have been cracked and broken or cds scratched in his computer bag and/or luggage. I told my little camera "good luck" (the way Brian Regan does at minute 1:00 here) as I handed it over. I also luckily found it's case as he was heading out the door. I hoped that would increase it's chances of survival.
Well, one day during his trip he called to say "Hey sweetheart! I love you. I think I lost your camera". No worries. He was pretty sure he left it on the seat of the taxi. "Well I hope that whoever finds it really needs it," was my reply. He had thought and hoped the same thing. Sure, part of me saw it coming, but no need for me to be upset. I am a stay at home mom, that camera was given to me by Corey, he is the one that earned the money to buy it, he does an amazing job, I know he will yet provide means for me to get another camera. (I also hope whoever has it now can find a charger for the battery - shouldn't be too hard if they know about ebay...)
So a camera wasn't on my list, but after he told me that it was lost in Chile, that moved to #1 of my needs/wants, and after a couple of weeks of keeping my eye open I bought one yesterday at Costco for $109, pretty good deal I thought. With just a little patience, you can have anything you want, you just have to get it one at a time. :)
ps - I also broke my Canon SD780 in Chile, so now I have the accessories/battery chargers for a SD1300 IS and a SD780 if anyone has a similar camera and wants these... I'm in a big time clearing out clutter mode this week, so let me know. :)
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Charlie the iPhone
Joseph had only one big thing on this Christmas list, and Corey and I repeatedly said "Don't count on it." But through the power of child like faith a miracle occurred and he got one. (Thanks Nancy, he's loved it)
Sadly, with the addition of the iphone into our family (aka Charlie), Charlie and Joe hang out so much that these two pics represent almost all we see of Joe these days.
We miss you Joe! And Charlie has just about worn our his welcome, so we'll be rationing your screen time promptly, starting... hmm, I think we'll start tomorrow!!!! That gave Charlie and Joe a whole month from Joe's birthday to become acquainted. Now they know each other really well, so time for his non-electronic (aka human) family to become reacquainted with the first born.
(just kidding, it hasn't been that bad, although from how much his siblings complain about how unfair it is you'd think it was...) Our biggest complainer?
She's also the one who just happens to have Joe wrapped around her finger, so this lucky 2 year old usually gets her way. Her favorite app is Talking Tom. And I do admit that it came in super handy when Joe, Lily, and Sophia had to go in for their immunization shots. Lily had the whole clinic staff laughing as they hear Tom imitate her saying "Hey!! 'tupid cat!"
Tom kept Lily distracted until the shot was given, and then continued to do his duty and imitated her screaming cries as she recovered.
Sadly, with the addition of the iphone into our family (aka Charlie), Charlie and Joe hang out so much that these two pics represent almost all we see of Joe these days.
We miss you Joe! And Charlie has just about worn our his welcome, so we'll be rationing your screen time promptly, starting... hmm, I think we'll start tomorrow!!!! That gave Charlie and Joe a whole month from Joe's birthday to become acquainted. Now they know each other really well, so time for his non-electronic (aka human) family to become reacquainted with the first born.
(just kidding, it hasn't been that bad, although from how much his siblings complain about how unfair it is you'd think it was...) Our biggest complainer?
She's also the one who just happens to have Joe wrapped around her finger, so this lucky 2 year old usually gets her way. Her favorite app is Talking Tom. And I do admit that it came in super handy when Joe, Lily, and Sophia had to go in for their immunization shots. Lily had the whole clinic staff laughing as they hear Tom imitate her saying "Hey!! 'tupid cat!"
Tom kept Lily distracted until the shot was given, and then continued to do his duty and imitated her screaming cries as she recovered.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Pretty
On Sunday at church, all the women and teenaged girls met together for a lesson about modesty. I have some thoughts but don't have the time right now to collect them, but thought I'd share this article that was shared as part of the lesson:
The Death Of Pretty
by Pat Archbold (that's a guy, and the bolded parts below are by me)
This post is intended as a lament of sorts, a lament for something in the culture that is dying and may never been seen again.
Pretty. Pretty is dying.
People will define pretty differently. For the purposes of this piece, I define pretty as a mutually enriching balanced combination of beauty and projected innocence.
Once upon a time, women wanted to project an innocence. I am not idealizing another age and I have no illusions about the virtues of our grandparents, concupiscence being what it is. But some things were different in the back then. First and foremost, many beautiful women, whatever the state of their souls, still wished to project a public innocence and virtue. And that combination of beauty and innocence is what I define as pretty.
By nature, generally when men see this combination in women it brings out their better qualities, their best in fact. That special combination of beauty and innocence, the pretty inspires men to protect and defend it.
Young women today do not seem to aspire to pretty, they prefer to be regarded as hot. Hotness is something altogether different. When women want to be hot instead of pretty, they must view themselves in a certain way and consequently men view them differently as well.
As I said, pretty inspires men’s nobler instincts to protect and defend. Pretty is cherished. Hotness, on the other hand, is a commodity. Its value is temporary and must be used. It is a consumable.
Nowhere is this pretty deficit more obvious than in our “stars,” the people we elevate as the “ideal.” The stars of the fifties surely suffered from the same sin as do stars of today. Stars of the fifties weren’t ideal but they pursued a public ideal different from today.
The merits of hotness over pretty is easy enough to understand, they made an entire musical about it. Who can forget how pretty Olivia Newton John was at the beginning of Grease. Beautiful and innocent. But her desire to be desired leads her to throw away all that is valuable in herself in the vain hopes of getting the attention of a boy. In the process, she destroys her innocence and thus destroys the pretty. What we are left with is hotness.
Hotness is a consumable. A consumable that consumes as it is consumed but brings no warmth.
Most girls don’t want to be pretty anymore even if they understand what it is. It is ironic that 40 years of women’s liberation has succeeded only in turning women into a commodity. Something to be used up and thrown out.
Of course men play a role in this as well, but women should know better and they once did. Once upon a time you would hear girls talk about kind of women men date and the kind they marry. You don’t hear things like that anymore.
But here is the real truth. Most men prefer pretty over hot. Even back in 6th grade I hated the “hot” Olivia Newton John and felt sorry for her that she had to debase herself in such a way. Still do.
Our problem is that society doesn’t value innocence anymore, real or imagined. Nobody aspires to innocence anymore. Nobody wants to be thought of as innocent, the good girl. They want to be hot, not pretty.
I still hope that pretty comes back, although I think it not likely any time soon. For every Taylor Swift, there are a hundred Megan Foxs, or Lindsay Lohans, or Miley Cyruses etc.
Girls, please, bring back the pretty.
I loved his definition of "pretty" as a combination of beauty and innocence. I'm grateful for my pretty girls and a husband who thinks I'm pretty (...even though I'm usually un-fancied up most of the time and just in a t-shirt and yoga pants ...) But I aspire to pretty. I think there are so many pretty fabrics and patterns today, and that you can combine any color that please you. I'm a rainbow girl myself. When we went down to Provo to buy Corey's car, we picked up some Krispy Kreme donuts for the kids, and I had to take a picture...
I think Krispy Kreme donuts with sprinkles are pretty! So another goal to add to my 2012 resolutions, I'm going to bring back some of the pretty into my life, into myself, and my home. I think I'll start with some flowers for the home and a pretty apron.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Heaven and Hell
Corey read this on the news this morning and is the one who broke the tragic news to us at breakfast. I was making sandwiches for lunch when he said he wanted to tell us something but didn't want me to spend the rest of the day at the computer. "...okay..." I said wondering what the news could be. When he told me I just froze and looked at him in disbelief. Every once in awhile an event comes along that just knocks you flat.
We've talked with our kids about this terrible situation before, we watched Josh's interview on Dateline, and have followed updates on the case in the news - this morning continued our discussion with the kids about life, death, and choices. My heart especially breaks for Susan's parent's, Chuck and Judy Cox. They are the ones left behind on earth to endure the sadness and heartbreak. Our prayers are with them right now. I know they they will find comfort through our Savior, as He is the only one who knows fully their pain. I know they will find peace in the knowledge that those sweet boys are with Susan in Paradise.
I also know that Josh is in "spirit prison" a.k.a. hell. I'm not saying that with a "glad he got what's coming to him" attitude or vengeful feelings. I don't hate him, Susan's parents didn't hate him, the problem wasn't with them or with Mormons or neighbors or news bias or anyone who was calling it as they saw it - they were trying to help because they could see the danger and sadness of where it was leading and sadly, despite the best efforts of many people, it has come to pass. Josh refused to accept help, correction, or to look in the mirror. He pointed to others as being the ones with the problems. But the problem was with him and he refused to change his actions, and that is what destroyed his family here on earth and will continue to destroy and torment him. I pity him.
Sarah LaNelle Menet talks about spirit prison in her book "There is No Death". I read this book while Corey was in Chile and read chapter 3 with the kids at night, the part where she describes her visit to "hell". A little background - Sarah tried to commit suicide cause her life was miserable. She had had a terrible childhood and was abused by her father, life didn't get better as she grew up and got married and realized she had married an abusive man just like her father, anyway, I won't go into more details, but she didn't believe in heaven or hell, and since she hated life just wanted it to be done and over with, so she took a lot of pills and died. She found herself in a peaceful sort of in-between place for a while, then a deceased relative comes to tell her "you're not supposed to be here, you have to go back" to which she cries and refuses, then she's sucked into a "spirit prison" - it's dark, she hears what she thought at first was tortured animals but then realizes it's people, she feels claustrophobic like she's stuck in a thick heavy goo surrounding her, as she slowly moves around she asked in her mind "Am I in Hell?"
Quoting from the book:
The answer came quickly. No, this is not Hell, exactly. This was a place of temporary confinement for those spirits who had committed acts of evil during their lives on earth and, having not repented of them had to suffer for their choices. Here they suffered a penalty for their sins that would help them understand the broad consequences of evil. People on earth referred to this place as hell because it is so very horrifying, but here they called it spirit prison.
I understood that there were several areas to this spirit prison, and I was in the worst part of this place of sorrow. I was also impressed with the thought that the entire spirit prison was huge. ...
People who had committed heinous, horrible crimes against other human beings were locked into this terrible place where they would for a period of time feel the pain they had inflicted upon others, but that pain was enormously multiplied. They were in an agony beyond mortal comprehension. I also understood that many of those held there were still filled with the hate and anger that had consumed them while upon the earth. I was somehow permitted to feel a small part of their emotions. The desire to murder, inflict pain, and destroy that they felt in their earth lives had remained with them, but they were now prevented from committing those acts because of their spirit nature. I understood that you could not physically hurt a spirit, good or evil.
I asked, How could a loving God put any of His children in a place like this no matter what they had done? The answer came immediately to me: God did not put them in this place. Their own actions drew them here. I then understood that somehow their evil deeds and desires while in mortality caused them to be attracted and pulled to this dreadful fate.
While feeling overwhelmed by my surroundings, something very strange seemed to come over me. I began to feel very badly for them. The strangeness of what I was feeling was the fact that I had never felt sympathy for anyone back on earth. My attitude had always been that it was a dog-eat-dog world, I was going to take care of myself and let everyone else get along the best they could. But here I was feeling sincere empathy and concern for those around me. I wanted to help them in some way, but there was nothing I could do.
Ok, I'll stop there with the quote, continue on page 57 if you get the book. But I will also tell you that while she was in Hell, she stood next to her father, her father who had abused her and who, when he was dying of cancer and asked her to forgive him, she (page 14) "let all the hate pour or of me and I told him that he was responsible for my horrible childhood and the reason I could not function as an adult. I blamed him for every mistake I had ever made. To my utter astonishment, in the middle of my tirade, he held out his arms and asked me to forgive him. What a nerve he had! I said 'I hate you and am so glad you are dying. I am glad that you are in pain and I will never visit your grave'... " She didn't attend his funeral and didn't shed a tear, she thought that now that the nightmare was over, she could make something of her life.
So, I just told that for background, so you'd know her feelings for him, but while she stood next to him in hell, she was able to feel (page 58) "a small part of the pain that he was feeling for the life he lived. It was so completely overwhelming and excruciating that even 22 years after that experience I can still feel the pain my father felt. ... I felt so sorry for my father that I wanted to put my arms around him, perhaps to give him some comfort of understanding that I had forgiven him, but I didn't. Because I couldn't touch him, I just stood there feeling his desire to change what he had done to me. Now he had real sorrow for his choices and the pain he inflicted on others. I realized that he was repenting, but it was excruciatingly painful and slow. It would take a very long time. Once again I realized that we not only feel the pain of what we have personally done in our lives, but we also feel the pain that we have inflicted upon others--from their perspective. The unspeakable regret and torment these spirits were suffering was because of this ability to feel what others feel."
So those are some of the thoughts that have been on my mind this morning after hearing about Josh Powell's actions yesterday. Small bad choices, if not corrected, lead to bigger wrong choices as adults, which for some people lead them to take the lives of their wife and children. My job as a mom is to help my kids learn right and wrong while they are young and the consequences are small. So it breaks my heart that Josh did this. I can't believe it, but how do you reach someone who is so lost? I can't understand it, how a parent could destroy their children. My heart aches as I think of what the boys were thinking and feeling as they burned. Josh is feeling those fears and pains from the perspective of his children, his sweet innocent children. Fears are a lot bigger and worse to kids, I can only imagine, so sad.
Also made me think of Alma 14 - Alma and Amulek preached of Christ and those that believed were burned by the non-believers. Amulek wanted to stop the fire and save them, but (verse 11) "Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgements which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day."
5-year-old Braden and 7-year-old Charlie, they are in Paradise now with their mother, received in glory. Josh was allowed to do this to them according to the hardness of his heart. This was his choice, his action, and God's judgements will be according to His justice and mercy.
We've talked with our kids about this terrible situation before, we watched Josh's interview on Dateline, and have followed updates on the case in the news - this morning continued our discussion with the kids about life, death, and choices. My heart especially breaks for Susan's parent's, Chuck and Judy Cox. They are the ones left behind on earth to endure the sadness and heartbreak. Our prayers are with them right now. I know they they will find comfort through our Savior, as He is the only one who knows fully their pain. I know they will find peace in the knowledge that those sweet boys are with Susan in Paradise.
I also know that Josh is in "spirit prison" a.k.a. hell. I'm not saying that with a "glad he got what's coming to him" attitude or vengeful feelings. I don't hate him, Susan's parents didn't hate him, the problem wasn't with them or with Mormons or neighbors or news bias or anyone who was calling it as they saw it - they were trying to help because they could see the danger and sadness of where it was leading and sadly, despite the best efforts of many people, it has come to pass. Josh refused to accept help, correction, or to look in the mirror. He pointed to others as being the ones with the problems. But the problem was with him and he refused to change his actions, and that is what destroyed his family here on earth and will continue to destroy and torment him. I pity him.Sarah LaNelle Menet talks about spirit prison in her book "There is No Death". I read this book while Corey was in Chile and read chapter 3 with the kids at night, the part where she describes her visit to "hell". A little background - Sarah tried to commit suicide cause her life was miserable. She had had a terrible childhood and was abused by her father, life didn't get better as she grew up and got married and realized she had married an abusive man just like her father, anyway, I won't go into more details, but she didn't believe in heaven or hell, and since she hated life just wanted it to be done and over with, so she took a lot of pills and died. She found herself in a peaceful sort of in-between place for a while, then a deceased relative comes to tell her "you're not supposed to be here, you have to go back" to which she cries and refuses, then she's sucked into a "spirit prison" - it's dark, she hears what she thought at first was tortured animals but then realizes it's people, she feels claustrophobic like she's stuck in a thick heavy goo surrounding her, as she slowly moves around she asked in her mind "Am I in Hell?"
Quoting from the book:
The answer came quickly. No, this is not Hell, exactly. This was a place of temporary confinement for those spirits who had committed acts of evil during their lives on earth and, having not repented of them had to suffer for their choices. Here they suffered a penalty for their sins that would help them understand the broad consequences of evil. People on earth referred to this place as hell because it is so very horrifying, but here they called it spirit prison.
I understood that there were several areas to this spirit prison, and I was in the worst part of this place of sorrow. I was also impressed with the thought that the entire spirit prison was huge. ...
People who had committed heinous, horrible crimes against other human beings were locked into this terrible place where they would for a period of time feel the pain they had inflicted upon others, but that pain was enormously multiplied. They were in an agony beyond mortal comprehension. I also understood that many of those held there were still filled with the hate and anger that had consumed them while upon the earth. I was somehow permitted to feel a small part of their emotions. The desire to murder, inflict pain, and destroy that they felt in their earth lives had remained with them, but they were now prevented from committing those acts because of their spirit nature. I understood that you could not physically hurt a spirit, good or evil.
I asked, How could a loving God put any of His children in a place like this no matter what they had done? The answer came immediately to me: God did not put them in this place. Their own actions drew them here. I then understood that somehow their evil deeds and desires while in mortality caused them to be attracted and pulled to this dreadful fate.
While feeling overwhelmed by my surroundings, something very strange seemed to come over me. I began to feel very badly for them. The strangeness of what I was feeling was the fact that I had never felt sympathy for anyone back on earth. My attitude had always been that it was a dog-eat-dog world, I was going to take care of myself and let everyone else get along the best they could. But here I was feeling sincere empathy and concern for those around me. I wanted to help them in some way, but there was nothing I could do.
Ok, I'll stop there with the quote, continue on page 57 if you get the book. But I will also tell you that while she was in Hell, she stood next to her father, her father who had abused her and who, when he was dying of cancer and asked her to forgive him, she (page 14) "let all the hate pour or of me and I told him that he was responsible for my horrible childhood and the reason I could not function as an adult. I blamed him for every mistake I had ever made. To my utter astonishment, in the middle of my tirade, he held out his arms and asked me to forgive him. What a nerve he had! I said 'I hate you and am so glad you are dying. I am glad that you are in pain and I will never visit your grave'... " She didn't attend his funeral and didn't shed a tear, she thought that now that the nightmare was over, she could make something of her life.
So, I just told that for background, so you'd know her feelings for him, but while she stood next to him in hell, she was able to feel (page 58) "a small part of the pain that he was feeling for the life he lived. It was so completely overwhelming and excruciating that even 22 years after that experience I can still feel the pain my father felt. ... I felt so sorry for my father that I wanted to put my arms around him, perhaps to give him some comfort of understanding that I had forgiven him, but I didn't. Because I couldn't touch him, I just stood there feeling his desire to change what he had done to me. Now he had real sorrow for his choices and the pain he inflicted on others. I realized that he was repenting, but it was excruciatingly painful and slow. It would take a very long time. Once again I realized that we not only feel the pain of what we have personally done in our lives, but we also feel the pain that we have inflicted upon others--from their perspective. The unspeakable regret and torment these spirits were suffering was because of this ability to feel what others feel."
So those are some of the thoughts that have been on my mind this morning after hearing about Josh Powell's actions yesterday. Small bad choices, if not corrected, lead to bigger wrong choices as adults, which for some people lead them to take the lives of their wife and children. My job as a mom is to help my kids learn right and wrong while they are young and the consequences are small. So it breaks my heart that Josh did this. I can't believe it, but how do you reach someone who is so lost? I can't understand it, how a parent could destroy their children. My heart aches as I think of what the boys were thinking and feeling as they burned. Josh is feeling those fears and pains from the perspective of his children, his sweet innocent children. Fears are a lot bigger and worse to kids, I can only imagine, so sad.
Also made me think of Alma 14 - Alma and Amulek preached of Christ and those that believed were burned by the non-believers. Amulek wanted to stop the fire and save them, but (verse 11) "Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgements which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day."
5-year-old Braden and 7-year-old Charlie, they are in Paradise now with their mother, received in glory. Josh was allowed to do this to them according to the hardness of his heart. This was his choice, his action, and God's judgements will be according to His justice and mercy.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Surprise Surprise!
Corey's been in Chile for two weeks. He was scheduled to arrive home tomorrow around 11 a.m....
Or so I thought
.
.
.
Here is what I learned this morning as we were chatting online:
me: are you in the air right now?
* so when I said "today is Feb 3rd" my immediate brain thought/vent was "WHAT?!?! Oh great!!! He was supposed to go to the airport yesterday but he didn't look at his itinerary until today and if he would have looked at it before and emailed it to me earlier he would have noticed that he had to leave chile on FEB 2nd to arrive back here TODAY on Feb 3rd and now he probably won't get home until SUNDAY and AHHHHH!!!!!
But when he said "well can you pick me up in an hour then" I knew he planned this surprise for me and what a fun surprise! He came home early! (My love language is quality time, so having more time with him than I thought, well that's just the best surprise he could give me!) That gave me such a smile and boost of oxytocin that I'll probably be in a good mood the whole month.
:) !!!!!! Hooray for a fun husband who knows how to make me smile!!!
Or so I thought
.
.
.
Here is what I learned this morning as we were chatting online:
8:56 AM Corey: I love you sweetie
8:57 AM you there?
me: hi sweetheart.
yes,
how are you?
Corey: I'm in love with you - how are you?
me: good, can I call you?
8:58 AM Corey: no, I can't talk - the internet is not good where I'm at
but I'm excited to see you soon
did I ever send you my itinerary?
me: no
Corey: you still want it?
me: yes please
Corey: one moment sweetie
will be great to see you soon
me: Yes, I've missed you
Corey: I missed you too
too long of a trip
me: I'll be right back
xoxo
Corey: wait!? where did you go?
9:02 AM me: sorry
Corey: ok -
hey, it says my flight gets in Feb 3, 2012 - 10:19 AM
9:03 AM me: today is feb 3rd (see * at end of this post)
Corey: oh - well
then can you pick me up today?
(pause on my end as I realized the surprise...)
(pause on my end as I realized the surprise...)
me: are you in the air right now?
Corey: if not, tomorrow works
9:04 AM yes, I'm crossing into new mexico a the moment
me: YOU ARE CRAZY!!!!!!!
ARE you serious?!
Corey: CRAZY!??!
why crazy?
crazy to change my flight just to be with you sooner?
me: you're going to be home in an hour??!?!
Corey: 1:13 minutes
me: Ok, you just put the biggest smile on my face
You are awesome
Corey: I LOVE YOU!!!!!
me: Well, I better go shower then!
Corey: excited to see you
9:05 AM well, you can come get me, right?
me: but the house is a wreck, I was going to clean the house tonight...
I'm not ready!!!
Corey: well, you just gotta always be ready
me: well this is fun,
ok then, You are amazing, thanks for the surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9:06 AM Ah, I get it... last night you said "I'm not going to be available tonight..." now I get it. I thought it was a social gathering
Corey: nope - just boarding the plane
me: well, you just keep up with these surprises and I'll try to keep not expecting it
love you!
Ok, see you soon!
Corey: I LOVE YOU!!!
I'm just glad your happy to see me - Gabriel said you might be busy with someone else.
me: haha
9:08 AM always busy but just with the kids
Corey: ok - well I'm excited to see you
it says 1:09 minutes until at destination
9:10 AM me: I just told Abi we're gonna go get you, then she said "He's coming home now? hehehe! I can't wait!"
so you're in the plane over New Mexico or in New Mexico on a layover?
Corey: I'll get some candy/treats at the airport
9:11 AM sorry to have had to leave you again
out there trying to "do stuff"
see you soon!
Time to Destination: 1:08
me: ok!we'll get ready
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
* so when I said "today is Feb 3rd" my immediate brain thought/vent was "WHAT?!?! Oh great!!! He was supposed to go to the airport yesterday but he didn't look at his itinerary until today and if he would have looked at it before and emailed it to me earlier he would have noticed that he had to leave chile on FEB 2nd to arrive back here TODAY on Feb 3rd and now he probably won't get home until SUNDAY and AHHHHH!!!!!
But when he said "well can you pick me up in an hour then" I knew he planned this surprise for me and what a fun surprise! He came home early! (My love language is quality time, so having more time with him than I thought, well that's just the best surprise he could give me!) That gave me such a smile and boost of oxytocin that I'll probably be in a good mood the whole month.
:) !!!!!! Hooray for a fun husband who knows how to make me smile!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
