Passing the Baton

As I've said before, Ethan was a teacher at the MTC for 3 years. His last day, July 15, which was 5 years to the day that he was set apart as a missionary. 2 years as a missionary and 3 years teaching at the MTC followed. That's a lot of service to gathering Israel! He gave some of his lessons to our kids when he was home visiting. He has a natural gift to be a teacher, he's very engaging, much like Corey is when he shares stories. Good job Ethan. Since he stopped teaching in July, he's been working on finishing a book of all the things he learned as a missionary and as a MTC teacher. The book is now finished! He emailed it to me on August 19. He's titled it THE BATON: ULTIMATE MISSIONARY ADVICE BASED UPON EXPERIENCES FROM THE MISSION OF ELDER WRIDE. On his last day at the MTC, he went around to any rooms and districts where he could get in, and said if any missionaries wanted a link to it, when he was finished with it, to write down their email address. He got an email recently of one of the missionaries that he didn't teach, but who just wrote down their address, telling him thank you for his words of advice. Below: 

Hello, I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I was in hermana Hacock’s class and you stopped in. I am so glad I wrote my email on that board. I am living with Elder Millard and I was like you guys need to read this! And Elder Millard got all excited and said that’s my MTC teacher!! It was such a cool connection. Anyways it has been a little tough at the beginning of the mission. You said the best, there are times where it feels like it will never end. I am settled in and liking it now.

  I just wanted to thank you for this. It is absolutely amazing. I have read it three times already and it has changed my mission already. It is so comforting and just gives me so many ideas! Seriously thank you. 

  This was an answer to my prayers! 

  God bless!

  Elder Bell

He gets emails like that now and then and he's grateful for them. I've sent a link to it to the missionaries serving from our ward. Here again is a link to The Baton. Ethan sent it out with this note:

Missionaries - 
  When I click "send" on this email, I will officially have passed the baton off to you guys.
  I'm sorry it's taken so long to send this out. I've been working hard to make sure it has everything I can think of that will help you.
  Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions. I'm sure I'll revise it later on and will take any feedback.
  I'm attaching a PDF and the direct link to the document. Use whichever is easier to read.
  Good luck. I'm very sad that my part of the race has ended. I'm genuinely jealous of you all. Don't waste this sacred time.
- Hermano Wride

Ethan's hopes in compiling all these thoughts, scriptures, stories, and experiences that helped him on his mission was in hopes that missionaries starting their missions wouldn't starting from square one. They don't need to invent the wheel, but they can take what other missionaries have learned and run with it. Build upon their shoulders. Ethan asked us for feedback and if we had anything to contribute. I don't remember if I sent anything. One quote that helped me on my mission though, was a Winston Churchill quote. The lady in our ward who made a monthly newsletter, sent one to each of the missionaries from our ward. On a hard day, when a lady we were teaching left her Book of Mormon in a bag on her door handle with a note to not come back, there was a quote in that newsletter that helped me. "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." Yes, I was sad. Yes, it was natural to be discouraged, but I would fight that feeling and would try to continue on with no loss of my enthusiasm for Christ, for His Church, or for His gospel. It is true, so what else matters? Oh, I just looked up the quote, google shows it a little different than I remember. 

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

So, good job Ethan. That is a treasure to be sure. Good job being a historian and documenter of things like your mom! You will be remembered. (that's another quote...)

"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.”

― Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack May 1738

Ok! Well that took me a while to write. We had two butterflies emerge today. 

Lily wearing them as earrings -

September starts tomorrow! I can't believe it's almost autumn.

Legos & Climbing

The last two days have been full of legos and climbing. The next princess in need of a castle is Elsa. Yesterday Peter started on Elsa's castle and here's what he had finished tonight to show his siblings. 

Pretty good - 

We have a lot of pieces that look like they are from a real set, so yesterday I googled it and I found what I think is the set that the girls probably got... I started making that today. We'll use Peter's castle in the mean time until I need a piece from his castle. Like my Aurora castle, the ones I make up just aren't as strong as the legos instructions make them. I'm not yet a lego master. Hyrum could probably do it on his own, but not me or Peter. But we were busy all day playing legos. Cute Katharine likes that we're building all these legos for her!

I loved these "snowcones" the kids made in Rapunzel's house, so creative! A colored diamond piece in a cup. 

We need to do a real tower for Rapunzel sometime. Peter and Katharine have been the most studious lego creators.

Yesterday was more of the same, only K is in a different dress. 

I think I enjoy sorting legos by color the most. Feels therapeutic. I did some squats and stretching as I played legos with Katharine. Last night I was hoping we'd go climb for date night, but then date night didn't happen cause all our girls were gone (AL at Skyline football game, SN to Scofield) so Corey and I took ODPK climbing at Millcreek. Belayed kids, then did a few boulders. I love love love little kid's tiny climbing shoes! You're so cute Katharine!

She's big, she's brave, she's beautiful!

But once she gets up on the wall... ahh! This is high and scary!

Today I did a double header to make up for not getting in much climbing last night. First Corey and I did Clarks & Rush. We started at 7:36 and we had to beat the sunset so I was going fast (plus I felt antsy cause I had wanted to go for a few hours) and I got 4 PRs! Pretty sunset sky ~

We got home, I gave P a haircut, DPK a bath, then out for quick bouldering at Ft Union Momentum with Lily. She couldn't do this green V3, dared me to try it, so I did, and I got it first try! First try today, I have tried this before and I don't think I got it. 

I also showed her how I do "races" in the kid area. The kid area was all new today, so that was fun.

My First Butterfly

There have been a lot of butterflies emerge that I gave to Terry, but today I had my first butterfly come out! It's a male. K looks so cute and happy holding the pretty insect.

My favorite part of raising butterflies is when the kids get to hold them. It's magical for them, you can see it on their faces. 

The butterflies look cuter on them than on me. 

They look pretty on flowers!

I'm not sure how many photos of butterflies on flowers I need though. I enjoy watching them successfully emerge and fly away. 

This morning I woke up and put $ under Peter's bed for his tooth, I have such a hard time remembering to do that! Then the kids wake up and are disappointed when they see their tooth still there. Who started that game? Shouldn't be a big deal, except for when you're already feeling stretched beyond your limit. I went bouldering at Millcreek this morning, total 30 sent. Then 7pm ride in Corner Canyon, Ann's and Rush trees, 6.78 miles in 56 min. I got 5 PRs, oh yeah, three of which were: 

• PR Clarks bridge to top of Anns trail 3.24, 31:16
• PR Ann's Trail 2.24 miles, 19:21
• PR top of ann's .84 miles in 6:50

(it helps when I'm racing the sun!)

Corey's working late tonight, he is taking some practice programming test because he has an interview tomorrow and will take a programming test there. He said he feels like he's back in school. 

Aurora's Castle

Not much going on around here other than me and Katharine playing legos. This morning I finished making Aurora's castle. I'm quite proud of it. I knew Katharine approved when she asked to change her clothes and put on the pink Aurora dress.

Isn't that a good castle?!?! The construction of the floors isn't very solid, but I'm pleased with the symmetry and balance, and I like the towers and the little pink arches. 

Pretty fun! Easy to keep a little girl pleased if you keep it pink!

It wasn't very comfortable so she took it off shortly thereafter, but I'm glad I got a picture of all the pinkness. We had some oatmeal for lunch, and Katharine was cute being silly.

I hope she is so happy because I've been spending time playing with her. 

Her friend Peter is in school, so she's my #1 right now and takes priority over me cleaning or blogging. Once the kids get home from school, I can take a break. Today after they were home I left for a 3:00 pm ride up the canyon. I got back in time to clean up and make a salad for the Salad social with the neighborhood ladies. I enjoyed the salads and also plenty of cookies, cakes and brownies. My caterpillars are doing well. Have one chrysalis turning dark, will come out tomorrow.

Lost Tooth & Ridiculous

Peter lost another tooth today. 

He lost it at school and was glad about that, cause that meant he got a little extra attention AND he got a tooth necklace!

And here is what he wore to school today. 

I didn't notice anything out of line this morning... When I saw him after school, I thought he was wearing our costume Peter Pan leggings, but no, these are just green soccer socks, which he pulled up over his legs and over his shorts sometime during the day. I didn't notice the green socks this morning because of his cowboy boots. I would have let him wear the socks. I would not have told him to NOT pull them up over his whole leg, cause I wouldn't have thought of doing that. I hope he wasn't wearing them all day like that, it looks a bit ridiculous. 

A few other things got ridiculous today too. Corey had his car working at his dads, then he went down to BYU to do mock interviews for students to give them feedback. He saw the new Sandbox area at Nuskin, where Ethan will be spending his time for the next few years in the Sanbox Program. He said it's nice and that's he's excited for Ethan. Today was Ethan's first day. Then Corey went and picked up his bike which needed new rotors, which we don't have $ for, but Corey charged it, cause he feels like he needs to exercise. On his way back, he said he was coming home but still needed to work, and asked me to slip some food into his office. I said I would make dinner after I took Daniel to karate. We went out to the van, and it was gone. I fogot that I had told Abi she could take it and go to the temple. Ahhh, so we hopped on our bikes and Daniel and I rode down to Karate. 3 miles, 21 minutes. I rode back home and knew I'd have a car when he was done to pick him and his bike up. 

A quick bike ride was good for my mental health, cause I was mad at our situation. When I got back home, I mowed the lawn and my feelings of frustration continued. I wish we could afford to have someone come and help take care of our yard. OR that we managed ourselves and our kids well enough  that WE took care of it, like every Saturday evening or something. I mowed around our sad mailbox and these thoughts continued. I said over a year ago that our mailbox, I felt, was a visual representation of our precarious financial situation. I still feel that way. Today it got a little bit worse. The door to the mailbox is gone. 

It's still standing though. So stupid, this sad mailbox and sad situation we are in. I'm mad that I don't always have a car, Abi usually has it at school or Lyceum or her flute lesson, blah. Even when I do have the van, I'm mad about how it shakes and the poor condition it is in. It needs a new windshield. (Forgive me for sharing these "I feel mad about this" emotions that pop up every now and then. I usually try to keep my complaints and murmuring quiet, but they were a little louder today, and I know they will pass, but I thought I should record them for history's sake). Corey was feeling the same way today. "This is ridiculous." Without his permission, but for our family history's sake of the reality of our life, I now share a few slightly edited transcriptions of voice messages he sent to me today. 

"I’m struggling because I am I’m feeling a bit of resentment. We are out of money. I don’t know that I can pay the rest of the bills in the next week or so I just sent ____ a text. I am kind of resentful of this whole thing. I just paid another bill for a credit card for this business to move forward, but I am struggling here because I’m feeling like I should not do this. I’ve got some bills due the next couple days that I can’t make. We’ll see if he is able to deliver. I don’t know what I’ve got myself into sweetheart. Is it the right choice? I feel resentful because like I don’t even know when I’m gonna get paid, I've got so many other expenses. I’m kind of resenting this. I went to the temple for guidance this morning, and my take away from the temple was that I gotta pay Rafael. I have used money that I should have used to pay Rafale to pay Yuri and pay for household stuff so I borrowed another $3000 to pay Raphael, $3600 for another business purchase... I spent $7000 today, all borrowed, and I don’t wanna do this anymore. I’m not saying this to stress you out but this is dumb. I don’t think it makes any sense. I don’t wanna be that buy that doens't pay people so I’m like I gotta pay Rafael. He’s probably praying for it and I don’t like this.

I'm feeling resentment and anger today. I mean, can I go in more debt? Yeah I can. I don’t know that I should. I mean I’m glad when I atleast get a text message back... ugh, it's ridiculous. I think I’m too quick to play a martyr. I'm trying to be a good guy, trying to save the day. Like years ago when ____ wanted to this 3-D math game, he gave me some money and I felt like Ok, I got to deliver on this, so I put another bunch of money into it to sort of pay off my debt to him and to show good faith and he just totally blew me off. I don't like being the only one who seems to care. I'm always hustling, like back at the ____ group, too like this pattern behavior I keep showing. Trying to be all in and show faith and then get left holding the bag. That’s that’s the pattern that I feel that I’ve seen is that. I try to show good faith and I’m stupid enough to believe them and then I left holding the bag and I’m trying to prove myself with technology to show him that I can do it and I did it and they’re not even interested. That's what it boils down I think

This is stupid and I say that I’m doing this for the greater long-term good part of my mission life and I have nothing to show for it. But maybe he'll bring a check over and then I feel like I should keep going, that I should lean more into it cause I’m grateful. So I want to honor that good faith but then I’ll just be in the same position a month later on. I don’t know. So I've only had this feeling today that I better pay Raphael. I’m can’t wait, I'm behind on invoices so I borrowed money to pay. I don’t know. I’m just mad for this point. I can’t live my life and continue with crisis mode. It’s not good for me.

So those were my thoughts too as I mowed the lawn - .72 miles walking in 26 minutes. We often feel like we are in a similar predicament as Ernest Shackleton, though obviously less urgent, as we have land under our feet, sunshine, and survivable temperatures. And Corey said today that we are out of penguins, we need more penguins, and I'm thinking, NO... we need to get off of this stupid ice flow! We need to get out of Antartica!!! How do we get out of this situation???? Some similar thoughts I had from 2014 (over 10 years later and we're still here...) "Near-debilitating anxiety" yeah, that sounds accurate:

"Good article on the mentality of an entrepreneur here, and I totally love this picture from that same post, I think it's an accurate representation...

"... many of those entrepreneurs harbor secret demons: Before they made it big, they struggled through moments of near-debilitating anxiety and despair--times when it seemed everything might crumble. It's like a man riding a lion. People think, 'This guy's brave.' And he's thinking, 'How the hell did I get on a lion, and how do I keep from getting eaten?"

Cinderella's Castle

I have been "playing legos" with Katharine for a few days. My mission was to make Cinderella's castle once again. I've been working on it for a few days and it's mostly done now. 

It's quite a bit more challenging when the pieces aren't presented there in front of you. So over the past few days I've mostly been working on the gathering, and I looked up the instructions on my phone (we've misplaced 2 of the 5 instruction booklets) and just made it until I couldn't find the next piece or a close enough substitute for it. Our bedroom is still the main lego play area. I need to figure out something else. Katharine's room is currently not available, cause Lily has had it torn apart for a week with plans to paint the walls (a bad idea Corey gave the girls a few weeks ago). Before painting, you gotta take stuff down (check) and then wash it. They haven't gotten to the washing yet, but it's ready and waiting to be washed. Lily has boxed up her stuff and shoved it all in Sophi and Natlaie's room, so there's no room in there for K to play either. And I don't like the basement (too dark, not enough natural light) so while I'd like our bedroom to be a safe haven for Corey and I, it is still currently the play room for me and my little friend. 

I still need to finish the horse gate on the bottom left side of the castle but I did pretty good. Owen helped me. There was one blue arch piece that I was looking for ALL weekend and then yesterday I asked Owen for help and he seriously found it in less than 2 minutes. And it was in the blue bin, which I swear I looked through like 20 times. Amazing. Katharine and Peter made a castle for Ariel, and here's Rapunzel's castle, I helped with that one, but it's not stable. We should look up the instructions. K's got all the princesses and princes lined up ready for something.

Eric going in for a kiss, haha

It was cute to hear her little voice as she played. 

Wayne came over for dinner yesterday. Rice, orange chicken (for our 2nd day in a row, we had it Saturday with the missionaries) and Corey made his signature tapioca pudding.

I invited my parents too, but she said they had a linger longer after church so they weren't hungry. Next Sunday is the last day of their service mission. Yesterday Lily and I watched "Miss Potter" with Wayne while everyone else disappeared to take naps I guess? Then around 7pm the kids were up and headed out to go around the neighborhood for the last walkabout of the season. I stayed home and read the Sept Liahona while Corey continued his nap. He was recovering from our late interruption last night when Abi knocked on our door at 11pm and asked if she could take the car to go to her friends house, cause some guys had just called Tara asking if they could come. We told her no for 30 minutes, which she did not take for an answer, and then at 11:30 she was on her way with our reluctant "we don't think it's a good idea but whatever". Corey was teasingly giving her a hard time all day about how tired he was. Yesterday Natalie also got Katharine all dressed up. We thought she looked so grown up!

Still little, but older, like she's ready for kindergarten.

She knew we all thought she looked cute. 

We played Charades tonight for FHE. Corey printed up papers with words for different categories: food, movies, action, animals. It was cute seeing the kids play. 

Their only exposure to charades up until now was probably when Elsa Anna Kristoff and Olaf play it in Frozen 2. Most of the time we were able to guess it - it's pretty easy to do "soccer" "elephant" "ice cream" etc, even for the little kids, so it was good. Katharine kept shouting out "Isabella!" from Encanto and any other princess words she knew, so that was funny, she's cute. 

Secret Spot

I'm glad I did a ride last night cause I was pretty sure I'd end up taking carpool this morning, which I did. After Abi got home, I went to Costco cause I found/remembered we had our cashback check, so I used that to get some groceries for feeding the missionaries today and an Aubergine gift card for date night, yay. (I also bought some Dubai Chocolates, which I shouldn't have bought...I've already had too many). Tonight we went to the Draper Aubergine, which is the one we usually go to. I got the Vitality bowl, which was very good, Corey got the Tri Tip Madiera, and we got a brownie layers too. After eating we went climbing at the Ft. Union momentum, and I'm pleased to report that I did that Red 5.11b as my 3rd route and today was the first time I got it with no stops or rests and without cheating/having to grab an easier hold to continue. I was very happy with myself that I got it! I can get 5.10cs no problem, I'm about half and half on 5.10d's, and we're getting to where we try 5.11a's, but this was the first 5.11b I've been able to send. 

We forgot to plan on date night last night (we got talking politics and shaking our heads at the world) but it was another Aug Saturday of cleaning the chapel, then Corey took Owen to his soccer game. I was going to take Peter, but he stayed home sick yesterday, saying his tummy hurt. The only thing he ate yesterday was an apple, and he threw that up last night. I woke up at 6 am to find him happy and feeling better and playing in his room. I didn't know he had thrown up until the kids showed me later. He slept on our loveseat last night and I was glad I had put towels on the floor around him. A little bit got on the carpet, but it wasn't bad, phew! I would have been sad if he had made a mess on the carpet. I was glad he was feeling better, but knew he wouldn't have energy to play soccer since he hardly ate anything yesterday, so he stayed home and we played legos like all day again. I'm still trying to make Cinderella's castle that K got for her birthday. It's a lot harder to do when they don't put all the pieces in front of you. The gathering is the tricky part! 

So with cleaning the church and soccer, I didn't go on a ride this morning. I didn't go on an afternoon ride cause we were feeding the missionaries at 4:30. We had orange chicken. One Elder from Soldotna, Alaska, the other from Redlands, California. 

Natalie made cupcakes, which she put in the oven before the orange chicken. Her temp was 350, I put in the chicken but it needed 400 degrees, so then the chicken wasn't ready when they came and they had to wait a bit, which I felt sorry for. Natalie's cupcakes were tasty. She's a good little baker of sweets. She has a real sweet tooth too, gets it from me. 

Corey took Natalie on a "Daddy daughter date" tonight, but she had wanted a "Daddy Daughter DAY" and I said no, just a date, NOT the whole day!!! They just went where the wind blew them, ended up going down town and riding scooters around.

Then they got ice cream at City Creek.

Then they went to Target and Corey bought her two shirts. 

They were gone for over 3 hours. While they were gone, I left Sophi in charge and I went on a walk/hike to my secret spot on the moraine. I think the dates with dad is a good thing, and if I were to set policy, I'd say that after they have a date with Corey, the following Saturday morning they get "Mornings with Mom" where I get to take them up on the mountains on a hike or something boring like that. So Natalie, you're up next Saturday morning! I'll take her to my boulder.

This boulder is my secret spot. Shhh don't tell anyone. 

Most people are on the main trail behind me that you can see slightly behind me, that goes to the reservoir, and I like that too, but I like going up to this boulder. It is curved like a spoon and kinda cradles you if you lay down in it, which I did. It was nice to look up at the sky and breath and relaxed as the wind blew around me. 

So we survived the first week of school. Music and chores didn't go so great, neither did dishes, folding clothes, or cleaning bedrooms, but we're all alive so that means we get to try again, yay. 

Abi Has the Van

Abi has been taking the van to school a lot. Tuesdays she needs is for her flute lesson, Wednesday for Lyceum, and Friday for carpool. She's not taking carpool tomorrow cause she has to be there early for "senior sunrise" so she'll have the car anyway and I'll be taking carpool probably. But I did have it today, and since I did, I went and bought a bike trailer for myself so that Katharine and I will have some freedom when I don't have a car. I got it from the KSL classified from someone in Eagle Mountain for $80 bucks. Driving out there felt like entering a very different city and place with it's very desert landscape. Kinda fun to go out there and see it. The trailer we got is a yellow "Kidarooz" trailer, and seems pretty good. The trailer we used to have was all ripped on the seat and on the straps holding the seat to the trailer frame. I probably could have tried to fix it, but in an impulsive moment I got rid of  it  with the bulk clean up I think in 2023.  We still have the shotgun seat (pic 2), but I'm too short for that, or Katharine is too big... I can hardly see over her, and if I move up my seat to see over, I'm so high that I can't touch the ground and then I'm worried about tipping over and making her fall and get hurt. Plus  on the shotgun seat she gets tired and fall asleep, and I'm not as talented as Corey at holding her while I ride so a trailer would be better for her when she's sleepy (pic 12). K and I tested it out the new one by biking to the bus stop after school. It was hard to get up the street, harder than I thought. So now I'm not sure about biking to my mom's house, cause the hills going there are legit hills, not the slightly sloped street we live on. But I'll try that ride sometime before winter I'm sure. 

There are still legos all over the floor. Katharine has been keeping herself entertained in there, and Peter joins her in play after he gets home from school.

And since she's entertained and the kids are home, I used that as my longer exercise time. I can do something in the morning if it's around an hour. Since we renewed our Momentum membership on Monday, I went bouldering yesterday morning for 45 minutes. (The moon and Jupiter and Venus looked AMAZING!) Got to Momentum and did 11 boulders while I was there, but wasn't quite feeling it, so did my copout for something challenging but not stressful and did a kid area race, and I got R>L on the first try! Then did it two more times and didn't get those either. This morning there was no carpool for us, so while Corey was still home, I left for a hike from the 1st bridge to the end of techy. About 80 minutes. Corey was on his way up the canyon when I got back home. I decided to do a ride this evening, at the end of a 24 hour fast, and I did and wasn't too slow considering the fasting. The Alta biking team was up there (lots of shirts said Alta), lots of people, so had to pause a few times for them to pass or waiting for them, still good ride. Pleased to say that I got the 2nd bridge rocks again, that's my 3rd time in a row! Weigh 139.8 after the ride, yay. I've been in the 140s like this whole year so glad to get it under for a moment, even if just barely. 

Oh, and guess what I learned last night while reading Saints to Owen~ Joseph Smith had a younger sister named Katharine - with the same spelling as our little Katharine!! I felt justified before Ethan, who every now and then still expresses disappointment in her name. 

And Joseph's sibling Katharine was three years old in the chapter we read - just like our little princess.