Wesley wrote a letter to Hyrum this week. It is something he shared during fast and testimony meeting on Sunday. Last month I put a little bit of what he's shared with us during scriptures but Corey encouraged him to write it down, so here it is in his own words. I asked if it was ok for me to put it here for family history too, and he said yes.
"I just thought I'd share a recent spiritual experience that I had.
"So, I've shared this a few times, with mom, dad, the bishop, joe, mel, ethan, for testimony meeting, and I plan on sharing it in seminary when I am supposed to share a spiritual message. This was an experience that had a lot that went into it, so I apologize if this email seems really messy, or if my thoughts seem jumbled or out of order. I will do my best to recount my memories to their most accurate form.
"It all started to take form when the Stake decided to reinstate the stake youth council. This was something that they hadn't done for a long long time, because there didn't really seem to be a use for it. They weren't doing anything. For whatever reason, they decided to start it back up again, and so for our stake, they needed one young woman, and one young man from each ward. The bishop recommended me to the stake youth council. So the week before the stake conference, the first counselor, President Osborne, asked to meet with me, and said that Dad could come along as well. Dad and I met with him that day, and when we sat down, he said "How would you like to speak in Stake Conference?" I was like, "uuuhhhh" and he said, just kidding. He actually wanted to ask me to be a part of the new stake youth council. I said I wasn't sure what it was, and he said that it's new, so it'll be weird for everyone, but they felt strongly that it was something we should do. He needed a response then, because there was supposed to be a stake youth council meeting that day at 2 or 3 pm, I can't remember. I reluctantly said Yes, because I know president Osborne pretty well (we're both hockey buddies), and Dad was right there, and I knew the Bishop would hear about it eventually. I did not want any of them to be disappointed, so I said yes to avoid that. I realize my reasons for saying yes were not good reasons, and so in the weeks after that, I felt really guilty and thought of telling the stake presidency that I had to step down.
"I did not confront them about my situation, and chose to stick around a little while. Then I missed a youth council meeting due to a family Christmas party, and then got an email about a youth responsibility coming up. We were to be divided into 2 groups, and have sort of a Q&A session with the youth in different wards in the stake, about the new For the Strength of Youth handbook. I was put in group 2, but had no idea what I was doing, because I missed the meeting with all the explanations. I was confused, but when the first group showed up to teach the Granite Ridge ward, our ward, I decided to join their group as well as my own, because I was a member of the stake youth council, and wanted to join them in teaching my ward. Plus, I know our ward better than any of them did, because none of them attend our ward. Everyone was very tense and nervous about doing it, because we were supposed to answer questions the youth had about the FSY handbook, and about the church in general. Although, it actually went surprisingly smoothly, and it was a good experience for me. I was able to hear answers to questions I had, and had an opportunity to slow down, and articulate thoughts I had, and things I knew about the gospel.
"After the session was over, I was reminded that I had to stick around for the 2nd hour of the second ward, because I was actually a part of that group. I showed up for the second group, and we did the same thing. Some of the questions were different, because the youth were different, and each person is going through something different. During these two Q&A sessions, I was able to see how the gospel answers so many questions, questions that a lot of people struggle with in the world. The type of questions that halt their progression, or lead to life altering choices. I was also able to gain a testimony of Luke 2:52. "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." This is the scripture the church uses when emphasizing the importance of improving in the 4 categories, which are spiritual, social, intellectual, and physical.
"Now I am going to talk about hockey for a little bit. Hockey was/is, my main physical activity that I like to participate, along with rock climbing, although at this time, hockey was the biggest thing for me. As you may know, I played for Brighton High School's Hockey team, and I played for them for 2 seasons. My first season, the beginning of my short High School Hockey career was in my junior year, during the 1 trimester that I attended Brighton High School. I showed up to tryouts with literally 0 experience, and was by far the worst player on the team. I only made it because there aren't enough hockey players in utah, and everyone makes the team. I was placed on JV. My first season, my main focus was to keep up with everyone else, and maybe possibly reach their level. I basically reached the average level of JV players by the end of the season. For my second season, all I wanted to do was score a goal. And so I would go down into the basement and shoot on the net for hours, and stickhandle, etc. I was practicing so that when I was in a game, I could have a chance at scoring a goal. At the beginning of the season, I was on the 4th line, the last line, playing wing. This basically the position they put you in when you suck. Over time, I gradually made it to the 3rd line, and even played on the 2nd line a few times. After one game, my hockey coaches pulled me aside, and said something along the lines of "hey, we're sorry we didn't put you out there as much as you would've liked. It was a rough game, and we needed our best players out there. But if you keep working hard, by the end of the season we'll be putting you out there when we need to win. By the end of the season you will have scored 2 goals. And even if you don't you've got 3 years after this season to score lots of goals." hahah, they thought I was a freshman. I told them that I was a senior, so this was actually my last season, and they apologized, but it's cool, it's totally understandable. Anyways, I would show up to every monday 5 am practice ready to go, and I would play my hardest, but my best just wasn't quite where I needed to be. And every game I would be praying beforehand, saying "heavenly father, please help me get a goal, it's all I want." and every game I would go home disappointed because no matter how close I got, something would happen, and I'd fail every game. I remember one instance, the goalie was down, trying to get the puck, and then the puck ended up on my stick. I had the whole net to myself, the goalie was out of the way, but then I caught an edge, and fell. The net was wide open, the opportunity was there, but I failed. But then things changed.
"It was Sophie's first visit to the temple, and Dad, Mel, Abi, Lily, Sophie and I all went together. This was my first time at the temple in a while, and I didn't feel like I should be there. I was going through some things, and wasn't taking the sacrament, or blessing it because I felt, and still think I was unworthy. When we were driving home, Dad asked me if I wanted to go on a mission, and I said "I do not want to go on a mission, but I want to want to." Then he made me a promise, that if I would go to the temple regularly, about once a week, I would be willing, and wanting to go on my mission when the time comes for me to go. Then in seminary the next day, I saw a sign saying "WEEKLY BAPTISMS FOR THE DEAD" with a QR code. "SCAN QR CODE TO SIGN UP! APPOINTMENTS ARE MADE WEEKLY :)". I was like, well, there's the answer. I can't pretend I didn't see it, and so I took a picture, and have been going every week since then. One thing started to change, that I thought was interesting.
"It was a Monday morning, I woke up at 4:25 to go to the 5 am practice, and I got up for my first alarm. I showed up to practice, and on the ice, I was playing a lot better than I normally did. Coach Jason said "Wow, you're on fire today!" I was skating harder than before, I was happier than before, and I was enjoying every second of it. Then we were doing a 3 on 2 drill. Both of the coaches were playing defense, and Ethan, Ivie (both players on the team) and I were on offense, trying to score on them. The net had this thing on it we call the shooter tooter. It's a big sheet that covers the whole net, except the 4 corners, and a tiny space in the center. We were passing the puck around, trying to get a shot, and I was at the top of the left circle. Ethan passed it to me, and I was far away from the net. I had never taken a shot that far, but I took it anyways. The puck flew into the top left corner of the net, which is the ideal spot to score on, and coach Jason lost his mind. He was like "OOOHHH, THAT SHOT WAS INSANE, have you been practicing?" I hadn't. He then said something that stuck with me "Whatever you're doing, keep doing it it, cuz it's working." The only thing that had changed, was that I was no longer shooting in the basement. The only time that I spent on anything hockey was at practice or at games. I had made less time for hockey, and more time for school, the temple, and meeting people (on dates, or social events). I was confused, how could less time practicing make me better? Anyways, I chose to keep it up.
"I think it was the same week, but we had another one of those Q&A sessions on a Sunday for the stake youth council, and so this was how that Sunday went. Woke up at 8, took a cold shower, got to church at 8:30, set up the sacrament. 9:00, I blessed the sacrament. 9:30ish, I left church, to go to another ward for the Q&A. 11:30ish, I went back to my home ward to do home sacrament. 1ish, I went to another ward to do another Q&A session, because they were short on people. This Q&A session was especially scary, because they asked harder questions then the other groups, like "If I (a girl) kiss a girl, am I going to hell?" and "If I (a woman) marry a woman, I can't go to the temple, but can my kids?" What was amazing though is that when those questions came up, I just knew what to say, and it was a wonderful answer. It was such a good answer that I knew I didn't come up with it. After that session, we also had a youth council meeting to plan a youth activity for the whole stake that would exercise all four categories, and I just felt a river of ideas flow through my brain. I literally came up with everything. Actually more accurately, I communicated what the best ideas were, although they weren't my own. And then after that meeting, I went with Dad to do a home visit with the Bishop. That day, I felt something strange. I had eaten almost nothing until 4 pm. I missed my usual all-day Sunday nap, and everything I had done that day was for the church. And yet, I felt easy and light. Before we went to visit the bishop, I told dad how I was feeling, and he shared this with me. Matthew 11: 28-30. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." That sabbath day, I had done everything for the lord. I would say that I took his yoke upon me, and that scripture had a new meaning for me. The things I did were laborious, and it wasn't easy for me to run back and form all Sunday like a bishop. But that Sunday, I didn't feel labored. I felt rested, I felt easy, and I felt light. When God asks us to do things for him, he's not saying it'll be easy, he's saying that it'll make us feel easy, and if we really want to feel happy, this is the way. I shared the experience I had that day with the Bishop, and he got emotional saying how he loved the spirit I brought into their home, and how he had been praying for me. I feel uncomfy when people cry, and I'm not crying, so that was a little awkward, but it was a powerful moment, and it was nice to feel the spirit, and be able to recognize it.
"The next little while continued the same way. I would go to the temple every week, do about 8-9 hours of school work every day, and I was rock climbing and playing hockey, and I was going on dates, and going to dances with friends. I wasn't thinking about it at the time, but I was improving myself in all four categories. And I learned something very valuable. If you focus solely on one thing, you will never keep up, because no sport is just physical. No class is just intellectual. No date is just social. And no spiritual activity is just spiritual. They all complement each other. For example, in hockey, when I exercised all four categories, I was able to communicate better with the players and coaches on the ice (social), I was able to understand what the coaches said, and the plays made (intellectual), I was faster, stronger (physical), and most importantly, I felt the power of God with me when I was on the Ice (Spiritual). Spending less time playing hockey, and making time for other things that are important made me a much better hockey player than I would have been had I been practicing hockey in the basement. Just as how those categories helped me in hockey, hockey helped me focus in school, communicate with people, and feel closer to God. And so on, and so on. They're all connected.
"Ok, I need to wrap this email up soon, I've been going for quite a while. Anyways, February 1st, it was a Wednesday night, at 9:15 pm. This was the last hockey game of the entire season, and since I am a senior, my last hockey game in high school. I was praying hard. No goals have been scored by me throughout all of high school, the 2 seasons that I played on JV. I knew that this was my last chance, and so I was praying hard. I was telling God how this was my last chance, and I needed to score a goal tonight. I had invited a bunch of my friends to this game, and a really really cute girl that I had gone on a date with the night before. this was the first game I'd invited people to. Dad showed up as well, and anyways, there was a lot of pressure. At the beginning of the season, I was a winger for the last line, although for this game, I was on the first line, and playing center. That's the very top. We were playing East High School, and the game started out rough. By the time the first period was over (there are 3 periods), we were losing, 1 - 4.
"That is a very strong lead for East, and so everyone was stressed, scared, and upset that we were failing in our last game.
"I just wanted to share that experience I had with you, and bear my testimony that I know church is pretty darn good at getting people what they need, and what will ultimately make them happy. I know for a fact, that I did not score that goal on my own. It was a result of my teammates, my coaches, my family, my bishop, my friends, the cute girl watching, school, probably more things, but most importantly it was the result of God and his power. He helped me get that goal, and although I was begging for goals earlier in the season, being denied that made this goal so much more precious. I'd like to bear my testimony that I know God is real, and that he wants us to become like him, and he cares about all the little things we deal with. I'd like to bear my testimony that I know God loves us, and no matter what trials we may face today, as long as we stick to what God asks of us, even if we don't want to for whatever reason, it'll all add up to make a beautiful story, and make us beautiful, happy children of God."
Wes sure has a smile on his face when he's playing hockey. Also, since I'm spotlighting Wesley, here's a poem he wrote for his English class today -
Being a kid is like living a dream
You wish you could go back
To when you’re biggest worry was what the fat, red man would bring
When your first priority was building legos
When everyone was your friend
You didn’t care what clothes you wore, what shoes you had, what the trends were
And you didn’t know the world was bad
Living in the most beautiful ignorance
When you didn’t think you’d ever grow up
Now you’re in middle school
The lockers are thin, too thin for a backpack
The teachers are big.
You’re too small, so you see belts, and no faces.
You’ve got school to do
You’ve got books to read
essays to write
equations to solve
You don’t do any of it, ‘cause that’s not cool
You’ve got no friends, no real ones anyways
You’ve got a girlfriend though
Whoops, too late she dumped you
You just wish you could be in high school
Now you’re in high school
Not much has changed
But hey, the lockers are bigger, but you don’t have time to use them
You can see your teachers faces, but you wish you couldn’t
Their noses, and moles, and an excessive amount of armpit sweat, make it hard to focus on the lesson
Goodness, that is a lot of sweat.
Your desk is too close to her, so the smell is there too
There’s still school to do
More books to read
More essays to write
More equations to solve
Your fake friends are gone, so might as well do school
It’s still not cool, but no one wants to marry a failure
So you try, and you try, but you just fall behind
School is too hard, so you try to make new friends
But no one wants you, ‘cause your shoes aren’t on trend
You just wish you could be in college
But it’s your senior year, and college will be hard
You’d have to get a job, or multiple jobs
You’d have to get a car, but that’s too expensive to maybe a motorcycle
You’d want to get married, but you have no time for dates
Heavens, if only it were as simple as when you were little
But would that be better, to never grow up?
To be stuck as a toddler, stuck in a trap?
People you know are going to college, do you want to stay behind?
What’d be the point? To play, and to color, or build with your blocks?
Imagine growing up physically, but being stuck mentally
To really fail, is to never try
To give up in trials, or just sit wondering why
You’re just in high school, you’re time isn’t up
You’re sure to fail, only if you give up
You miss all the shots that you never take
You can succeed, and go live your dreams
Don’t give up
Keep pushing
Your future is waiting
No comments:
Post a Comment