Trust Like Joseph

I taught the class at our Study group today. I signed up for today cause I really wanted to talk about Genesis 49 - cause of what things Timothy Ballard shares in his book about that chapter and George Washington (George Washington had the Bible opened to Genesis 49 and put his hand on that chapter when he was sworn into office as president. See this article by Tim Ballard or read his books "The Washington Hypothesis" or "The Covenant"). So that was why I originally wanted to do these chapters, but as is often the case, I got a lot more out of it as I studied and prepared. This lesson was just for me. So today we were discussing Genesis 37-50 and Joseph of Egypt. As I reviewed it last night, this quote at the beginning of the student manual made me nod my head, thinking "Yup, this is just what I need!" I loved this quote which was part of the introduction, in bold below (does this mean that we can't give up yet? I'm ready to surrender!!):

“The story of Joseph, the son of Jacob who was called Israel, is a vivid representation of the great truth that ‘all things work together for good to [those] who loved God.’ (See Rom. 8:28.) Joseph always seemed to do the right thing; but still, more importantly, he did it for the right reason. And how very, very significant that is! Joseph was sold by his own brothers as a slave and was purchased by Potiphar, a captain of the guard of Pharaoh. But even as an indentured servant, Joseph turned every experience and all circumstances, no matter how trying, into something good. 

“This ability to turn everything into something good appears to be a godly characteristic. Our Heavenly Father always seems able to do this. Everything, no matter how dire, becomes a victory to the Lord. Joseph, although a slave and wholly undeserving of this fate, nevertheless remained faithful to the Lord and continued to live the commandments and made something very good of his degrading circumstances. People like this cannot be defeated, because they will not give up. They have the correct, positive attitude, and Dale Carnegie’s expression seems to apply: If you feel you have a lemon, you can either complain about how sour it is, or you can make a lemonade. It is all up to you.” (Hartman Rector, Jr., “Live above the Law to Be Free,” Ensign, Jan. 1973, p. 130.)  

It reminded me of this quote by Joseph Smith:

George A. Smith, who served as a counselor to President Brigham Young, received the following counsel from the Prophet Joseph Smith at a time of great difficulty: “He told me I should never get discouraged, whatever difficulties might surround me. If I was sunk in the lowest pit of Nova Scotia and all the Rocky Mountains piled on top of me, I ought not to be discouraged but hang on, exercise faith, and keep up good courage and I should come out on the top of the heap at last.”

Joseph of Egypt had it rough and his circumstances were totally unfair and undeserved. Ours, not as much. This has been our choice and our journey, even though it's hard. How would we like to trade Joseph for 13 years of servitude and prison? (I love this picture...)

It eventually turned out quite favorable for him, and it most likely will turn out okay for us too. I'm sure we'll be in a better position 13 years from now, so we just have to stay strong and positive when we're in prison. But ugh, that does not sound fun. It's hard to go through. Ya kinda want to give up and you doubt yourself, whether I've done things right and if I've obeyed and heard the spirits promptings. Also, another interesting thing I mentioned today - in the manual, it said that some scholars believe that Potiphar's position of "captain of the guards" literally means "chief of the butchers" aka he was an executioner - executing capital sentences ordered by the king. Genesis 39:20 "Because Potiphar had great power and was perhaps even head of the royal executioners, it's remarkable that Joseph was only put into prison and not executed." Joseph was blessed and protected, even in being sent to prison instead of execution. Likewise, I can see how the Lord has blessed us and I know it could be worse and much harder than it is. The fact that we're living in this great house in this amazing neighborhood is such a miracle and gift, one we could not and did not get through our own efforts. It was and is a total gift. The trick is to keep that gratitude and keep a positive outlook and perspective. How do we do it and keep doing it when it's hard and we're tired? Sigh.

So those are some of the thoughts and revelation that have been answering these worries. It's been a good day but I've been kinda sad and meditative, feeling like I'm trying to prep myself for a storm that's a comin... Oh, and for the "Courage Challenge" I'm going, guess what we're studying this week? FEAR. Perfect, another answer to my prayers and more help to get me through! The stress is getting pretty big and frightening and is causing me to fear and tremble again. It keeps going back to the "worry or trust" theme that seems to come up in my life over and over again. This time the worry started on Monday - Corey's business came to verbal agreements for a deal with the Brazilian investor two weeks ago. They were to go get the ok from their boards and then get back to each other. Corey's CEO took care of it in 3 days. Then they didn't hear from the Brazil guy. A week went by, nothing... They finally got a hold of him on Monday - he was in Las Vegas and had left the decision to his committee. That wasn't what was supposed to happened - he said that he was the one that had the power to make the decision. It made us worried that this deal was still not going to be finalized for another week or two. Then today Corey says that Ildefonso is now 99% sure that it's not going to happen, cause he said that the "decision with my committee" comment is Brazil business talk for trying to get out of the deal. Ugh. So it's all up in the air, we're dying on the vine... the business is and us financially too. There have been many tender mercies and miracles during the whole past 10 years of this business experience (see 1 Nephi 1:20) but we need the faith to make us mighty unto the power of deliverance. We can't keep living like this, it's not sustainable. I've had this analogy before in my head - it's like we're about to drown in the ocean and there are ships that come and help by throwing us floaties. But the floaties are leaking, so they aren't a permanent solution, and really aren't that much of a help, not that I want to be ungrateful... BUT! Can someone just pull us up on the boat?Are we every going to rest of the blissful shore? It's all up in the air. Breathe, pray, trust.