We had three wonderful things to celebrate today - Ethan spoke at church and shared some experiences from his mission, Katharine was officially given her name and a blessing, and it is also Natalie's birthday today. So it was busy, but very good.
Katharine's blessing was beautiful. I wasn't trying to remember things or write them down, I was just present (cause I had pressed record on my phone! haha! so I thought I didn't have to worry cause I was getting the audio, but... after the blessing was over, I saw my phone was not recording. Somehow after I pressed start, I must have accidentally hit stop after the first 3 seconds, so that was too bad. Sorry Katharine. So the only things we have to document are what my sister Beka shared via text with me: Just as her name means pure, she will be pure. She'll have a love for the what's right. Trust in the Lord. She'll be an example and a strength to her siblings. Perfect faith. Be curious. Discernment as you make decisions. You'll have knowledge of what is better. All gospel truths are there for you as your seek them.
After we got home, Lily wisked her away to change her clothes, and then I had to go up and change her back into her little dress so I could get a few pictures.
It's you Natalie! You are your own present!
At church, after K was blessed, I was able to stay for Lily's talk and for when Mel and Abi played "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" and then after E started to talk, she needed to eat so I went to nurse her in the mother's room and fed her there. I listened to his message over zoom, which is great since the speaker into there has a broken dial and I can't turn up the volume. So it worked out great, thanks covid!
Here is a copy of Ethan's talk -
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Good morning brothers and sisters. I am so happy to see you all here. If you don’t already know, my name is Ethan Wride. For the past two years of my life, I have been serving the Lord Jesus Christ as a missionary for His church - the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. I served for one year in the St. Louis Missouri mission as a reassigned missionary, and then finished my second year in the Dominican Republic Santiago mission. It has been the two most exciting, frustrating, rewarding, and trial ridden years of my little 20 years of mortal life. But, as you can see, I made it out alive.
It has been really hard for me to sum up two whole years into a 25 minute talk. When I first wrote this talk I did my best to summarize some of my feelings but the talk was still over 45 minutes long. I was able to finally get it down to 25 minutes but it took a lot of work and I had to take out stuff that I wish I didn’t need to. But either way, I hope the Spirit will be here as I share a few thoughts.
On April 2, 2021, still a pretty young missionary, I started to realize that my testimony was really
growing, and I wanted to remember it. So I took my missionary notebook and wrote down eight points of my testimony that had grown substantially, that were carrying me through my mission and I hope will be able to continue to carry me throughout my life. So for my homecoming talk today, I want to talk about each of these points that I wrote down that day and the things that my full time missionary service has taught me about them. My testimony and knowledge still are not perfect, but I do have many, many reasons to believe that I want to share with you all:
The Book of Mormon
The first point that I want to talk about is the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.
At about 6 months in the field I remember going through a time that was really hard for me. I felt like a total failure of a missionary. I was trying so hard to help the church grow, but no matter how hard I tried, it felt like I was pushing a big boulder that would hardly budge.
I was filled with doubts again. I felt like God had abandoned me, if He even existed. Everything seemed to testify of Him, and yet as a missionary, when I was supposed to be seeing His hand revealed, I saw nothing.
So I decided to boycott Him. I was going to fast until I saw a miracle. Two days later, no obvious miracle was there. I was defeated, and decided to give up. But it was 9:00 in the morning, which is time for personal study. So I started reading.
I happened to read that day in Alma 30, which is the story of Korihor. As I was reading it, this thought came to my mind:
Can I be going through this trial, and the Book of Mormon still be true?
For example, I was struggling with feeling that God was really there. And then in Alma 30:28,
Korihor mentions God as -
“a being who never has been seen or known, who never was nor ever will be."
So according to the Book, there were people there who didn't believe in God because it was hard to sometimes, and yet, according to the Book, although many people didn't believe in Him, He still existed.
Here’s another example:
In Helaman 4:1 it mentions that there were dissensions in the church. So the church members in the Book of Mormon weren’t perfect. And still, Jesus Christ eventually came and visited them in 3rd Nephi. And when He came, they were still His people, despite their imperfections. So is it possible that in the church today, it’s members be imperfect? That there be pride among some, and even dissenters of this church, and Jesus Christ still eventually come? And when He comes, this still be His church?
Many people leave the church because of the imperfections of the people who are in it. And I admit there are some weird members. And missionaries. But as I studied the Book of Mormon, I saw that the church members there were just as imperfect. And they were still God’s people.
Any question can be answered through the Book of Mormon. Someone may feel abandoned by God and for that reason loses their faith. But in the Book of Mormon (and the Bible) we read many instances of people feeling abandoned by God, and yet according to the Book, He was still there. Having this epiphany as a missionary was a turning point for me.
I also loved reading prophecies of the last days. The Book told me that the world would look a certain way, and then when I went outside everyday and talked to as many people as I could about God, I saw the world that the Book of Mormon told me that I would see.
Like in 1 Nephi 14:12, when Nephi talks about how the saints in the last days would be few in numbers because of the wickedness of the world, but everywhere on the planet. And then, living in several parts of the world, I saw that! I saw great wickedness in the world, but at the same time, I saw faithful saints of the Lord in every part of the world I was in. From the suburbs of St. Louis to the jungles of the Dominican Republic, they were everywhere.
Although there are many different aspects of the Book of Mormon that I find super fascinating, the reason the Book of Mormon is so powerful is because of its witness of Jesus Christ. I learned that it is literally impossible for Jesus Christ to be real and for the Book of Mormon to not be true. I could hardly get through a verse without it referring constantly to Jesus Christ. One of the times I read it I highlighted every time it referred to Christ. And it’s filled with color.
I was always so frustrated with those who claimed to believe in Jesus Christ but wouldn’t even consider the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. If Christ is real, so is the book, and like it says in 2 Nephi 33:10, it teaches “all men that they should do good.”
One lady we contacted in the DR was really apprehensive at first, and we found out she was a very inactive member. Although our conversation started off bad, by the end of our visit, she was smiling from ear to ear, recounting stories of when she was in the church and how much she loved it. From what I could tell, this was a great elect daughter of God who still knows the gospel is true, but had been hurt in some way and was wandering off the path a little bit. We gave her a new copy of the Book of Mormon (it had been like 15 years since she’d had one) and testified to her that it was true. I don’t remember the exact words she said, but then she said something along the lines of “no Elderes, let me tell you about this book” and bore her testimony of it to us.
Even those that are disaffected from the church seem to still carry that passion for the Book of Mormon.
I also love how the Book of Mormon is a physical thing you can hold, and read. One day I was sitting at my desk just holding it in my hand. Again I had been praying to God to see miracles, and I had an epiphany as I held the Book of Mormon in my hands. I’m holding it here, I can read the words on it’s pages, so I know it came from somewhere. And since I know it exists, how does it exist? It’s here, so where did it come from? It either came the way Joseph Smith said it did, or it’s a fraud. This leads me to my second point of my testimony that I want to talk about, which is the prophet Joseph Smith.
The Prophet Joseph Smith
As I have learned more about his life and read from the Book he claimed to have translated, my
testimony and appreciation for him have grown.
So many things have confirmed to me the truth of his calling. As I read the Book of Mormon, I knew that it could not have come from him alone. I have many deep feelings concerning the prophet Joseph Smith but to better explain it I’m going to read a part from Elder Jeffery R. Holland’s talk called “Safety for the Soul”.
“When Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum started for Carthage, Hyrum read these words [from the 12th chapter of Ether] to comfort his brother: “Thou hast been faithful; wherefore … thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father.”
As one of a thousand elements of my own testimony of the divinity of the Book of Mormon, I submit this as yet one more evidence of its truthfulness. In this their greatest—and last—hour of need, I ask you: would these men blaspheme before God by continuing to fix their lives, their honor, and their own search for eternal salvation on a book (and by implication a church and a ministry) they had fictitiously created out of whole cloth? Never mind that their wives are about to be widows and their children fatherless. Never mind that their little band of followers will yet be “houseless, friendless and homeless” and that their children will leave footprints of blood across frozen rivers and an untamed prairie floor. Never mind that legions will die and other legions live declaring in the four quarters of this earth that they know the Book of Mormon and the Church which espouses it to be true. Disregard all of that, and tell me whether in this hour of death these two men would enter the presence of their Eternal Judge quoting from and finding solace in a book which, if not the very word of God, would brand them as imposters and charlatans until the end of time? They would not do that! They were willing to die rather than deny the divine origin and the eternal truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.”
Along with Elder Holland, I love the prophet Joseph Smith and what he did for the Lord Jesus Christ. However despite various logical confirmations I've had about the truth of him being a prophet, the one that I think about most often is one that came straight from God. In my first area, I was driving with my trainer to an appointment, and we were listening to a version of Praise to the Man by Steven Sharp Nelson. It was one of the most powerful moments of my life. As I listened to the song, I felt the spirit strike my core like lightning, and I knew more clearly than I ever knew anything ever before that Joseph Smith was a prophet. And more than that, after a few seconds, I remember feeling exactly what he felt. For a split second I understand how big the burden was that he carried as the prophet of this last dispensation. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I didn't realize how memorable that one moment would be at the time, but I definitely know that in that moment, I knew that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
The third point I want to talk about is where we are all right now - the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Going out all day everyday trying to talk to anyone and everyone about God that is willing to talk to you leads to a lot of very interesting conversations. I talked to a lot of different people of different faiths, and the more I saw of other churches, the more convinced I was of the truth of this church. I came to realize that if there is a God, he has to have a church. The two just go together. God is love, and if He really loves us, he wouldn’t want us to be that confused. And if there is any church on this earth that's true, it has to be this one.
What surprised me is that none of the other churches seemed to even really know what they believed. They were just trying to worship God in whatever way made the most sense to them. But for us, we really know exactly where we came from, exactly why we’re here, and exactly where we are going afterwards. And, most importantly, how to get there. Which, as taught by the scriptures, is faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.
I met a lot of people that really hated us, and wanted to disprove us very badly. But they never could. I remember feeling nervous at first that someone would confront me with an argument that would shatter my faith in the church. I had a lot of people that tried, but after every single one of those kinds of conversations, I walked away not doubtful, but with an even stronger testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Anyone that was so convinced we were wrong, knew little or nothing about what we really believed. But then on the other hand, anyone that actually learned about what we believed came to realize that we were true disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.
I also loved how studying the New Testament strengthened my faith of this Church. I read about the structure of the ancient church - 12 apostles, quorum of 70, with baptisms for the dead, three degrees of glory, tithing, the sacrament, priesthood ordinations, baptism by immersion, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, etc.. and it convinced me more and more that the church that we are at today really truly is Jesus Christ’s New Testament church, restored. If the Bible is true, then so is this church.
The Saints
My fourth anchor I want to mention is the Saints.
As I mentioned earlier, I have seen saints of the church in every place I have visited. And from each of them, I have heard so many witnesses of the truthfulness of the Gospel and the church. Of the hundreds and hundreds of stories I’ve heard from the faithful saints during my mission, I want to share one story that was particularly impactful for me.
A member named Hermana Polanco in Puerto Plata shared a story of how badly she wanted to have kids when she was younger, but nothing worked. Eventually she was able to get a letter to Elder Richard G. Scott of the quorum of the 12, explaining her situation of not being able to have kids despite everything she tried. Elder Scott responded to her letter, saying that on Thursday morning, he and the entire quorum of the 12 together with the first presidency would kneel together in the temple that day and pray to God on her behalf. He also said that they would start a fast. A little over a year later, Hermana Polanco had her first kid.
She then bore her testimony that God hears our prayers and loves us. These stories from faithful members of the church are everywhere. And I don’t think they should be disregarded. It was also another testament to me of the leaders of the church. They are really servants of the Lord who aren’t perfect, but sincerely want the best for God’s people.
When Korihor in the Book of Mormon confronts Alma and claims that his ministry is just to get power and money over the people, Alma responds with…
“we do not receive anything for our labors in the church, what doth it profit us to labor in the church save it were to declare the truth, that we may have rejoicings in the joy of our brethren?”
This attitude is consistent with the apostles and prophets today. They aren’t perfect men, but they are called of God and certainly help with accomplishing His work. They do it because they love God and us. And this leads me to my next point, which is modern day prophets and apostles.
Living prophets and apostles
I got my call in March of 2020 to go to the Dominican Republic Santiago mission. I was very excited, and very disappointed when I was notified during the online MTC that I would be reassigned to serve in the St. Louis Missouri mission. It felt wrong. I knew the Lord had called me to the Caribbean, and all of the sudden, it was like He hadn’t.
After I got my reassignment I told my best friend, Truman Pugsley, who had started the online MTC the same day as me and was called to serve in the Mexico Tijuana mission. Any of you here that knew me and Truman in high school know the friendship we have. We did everything together. Obviously he was annoying at times, as was I to him, but the bromance we had was unprecedented.
He messaged me back a few hours after I told him that I had been reassigned to St. Louis flying out on August 25th, and said the following -
“bruh (should have called me Elder but whatever) my stake president just called. This is literally insane. Like I don't think you realize. I'm going to St. Louis, Missouri. No joke. August 25. My mind is blown."
My mind was blown too. That moment right there, just a few days into the MTC, was definitely one of the biggest miracles I think I’ve seen in my entire life. There is only one person who could have told one of the members of the quorum of the 12 apostles that me and Truman Pugsley were best friends. And that was God. And He did!
In a talk to missionaries about how they are assigned, President Eyring said the following-
“I’ve had lots of experiences in my life of the Holy Ghost giving me the miracle of telling me what the Lord wants. In my life, I have never had it repeatedly, consistently, more powerfully, anymore so than I do in those sessions when I go into a room and participate in deciding who the Lord would call where. I simply would say this to you - that you be careful, if there’s anyone in this room who’s saying, ‘I wonder if I was called by mistake’, or ‘I wonder if that’s really the place for me’. I just warn you - you be careful. No member of the 12 called you. It was not a human choice. It was not a computer that did it. Of all the experiences I’ve had of having the mind of the Lord made fairly clear - or very clear - nothing compares to the experience of those moments of missionaries being assigned. He must love you. You don’t remember His face, but He remembers yours.”
My time in St. Louis was definitely where I got humbled the most. I learned so much, but I didn’t have much success, I didn’t have any major responsibilities, and I felt like a bit of a failure most of the time, even while being as obedient and diligent as I could. Even with those feelings, because of this experience of getting reassigned with Elder Pugsley, I can’t deny that I know that the Lord had planned from the very beginning for me to serve for a year in the St. Louis Missouri area before I went to the Dominican Republic.
Towards the end of my time in the St. Louis area, me and Elder Pugsley were companions for nearly two transfers. On July 6th, he flew to Mexico, and two days later on July 8th, I flew to the Dominican Republic. We were some of the very first Americans that got picked to go to their original assignments at that time. For me and him to have started the MTC the same day, get reassigned together, and then leave together to our original assignments at the same time I know is the work of God.
Another experience I have that has strengthened my faith in our leaders happened while in the Dominican Republic. I was watching a short documentary about the prophet Russel M. Nelson during my lunch hour. Towards the end of the documentary, I again felt the Spirit of the Lord hit me so hard. I wasn’t even sad, but I just started bawling. I tried to fight back the tears and then had to go into the other room so my greenie didn’t see me, but continued to feel the Spirit so strong. I felt it burning in me, telling me that President Russell M. Nelson is a true prophet of God. I knew it so perfectly in that moment. To sum it up, I felt what it says in Helaman 5:30 -
“And it came to pass when they heard this voice, and beheld that it was not a voice of thunder, neither was it a voice of a great tumultuous noise, but behold, it was a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper, and it did pierce even to the very soul”
I haven’t had another experience quite that strong about the prophet of the church, but I know that if there really is such a thing as a Holy Ghost, it was definitely speaking to my soul in that moment, telling me the truth.
One of my favorite quotes from President Nelson was in the October 2020 conference when he simply said “Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ love us. They care for us. He and His holy angels are watching over us. I know, that is true.”
You hear statements like this over, and over, and over again from the leaders of the church. As I’ve listened to these, I have to ask myself.
“Talking with that strong of a conviction, he is either lying, tricked into thinking that, or telling the truth”. How can I disregard the words of the prophets? Their testimonies are everywhere, both ancient and modern. And they each testify with total conviction of Jesus Christ. I would be lying to myself if I said that they don’t really mean it when they say that they “know” the gospel is true.
The Creation
The sixth point that I want to talk about is the miracle of the creation.
During the last 6 months of my mission I remember going through a phase where I was annoyed with angels. I remember reading the story of Joseph Smith being appeared to by Moroni and thinking of how even though my testimony was very strong, what a hard thing to believe that was. To think that an angel showed up in some guy's room? It just sounded like a fairy tale - and I doubted.
Then I had a life-changing experience. It was while I was serving in the beach town of Puerto Plata, (which might by my favorite place on earth). It was the end of the night, and we were heading back home. We were in a trio at the time. In the US, being in a trio was nice because it meant that you could take a nap in the back of the car while your two companions sat upfront. But in the Dominican Republic, we were car-less, and it wasn’t that fun. So when some drunk guy started talking to my two companions at the end of the day, I kind of zoned out and let them deal with it.
As I was in my zone, I started looking around at where I was. Then I looked up and saw the stars. And it hit me so hard, like wow, those are amazing!
Then I looked at the moon, and was even more amazed. I started to breathe in, feeling the Caribbean breeze, looking around and seeing the palm trees, hearing the dogs bark and yelp, and it hit me more than ever before the reality of God.
My concern was the idea of angels appearing, and just supernatural things in general. But then I realized that the biggest miracle of all is that life exists in the first place. To explain this thought a little bit better I am going to share a part from a BYU devotional by Lawrence C. Corbridge called “Stand Forever”. Which I would highly recommend listening to if you haven’t.
“Believe “with God all things are possible.” We may all be taken back from time to time by the extraordinary—such as walking on water, multiplying bread and fish, raising the dead, translating gold plates with special lenses or a stone and hat, and the visitation of angels. Some people are hard-pressed to believe extraordinary things. While it is understandable that we may be challenged by the extraordinary, we shouldn’t be, because ordinary things are actually far more phenomenal.
The most phenomenal occurrences of all time and eternity—the most amazing wonders, the most astounding, awesome developments—are the most common and widely recognized. They include: I am; you are; we are; and all that we perceive exists as well, from subatomic particles to the farthest reaches of the cosmos and everything in between, including all of the wonders of life. Is there anything greater than those ordinary realities? No. Nothing else even comes close. You can’t begin to imagine, much less describe, anything greater than what already is.
In light of what is, nothing else should surprise us. It should be easy to believe that with God all things are possible.
More phenomenal than resurrection is birth. The greater wonder is not that life, having once existed, could come again but that it ever exists at all.
That one could see on a stone or through a special lens the modern translation of ancient text written on plates of gold is far less amazing than the human eye. The wonder is not what the human eye may see, rather, that it sees anything at all.
How can you believe in extraordinary things such as angels and gold plates and your divine potential? Easy, just look around and believe.”- (that’s the end of the quote)
And it’s so true! Like, look at the sun!? What is that thing?! It’s a floating giant condensed ball of something that also gives light and heat and like what!? That’s insane! How does it even work? How did it get there? Who made it?
And the earth! It’s crazy! What are the odds that everything here has been lined up so perfectly for human life. I remember in high school hearing stuff in science class where they would say “and if it weren’t [such and such] here on earth we would all die and life would cease to exist.”. So did all of that really just come by chance?
And look at humans! Where did they come from!? I came to realize in those moments in Puerto Plata more than ever before what is says in Alma 30:44 is true -
“all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.”
I can’t explain to you how an angel appeared in Joseph Smith’s room in the same way that I can’t explain to you how the sun exists right now. But just because I can’t explain the science behind it, doesn’t mean it’s not possible. I know that the sun is real, even if I don’t know exactly how it works. And in the same way, I know that an angel appeared to Joseph Smith, even if I can’t tell you exactly how it happened.
Seeing the world that our God created for us was probably the biggest miracle I saw during my entire mission.
And the funny thing is, after I had this epiphany, that angels are real, we had an experience with one of our investigators that had an angelic visitation. It’s probably too sacred to share here, but after she told us through tears the experience she had, I really did know that God sends real living angels.
Problems - death, sin, etc.
My 7th point I want to mention is just problems in general - that includes things like death, sin, depression, etc..
In my third area in the US we had a few people in our branch die. It was an old branch. I remember at one of the funerals walking past and seeing the old lady’s corpse in her casket, in her temple clothes. And I saw her, but I knew it wasn’t really her. It was just her body. She was somewhere else.
A couple of days after the funeral me and Elder Pugsley visited a nearby cemetery. It was amazing to me to look around and see how many dead people there are in this world, and almost every single one of them had the cross carved out in their grave stone. It seems to me that by the end of their life they knew that they had nowhere else to turn except towards Jesus Christ.
Someone may not believe in God but there are some things that none of us can deny. We can’t deny that life exists, and we can’t deny that it ends. And for me, seeing that life will end for each of us someday gives me total conviction that it will exist again. Through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, it is going to happen.
But death isn’t our only problem here on earth. I loved my mission, but it was really, really hard. There were days where I was literally counting down the minutes until I could just go to sleep and forget where I was and who I was. Days where I would go into another room and just cry and plead to God to please just help me. I had never felt more pain than I did as a missionary.
But what hurt me more sometimes was seeing the pain of those around me. Every day I saw the effects of - death, sin, sickness, addiction, poverty, depression, and so forth.
Especially in the Dominican Republic, things were hard. Almost nightly they would have what they call “teteos" where people got together, would drink, vape, do drugs and other very immoral things, etc. It hurt to watch. I felt many times like I was walking constantly through the midst of darkness described in the tree of life. Me and my companion just walking through an army of sin trying to keep our heads straight and not let it distract us, while nicotine smoke is flying around, music blasting at full volume, and people shouting for us to come join them.
After seeing so much wickedness, so much pain in the lives of so many people, I came to realize more than ever the necessity of a Savior. There had to be a way to fix all of this. All of these problems. There has to be a way to fix it. And there is. As in 1 Nephi 10:6 - “Wherefore, all mankind were in a lost and in a fallen state, and ever would be save they should rely on this Redeemer.”
And that leads me to my last point - The Lord Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ
One thing that had me in awe since day one of my mission, was that I was seeing firsthand, the aftermath, of a Savior who had come into the world. A Savior who was beaten and crucified by His own people. I saw the effects of that, and they were everywhere. Everything I saw testified to me of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.
Just looking up and seeing the sun, the moon, and the stars. It was like God was giving me a hint of the plan of salvation. It was like he was saying, “remember, you’re going to one of these places. Which is it gonna be?”
Also just looking at my watch and seeing that we are in the year 2022. What happened 2022 years ago? Jesus Christ was born!
And you look at the way this country was founded! It was founded by God believing people who did their best to honor Him. That’s why the United States became so great. And I didn’t see that just with the U.S.! I saw it in the Dominican Republic too. They have the Bible drawn on their flag. Every day everyone says “goodbye” followed by “vaya con Dios”, or in other words, “God be with you!”. Everyone at least seemed to acknowledge that He is there.
And just seeing God’s beautiful children. I looked into the eyes of so many people, and I saw and felt the love of the Savior through them. I could see hints of deity in their eyes. I love them all so much, and I wish I had the time to tell each of you about each of those people I met by name. The people were what made my mission so memorable. But again, we would all be lost without a Savior.
So to finish my talk, I want to share one more sacred experience.
During this time, I had been in the Dominican Republic for just three weeks, and was instantly thrown into the most depressing situation I have ever been in in my entire life. To spare you the details, I was fighting to not come home. It was really hard. I didn’t think I was going to make it.
I tried to keep myself busy all of the time by listening to talks and such. One day during lunch I listened to a BYU devotional by Neil A. Maxwell called “In Him All Things Hold Together”. This talk is specifically about the atonement of Jesus Christ. He described it with such power that totally overcame me. The part that struck me the most was when he said that while suffering in the garden of Gethsemane, the Savior didn’t kneel or anything like that, but instead He fell on His face.
At that moment, I felt the spirit hit me again so hard. I understood so well the reality of the atonement. I went into the other room, shut the door, and prayed one of the most earnest prayers of my entire life. I pleaded forgiveness for my sins and for wanting to quit, and I promised the Lord that no matter what trials were ahead of me, I was going to finish my mission. There was just absolutely nothing that would happen that would change my mind. I was going to serve my full-time mission, or I was going to die trying.
Even after that little promise I made with God, I had moments where I felt like giving up. But as I put my trust in God through my patience, diligence, and prayers of faith, I saw His hand revealed.
I wish I could look you all in the eyes, and tell you with complete conviction that Jesus Christ lives, as though I have seen Him myself. But I can’t. I have not seen Jesus Christ in the way that I see you all right now. But, I know that I have definitely seen His shadow everywhere. I haven’t heard His voice, but I know that I have felt it. There is nowhere I can turn without my thoughts being directed back to Jesus Christ. He is the Light and the Life of the world. Everything I see, even here at home, testifies to me of the Son of God.
My two year mission has changed the man I was, the man I am, and the man I still want to become. I am so grateful for the Lord’s plan for my mission. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be, but also so much better. I miss those experiences and the mission field, but I’m not looking back. I know that despite being imperfect, I absolutely gave it my all those two years to help build the kingdom. I hope God accepts my contribution.
I bear my testimony to you all that the Book of Mormon is true, Joseph Smith was a prophet, this is the true church of Jesus Christ, and God is our loving Father in heaven. And He “so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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At home, Ethan discovered the fatherly fun of having a baby suck on his nose.
Good times, it was a good day. Welcome home E, Katharine you are blessed, and Happy birthday Natalie!
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