Hello. I guess I'm feeling all the build up of the holiday stress come to the surface today a bit. I want to surrender to God like Jonathan Roumie did - great article in the Deseret News here. He was broke, prayed, and literally surrender to God.
"Roumie also described an instance where he was transformed by prayer. When Roumie was broke, he prayed and his life changed. “I was literally on my knees and I said, ‘Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.’ ... And then three months later, I got called to do ‘The Chosen.’ It was a point that I think my life was building to when that happened — and I realized that trying to micromanage God was not something that was working in my favor..."
That's where we're at and what I need to do. Not just during times of holiday stress, but always. Deep breath. So we're having our Wride Christmas Eve Party tomorrow. Everyone is in charge of different stuff, as I said, and tonight Jordyn took Sophi and Natalie out to buy supplies for the treats that they've planned for dessert. They came home and started to make a cake, then they mashed it up with frosting...
then they mashed it up with frosting...
and turned it into Santa cake ball pops, I think? And some snowman cake pops. Kinda messy, but they didn't mind that part! (Licking off their fingers...)
So they are down doing that right now. I venmo'd Jordyn to help pay for the supplies (that is way too much for desserts... but THAT'S OK! We're giving them experiences and they're creating memories together). Today we had a rehearsal at church for our ward Christmas concert/program on Sunday. We did it at the stake center because our ward building is getting new carpet. Abi and Lily were very unready for their piece, it was quite embarrassing a the rehearsal. They smiled through it there but they are finally feeling the panic and getting serious, ugh. So many people in the ward have put so much into this, I'd had for the Wride Family Number to be so bad. I'm sure they'll pull through. They did good practicing tonight and I'm sure will do a little more in the morning. Sophi Natalie and I are playing "Joy to the World" with the ward violin choir. We need to be at church at 8am, so hopefully they'll all be wrapping up baking and practicing soon so we can go to bed early. We're all meeting at 8 to do another one through of program before church starts.
After the rehearsal this morning, I went out shopping cause I still needed a present for Owen. Corey went off to Scheels. I went to the Lego store at fashion place. I ended up getting him the Lego Rebel Base, which was over the budgeted price per child we had set, but hopefully he'll share it with his brothers. Done with that at 2 PM, then I went bouldering for a few. I did 9 V2 sends and a few attempts, I did a purple V2 that I hadn't done before, the one in the OG sector on the northeast corner of the boulder, I did it! I also did a blue V2 in the OG sector that I hadn't been able to do before, yay. I like just getting further on a climb than I've gotten the time before. On a green V2 I got to the almost last hold, yay. I only have a few V2s to do, but some of them seem a bit impossible
What else... Joseph had Zeb over for lunch today. Having them in the kitchen sent Corey into a slight panic about not having enough food for people, making him become worried about food tomorrow, and I ended up taking it the wrong way when he said he was going to go out and pick up a few groceries. I was able to express myself, and learned once again that it's well intentioned and he just wants to be helpful. He's not trying to give me stress. I did tell him that it made me want to give up. He asked about buying ski helmets cause they are on sale, but I said no, we have enough. We are prepared, I have prepared for Christmas (mostly on my own), and we have food to feed them, no need for him to panic, but when I do think that he's scrambling for last minute food or gifts, I get a feeling that any prep I've done is not enough, so I guess that makes me feel pressure/anxiety/restlessness. We were able to talk it through over the phone as we were at our different stores (me at Fashion Place, him at Scheels). We'll get through this, Christmas is almost here and almost over. I want to not get burnt out by the holidays. Deep breath. Tomorrow we'll be having a fancy feast, but tonight I just microwaved potatoes for dinner. Before they ate though, I want kids to clean and get out of their "just standing around wondering what to do" mode. We don't need to always shovel food at them when they are standing around bored. There is stuff to do! Get to work (the house is currently a total wreck). Those are my thoughts. Corey told me he is always feeling swelling pressure, that kids wear him out and talk his ear off. Corey's day went like this: wake up, went to the bank, o crap, talking to kids, wants to help Lily practice but she was asleep. Katharine hanging on him constantly, Mel's got drama with school (a teacher claim she cheated on a final) and he just feels pecked at all day long. Corey apologized for not thinking about or recognizing all the work I've done. We both are trying our best. He would like us to beat the kids to it (hunger/food). It was also nice that Corey recognized that he's abandoned me this whole Christmas prep season. But all the stuff he does is for me, (except for when he's trying to get kids to leave him alone) haha. We're almost there, we're gonna make it.
No comments:
Post a Comment