Saturday, March 16, 2013
St. Patrick's Day Treat
Made our little St. Patrick's Day treat a day early. I am so glad spring is in the air, we had a beautiful morning, I made the kids go with me into the backyard and we raked and raked and raked pine needles. Looks SO much better. They were good helpers, so I thought they deserved a good treat. After they were done helping, I made them stay out and play while I made the "surprise" - it was fun.
I let Joseph help me assemble while Melodie kept the kid's and their eager anticipation at bay -
9 individual plates of Fruit Rainbow goodness with marshmallow and whipped cream clouds and a little bit of gold...
Could not find those gold foil wrapped Rolos anywhere to do it like in this pot of gold, oh well, the Hershey's nuggets worked out pretty good, the kids were all smiles ~
Happy big kids and little kids and Dad-kid too.
And we have enough fruit and treats left to do it again tomorrow. Have a Lucky Day!
Friday, March 15, 2013
Home Management Book
Thursday morning I was a volcano about to errupt. My house is once again out of control as was evidenced by every room I walked into. Corey's wallet had been found by a 3 year old and we spent the morning searching for his credit cards from whatever nook and cranny they had been dispersed to, nothing is safe, knowing how to manage our life and kids and house is a battle I just can't seem to figure out.
I sent an email to my backdoor neighbor Amy, cause a month ago as I was sharing my frustrations with her, she told me how she's got a system in place that is working great and has been for 3+ years! That got my attention. So I emailed her Thursday to say I'm at my wits end once again and would like to come see her book and system when she had a chance. Today was my lucky day, and I got to go pick her brain and see her hard work and I took pictures and got motivated and inspired and am super excited to put her system in place for us. She's got lists and plans and follows through with them, I was so inspired, lots of ideas I've had that I just haven't gotten put together, they are all jumbled up in my brain. Look at this page - doing great stuff like working her way through a cook book and trying new recipes everyweek - something I dream about but don't do. Well, lucky timing for me, cause this is my year to DO!!
She's got six kids ages ranging from 1 year to 12, so we're in pretty similar circumstances, only I'm pregnant and lazy right now and she's just busy busy, wow, impressive weekly calendar, compared to mine, but she's able to keep on top of it.
Anyway, totally excited me, I'd stay up all night working on it if I could, but that wouldn't be wise. I had a busy day, but again, I'm excited and motivated to take another step that's hopefully in the right direction to get a handle on this raising a family thing. One page in her book was called "End Game" which is her long term plan for what she wants to accomplish before her oldest leaves for college or a mission when he's 18, just 6 years away for her. Joseph is 13, so we just have 5 years before our family dynamics change for the rest of our mortal life. Not a lot of time to enjoy these kids, time keeps marching on and slipping by. They are growing up fast, time to figure it out. I'll be sharing her ideas as soon as I can, first gotta clean off my desk here that is drowning in paper. Look at how out of control I let things get...
I'm glad this picture doesn't do the mess justice. It's really bad....definitely not inspiring my children by my messy example, I'm sure. sigh. I guess tackling this desk is first priority, then watch out life, cause I'm making a home management book that is gonna rock your world.
I sent an email to my backdoor neighbor Amy, cause a month ago as I was sharing my frustrations with her, she told me how she's got a system in place that is working great and has been for 3+ years! That got my attention. So I emailed her Thursday to say I'm at my wits end once again and would like to come see her book and system when she had a chance. Today was my lucky day, and I got to go pick her brain and see her hard work and I took pictures and got motivated and inspired and am super excited to put her system in place for us. She's got lists and plans and follows through with them, I was so inspired, lots of ideas I've had that I just haven't gotten put together, they are all jumbled up in my brain. Look at this page - doing great stuff like working her way through a cook book and trying new recipes everyweek - something I dream about but don't do. Well, lucky timing for me, cause this is my year to DO!!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Dancing Princess
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Shorts
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
5 Ways To Get Your Kids To Listen
1. Say it With a Single Word
2. Provide Information
3. Give Your Child a Choice
4. State Your Expectations
5. Name Their Feelings
Got that short list above from a good article I read today on Parents.com/TeamMom, here. This is something I struggle with and I was trying step 1 yesterday of using single word, I think it helped. I can think of my own examples for each of the ones they give, I've written up these 5 steps and placed them in several places throughout the house hoping it will help me remember. So there's some good advice and examples in the post which I pasted below, and I have the book on my shelf, I should probably read that one too.
Sigh, so much to learn and apply! But this is a good quick sum-up of the author Vicki Glembocki's experience with the ideas she found most helpful from the book:
A few months ago I crashed headfirst into my most frustrating parenting problem to date: My daughters were ignoring me. I could tell them five times to do anything -- get dressed, turn off the TV, brush their teeth -- and they either didn't hear me or didn't listen. So I'd tell them five more times, louder and louder. It seemed the only way I could inspire Blair, 6, and Drew, 4, to action was if I yelled like one of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and then threatened to throw their blankies away.
This was not the kind of parent I wanted to be. But their inability to obey or even acknowledge my husband, Thad, and me made us feel powerless. While walking through Target one Saturday, I heard no fewer than five parents say some variation of, "If you don't start listening, we're walking out of this store right now!"
I recognized that at least part of the problem was me. After much lamenting about my lame parenting skills, I got lucky: A friend's mom mentioned what she calls "the Bible" on the subject: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. When I checked it out at fabermazlish.com, I saw that there's an accompanying DIY workshop for $130 (both were updated last year in honor of the book's 30th anniversary). Granted, the authors are moms, not child psychologists or toddler whisperers. But the book was a national best-seller, and parents continue to host workshops using the authors' ideas.
To see if their advice still held up, I wrangled four equally desperate mom buddies and ordered the workshop. I got two CDs and a guide with directions for leading the group. We met every Tuesday night in my living room for seven weeks, spending much of our 90-minute sessions talking about our struggles with listening-challenged kids as if we were in a 12-step program. We followed along as actors played out scenarios on the CD, did some role-playing of our own, and completed weekly homework assignments, such as reading parts of How to Talk and Liberated Parents, Liberated Children, by the same authors, and then applying our new communication skills. Not all of Faber and Mazlish's advice rang true for us. Their suggestion to post a to-do list on the fridge so we wouldn't have to keep reminding our kids of their responsibilities, for instance, didn't pan out (especially because I had to keep reminding my girls to look at the note!). But other tips truly got our kids to start paying attention -- and, better yet, got us to stop screaming at them. Carrie, the mom of a 6-year-old, summed up our collective reaction by the end: "This really works!"
1. Say it With a Single Word
The situation My daughters have only one assigned chore: to carry their plates to the sink when they're done eating. Still, not a night went by when I didn't need to tell them to do it, sometimes three times. Even that didn't guarantee they would -- and who would finally clear them? Take a guess.
The old way After they ignored my repeated commands, I'd sit Blair and Drew down and preach for ten minutes about how I wasn't their servant and this wasn't a restaurant.
The better way Kids usually know what they're supposed to do; they just need some simple reminding. "They'll tune you out when you go on and on," Faber told me. "Instead, try just one word to jog their memory."
The result After dinner one night, all I said was "plates." At first the girls looked at me as if I were speaking in an alien tongue. But a second later, they picked them up and headed for the kitchen. After roughly a month of reinforcement, I don't need to say anything; they do it automatically. "Teeth!" works equally well for getting them to brush, as does "Shoes" to replace my typical morning mantra: "Find your shoes and put them on; find your shoes and put them on". And when I hear Blair screaming, "Give me that!" I simply say, "Nice words" (okay, that's two words). I practically faint when she says, "Drew, would you please give that to me?"
2. Provide Information
The situation My friend Michele had just served lunch when, as was her habit, 2-year-old Everly jumped off her chair, climbed back on, turned around, stood up, and then stomped on the cushion.
The old way When Everly wouldn't respond to a patient "You need to sit still," Michele would get annoyed and say something like, "How hard is it to understand? You must sit down!" Everly would cry but still not sit. In the end, she'd get a time-out, which didn't change her behavior.
The better way State the facts instead of always issuing commands. "Who doesn't rebel against constant orders?" asks Faber. (I know I do.) Kids aren't robots programmed to do our bidding. They need to exercise their free will, which is why they often do exactly the opposite of what we ask them to. The trick is to turn your directive into a teaching moment. So instead of, "Put that milk away," you might simply say: "Milk spoils when it's left out." This approach says to a child, "I know that when you have all the information, you'll do the right thing,'" Faber explains.
The result The next time Everly played jungle gym at mealtime, Michele took a calming breath and then said, "Honey, chairs are meant for sitting." Everly smiled at her mother, sat down, and then started eating. "That never happened before," Michele reports. She still has to remind her daughter now and then, but in the end, Everly listens. The technique applies to other situations as well. Rather than saying, "Stop touching everything," Michele now points out, "Those delicate things can break very easily." Ditto for "Legos belong in the green bin so you can find them the next time you want to play with them" and "Unflushed toilets get stinky."
3. Give Your Child a Choice
The situation Three days after our final session, Joan took her kids to Orlando. At the Magic Kingdom, she handed them hats to shield the sun. Her 6-year-old put hers on willingly. Her almost-5-year-old, Sam, refused.
The old way "I'd try to persuade him to cooperate," Joan says. Inevitably, she'd end up shouting, "If you don't put it on, you can't go on any more rides." Then he'd bawl his eyes out, and no one would have any fun.
The better way Offer your child choices. "Threats and punishment don't work," Faber explains on one of the workshop CDs. "Rather than feeling sorry for not cooperating, a child tends to become even more stubborn. But when you make him part of the decision, he's far more likely to do what's acceptable to you."
The result Joan left it up to her son: "Sam, you can put your hat on now or after you sit out the next ride." Sam still wouldn't comply. "But after he missed out on Peter Pan's Flight, I said, 'Sam, here's your hat,' and he put it right on," Joan says.
4. State Your Expectations
The situation Amy let her kids turn on the TV before they left for school. After one show was over, she'd take Adrian, 4, to get dressed while Angela, 7, kept watching. But when it was Angela's turn to get ready, she'd whine, "Just ten more minutes. Please? Pleeeeeeeaaase!"
The old way Amy would yell: "No, you've watched enough. That's it." Angela would complain some more. Amy would yell, "I said no!" Then, after more begging, she'd add, "You've already had more TV time than Adrian. You're being ungrateful."
The better way Let your kids know your plan ahead of time. Amy should tell Angela something like this: "After you've brushed your teeth and are totally dressed and ready to go, you can watch a little more TV while I get your brother dressed. That way you'll be on time for school."
The result The first time Amy tried this tactic, Angela turned off the TV without saying a word. But the second morning, she refused and started bellyaching again. Amy quickly realized she hadn't reminded Angela of the plan in advance this time. So the following morning she stated it again clearly: "When I leave with Adrian, I expect you to turn off the TV." Success. She finds the strategy equally effective for other situations ("No starting new games until the one you've just played is put away").
5. Name Their Feelings
The situation Carrie's daughter Tatum, 6, was happily blowing bubbles with a friend. Suddenly, Tatum stormed into the room, wailing, "Mina's not giving me a turn."
The old way "I'd say something like, 'There's no reason to cry over this,'" Carrie says. What would Tatum do? The opposite -- cry more and likely ruin the rest of the playdate.
The better way Parents need to listen too. "Everyone wants to know they've been heard and understood," Faber argues. Telling a child to stop crying sends the message that her feelings don't matter. Kids often cry (or whine, yell, or stomp) because they can't communicate why they're upset or don't know how to deal with the emotion. "You need to give them the words to express it," Faber says.
The result Next time, Carrie looked Tatum in the eye and described what she thought her daughter was feeling: "You seem really frustrated!" Tatum stared at her in surprise and then announced, "I am." Carrie held her tongue to keep from giving advice ("You need to..."), defending her friend ("Mina deserves a turn too"), or getting philosophical ("That's life"). Instead, she said, "Oh." Tatum kept talking: "I wish I had two bottles of bubbles." Carrie asked, "How can we work this out so it's fair to you and Mina?" Tatum said by taking turns. Carrie suggested they use a kitchen timer, and Tatum explained the plan to Mina. Everyone wound up happy. "It's hard to stop yourself from saying too much," says Carrie. She's right. Phrases like, "You never listen to me" and "How many times do I have to tell you?" become ingrained in our brain. During the workshop, my friends and I realize that it's going to take a bit of practice to stop uttering these expressions. But that's the entire point: to change the way we talk to our kids, so they not only understand what we're trying to say but actually want to listen.
2. Provide Information
3. Give Your Child a Choice
4. State Your Expectations
5. Name Their Feelings
Got that short list above from a good article I read today on Parents.com/TeamMom, here. This is something I struggle with and I was trying step 1 yesterday of using single word, I think it helped. I can think of my own examples for each of the ones they give, I've written up these 5 steps and placed them in several places throughout the house hoping it will help me remember. So there's some good advice and examples in the post which I pasted below, and I have the book on my shelf, I should probably read that one too.
~ ~ ~
A few months ago I crashed headfirst into my most frustrating parenting problem to date: My daughters were ignoring me. I could tell them five times to do anything -- get dressed, turn off the TV, brush their teeth -- and they either didn't hear me or didn't listen. So I'd tell them five more times, louder and louder. It seemed the only way I could inspire Blair, 6, and Drew, 4, to action was if I yelled like one of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and then threatened to throw their blankies away.
This was not the kind of parent I wanted to be. But their inability to obey or even acknowledge my husband, Thad, and me made us feel powerless. While walking through Target one Saturday, I heard no fewer than five parents say some variation of, "If you don't start listening, we're walking out of this store right now!"
I recognized that at least part of the problem was me. After much lamenting about my lame parenting skills, I got lucky: A friend's mom mentioned what she calls "the Bible" on the subject: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. When I checked it out at fabermazlish.com, I saw that there's an accompanying DIY workshop for $130 (both were updated last year in honor of the book's 30th anniversary). Granted, the authors are moms, not child psychologists or toddler whisperers. But the book was a national best-seller, and parents continue to host workshops using the authors' ideas.
To see if their advice still held up, I wrangled four equally desperate mom buddies and ordered the workshop. I got two CDs and a guide with directions for leading the group. We met every Tuesday night in my living room for seven weeks, spending much of our 90-minute sessions talking about our struggles with listening-challenged kids as if we were in a 12-step program. We followed along as actors played out scenarios on the CD, did some role-playing of our own, and completed weekly homework assignments, such as reading parts of How to Talk and Liberated Parents, Liberated Children, by the same authors, and then applying our new communication skills. Not all of Faber and Mazlish's advice rang true for us. Their suggestion to post a to-do list on the fridge so we wouldn't have to keep reminding our kids of their responsibilities, for instance, didn't pan out (especially because I had to keep reminding my girls to look at the note!). But other tips truly got our kids to start paying attention -- and, better yet, got us to stop screaming at them. Carrie, the mom of a 6-year-old, summed up our collective reaction by the end: "This really works!"
1. Say it With a Single Word
The situation My daughters have only one assigned chore: to carry their plates to the sink when they're done eating. Still, not a night went by when I didn't need to tell them to do it, sometimes three times. Even that didn't guarantee they would -- and who would finally clear them? Take a guess.
The old way After they ignored my repeated commands, I'd sit Blair and Drew down and preach for ten minutes about how I wasn't their servant and this wasn't a restaurant.
The better way Kids usually know what they're supposed to do; they just need some simple reminding. "They'll tune you out when you go on and on," Faber told me. "Instead, try just one word to jog their memory."
The result After dinner one night, all I said was "plates." At first the girls looked at me as if I were speaking in an alien tongue. But a second later, they picked them up and headed for the kitchen. After roughly a month of reinforcement, I don't need to say anything; they do it automatically. "Teeth!" works equally well for getting them to brush, as does "Shoes" to replace my typical morning mantra: "Find your shoes and put them on; find your shoes and put them on". And when I hear Blair screaming, "Give me that!" I simply say, "Nice words" (okay, that's two words). I practically faint when she says, "Drew, would you please give that to me?"
2. Provide Information
The situation My friend Michele had just served lunch when, as was her habit, 2-year-old Everly jumped off her chair, climbed back on, turned around, stood up, and then stomped on the cushion.
The old way When Everly wouldn't respond to a patient "You need to sit still," Michele would get annoyed and say something like, "How hard is it to understand? You must sit down!" Everly would cry but still not sit. In the end, she'd get a time-out, which didn't change her behavior.
The better way State the facts instead of always issuing commands. "Who doesn't rebel against constant orders?" asks Faber. (I know I do.) Kids aren't robots programmed to do our bidding. They need to exercise their free will, which is why they often do exactly the opposite of what we ask them to. The trick is to turn your directive into a teaching moment. So instead of, "Put that milk away," you might simply say: "Milk spoils when it's left out." This approach says to a child, "I know that when you have all the information, you'll do the right thing,'" Faber explains.
The result The next time Everly played jungle gym at mealtime, Michele took a calming breath and then said, "Honey, chairs are meant for sitting." Everly smiled at her mother, sat down, and then started eating. "That never happened before," Michele reports. She still has to remind her daughter now and then, but in the end, Everly listens. The technique applies to other situations as well. Rather than saying, "Stop touching everything," Michele now points out, "Those delicate things can break very easily." Ditto for "Legos belong in the green bin so you can find them the next time you want to play with them" and "Unflushed toilets get stinky."
3. Give Your Child a Choice
The situation Three days after our final session, Joan took her kids to Orlando. At the Magic Kingdom, she handed them hats to shield the sun. Her 6-year-old put hers on willingly. Her almost-5-year-old, Sam, refused.
The old way "I'd try to persuade him to cooperate," Joan says. Inevitably, she'd end up shouting, "If you don't put it on, you can't go on any more rides." Then he'd bawl his eyes out, and no one would have any fun.
The better way Offer your child choices. "Threats and punishment don't work," Faber explains on one of the workshop CDs. "Rather than feeling sorry for not cooperating, a child tends to become even more stubborn. But when you make him part of the decision, he's far more likely to do what's acceptable to you."
The result Joan left it up to her son: "Sam, you can put your hat on now or after you sit out the next ride." Sam still wouldn't comply. "But after he missed out on Peter Pan's Flight, I said, 'Sam, here's your hat,' and he put it right on," Joan says.
4. State Your Expectations
The situation Amy let her kids turn on the TV before they left for school. After one show was over, she'd take Adrian, 4, to get dressed while Angela, 7, kept watching. But when it was Angela's turn to get ready, she'd whine, "Just ten more minutes. Please? Pleeeeeeeaaase!"
The old way Amy would yell: "No, you've watched enough. That's it." Angela would complain some more. Amy would yell, "I said no!" Then, after more begging, she'd add, "You've already had more TV time than Adrian. You're being ungrateful."
The better way Let your kids know your plan ahead of time. Amy should tell Angela something like this: "After you've brushed your teeth and are totally dressed and ready to go, you can watch a little more TV while I get your brother dressed. That way you'll be on time for school."
The result The first time Amy tried this tactic, Angela turned off the TV without saying a word. But the second morning, she refused and started bellyaching again. Amy quickly realized she hadn't reminded Angela of the plan in advance this time. So the following morning she stated it again clearly: "When I leave with Adrian, I expect you to turn off the TV." Success. She finds the strategy equally effective for other situations ("No starting new games until the one you've just played is put away").
5. Name Their Feelings
The situation Carrie's daughter Tatum, 6, was happily blowing bubbles with a friend. Suddenly, Tatum stormed into the room, wailing, "Mina's not giving me a turn."
The old way "I'd say something like, 'There's no reason to cry over this,'" Carrie says. What would Tatum do? The opposite -- cry more and likely ruin the rest of the playdate.
The better way Parents need to listen too. "Everyone wants to know they've been heard and understood," Faber argues. Telling a child to stop crying sends the message that her feelings don't matter. Kids often cry (or whine, yell, or stomp) because they can't communicate why they're upset or don't know how to deal with the emotion. "You need to give them the words to express it," Faber says.
The result Next time, Carrie looked Tatum in the eye and described what she thought her daughter was feeling: "You seem really frustrated!" Tatum stared at her in surprise and then announced, "I am." Carrie held her tongue to keep from giving advice ("You need to..."), defending her friend ("Mina deserves a turn too"), or getting philosophical ("That's life"). Instead, she said, "Oh." Tatum kept talking: "I wish I had two bottles of bubbles." Carrie asked, "How can we work this out so it's fair to you and Mina?" Tatum said by taking turns. Carrie suggested they use a kitchen timer, and Tatum explained the plan to Mina. Everyone wound up happy. "It's hard to stop yourself from saying too much," says Carrie. She's right. Phrases like, "You never listen to me" and "How many times do I have to tell you?" become ingrained in our brain. During the workshop, my friends and I realize that it's going to take a bit of practice to stop uttering these expressions. But that's the entire point: to change the way we talk to our kids, so they not only understand what we're trying to say but actually want to listen.
Monday, March 11, 2013
I Do Not Like To "Spring Back"
Friday, March 8, 2013
Sleeping Baby
Sophi helps me start each day with a smile. Most every morning I see she's once again at the foot of our bed with her little rump up in the air and it just makes my heart happy.
I just love to see her, it's just a picture of cuteness and innocence. She goes to bed normal enough, although she never wants a blanket.
During the really cold winter nights we experienced last month and in
January, I'd put her in a warm jacket before bed to keep her warm. Anyway, she seems to think our shag carpet is her bed. She kinda reminds me of a little puppy, but puppy's
don't stick their bottoms in the air like that, do they?
So I guess she's just sleeping like a cute little baby or kid then, which is fitting, cause that's what she is.
My hips started their pregnancy pain this week - you know, where the cartilage loosens up and so there's sharp pains when you try to stand up or walk after sitting in a hard chair too long or after sitting on the floor for any length of time, you know? Well, I began hating being pregnant again an dfeeling sorry for myself and dreading the fact that I've got 19 more weeks of discomfort and pain. Then Sophia came near to me and wanted to be help, I picked her up and kissed her little cheeks. I asked her "You're worth it, aren't you?" She just looked at me with her big brown eyes. Of course she didn't say anything, and she didn't have to cause I knew the answer already. This new baby doesn't quite seem real yet, it's is just a flutter in my stomach and a someone I don't know who will come to us in July... kinda abstract and surreal. But soon enough it magically turn into a miracle in my arms that I'd move hell and earth for. It's kinda an act of faith. Excited for that delivery day, and it's worth the suffering and discomforts. On Mitchell's Journey two days ago, he commented on the link between suffering and compassion, suffering and our capacity to love (I reposted it here). God makes no apology for our pains, but they are a vital part of our growth. I will try to remember that, and how I can use this time when my physical body is in discomfort and pain to grow in faith and learn. I'm lucky to know that it will be over in a few months, compared to kids with DMD who live in pain. It's all about perspective, I can be grateful and hope to not just endure it, but endure it well. Don't shrink. (Great talk there! - Elder Bednar's remarks start at 18:45, Sister Bednar's brief talk is great too)
My hips started their pregnancy pain this week - you know, where the cartilage loosens up and so there's sharp pains when you try to stand up or walk after sitting in a hard chair too long or after sitting on the floor for any length of time, you know? Well, I began hating being pregnant again an dfeeling sorry for myself and dreading the fact that I've got 19 more weeks of discomfort and pain. Then Sophia came near to me and wanted to be help, I picked her up and kissed her little cheeks. I asked her "You're worth it, aren't you?" She just looked at me with her big brown eyes. Of course she didn't say anything, and she didn't have to cause I knew the answer already. This new baby doesn't quite seem real yet, it's is just a flutter in my stomach and a someone I don't know who will come to us in July... kinda abstract and surreal. But soon enough it magically turn into a miracle in my arms that I'd move hell and earth for. It's kinda an act of faith. Excited for that delivery day, and it's worth the suffering and discomforts. On Mitchell's Journey two days ago, he commented on the link between suffering and compassion, suffering and our capacity to love (I reposted it here). God makes no apology for our pains, but they are a vital part of our growth. I will try to remember that, and how I can use this time when my physical body is in discomfort and pain to grow in faith and learn. I'm lucky to know that it will be over in a few months, compared to kids with DMD who live in pain. It's all about perspective, I can be grateful and hope to not just endure it, but endure it well. Don't shrink. (Great talk there! - Elder Bednar's remarks start at 18:45, Sister Bednar's brief talk is great too)
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
11 Step Program to Having Children Prep
(...Lesson 3 made me think of Corey and how he doesn't get a thing done when he comes home from work ~ I visualized him walking around the front room with a wet bag :) Below is Corey working with one hand while holding his wet bag named Abi in August 2008. All the other pictures are form 2008 too. As for myself, I identified most with lessons 4 and 10.)
by Amy Lawrence
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? In order to find out…
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this…all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
1. Go to the local grocery store.
2. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat.
3. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
4. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
1. Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon.
2. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
1. Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).
2. Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say ‘it’s all worth it!’ Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you’ll need when you become a parent!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Ethan's Life Sized Valentine's Box
Ethan had big plans for his Valentine's Box this year, since it's his last time before heading to Jr. High as a 6th grader next year. So, he told me his vision of what he wanted his box to be. He really wanted to win the best valentine's box prize. His idea sounded like a lot of work doing stuff I didn't know how to do. Hence, I passed the buck onto Corey. Ethan told Corey his plan. Corey made some suggestions. Corey took pictures of Ethan and then did whatever math to blow them up and fit them together into life like proportions on his computer.
The day before Valentine's Day arrived and I was trying (and failing) to not be a Grinch as I helped the kids make their cards. Then Ethan wanted help with his amazing Valentine Box. Luckily, Corey was Ethan's Valentine advocate and he sent their picture to the copy store and got it printed. Just black and white, cost $8 bucks. ...Cause they need 24 hours for color. (...and cause color would have cost over $100, not happening Eth). Ethan was disappointed but made do. We all convinced him it was still really cool and he had a good shot at winning.
These pics are after valentine's day, so the mouth kinda looks like the Joker now, after kids shoving their cards into Ethan's paper mouth.
Corey helped take him and his huge box to school the next day. And went to school to pick him and his box up. Ethan hadn't won, but he did get 2nd place. And he got enough "Wow" and "That's cool" comments from his classmates to make him feel like a success. Good job Ethan, and especially good job Corey. Many times he is the parent part of me knows I should be. Glad he's on my team and doing most of the hard work of making memories for these kids. Then I get the easy job of documenting them, so I still get some credit too. :)
Monday, March 4, 2013
Mitchell Dee Jones
"There's a little bit of heaven in your home when someone from your home is in heaven."
Mitchell's obituary, posted today on their facebook page ~
Mitchell Dee Jones April 29, 2002 - March 2, 2013
Mitchell Dee Jones died of acute heart failure at the tender age of 10 years old in his home at 1:30AM Saturday, March 2nd 2013. At age 3, Mitchell was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy – a catastrophic muscle wasting disease that is generally fatal by late teens/early twenties. Mitchell’s health took a turn for the worse in the Spring of 2012 when his family learned Muscular Dystrophy had prematurely destroyed his heart and threatened to shorten his life much sooner than expected. For the next 9 months his parents worked closely with his cardiologist to save their little boy and slow the progression. But the ravages of Muscular Dystrophy would not be curbed.
Mitchell will always be remembered for his quiet dignity, gentle love of others, sense of humor, luck with board games, his love of life, adventure and family. Even though his body was weak, his spirit was quiet and strong – and those that got to know him felt it.
At the time of his passing, Mitch still believed in Santa, thought girls were gross and thought his mother was the most beautiful, comforting person on earth. Mitchell had a unique bond with his father whom he loved so much. Our sweet son placed a high premium on his relationship with family and being home - something that has changed our lives forever.
Mitchell’s Journey as documented on Facebook has had a unique impact across the globe. His life and story has touched the hearts of tens of thousands of people of all ages, religions, and cultures. His legacy of innocence, love and faith will leave a ripple effect of softened hearts and inspiring faith in God that may never be truly understood in this life. It would seem that he is the personification of “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” (Alma 37:6)
A friend recommended this talk to me today, given by Elder David A. Bednar last night at a fireside, titled "That We Might 'Not...Shrink' (D&C 19:18)". Elder Bednar's remarks begin at 18:43. As I listened to it, I couldn't help but think of Mitchell's parents and how they have showed so much faith through this trial, wanting their sweet boy to stay, but trusting in God's will for them and for Mitchell. I hope to be as strong as them in whatever trials I may face in life.
Mitchell's obituary, posted today on their facebook page ~
Mitchell Dee Jones died of acute heart failure at the tender age of 10 years old in his home at 1:30AM Saturday, March 2nd 2013. At age 3, Mitchell was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy – a catastrophic muscle wasting disease that is generally fatal by late teens/early twenties. Mitchell’s health took a turn for the worse in the Spring of 2012 when his family learned Muscular Dystrophy had prematurely destroyed his heart and threatened to shorten his life much sooner than expected. For the next 9 months his parents worked closely with his cardiologist to save their little boy and slow the progression. But the ravages of Muscular Dystrophy would not be curbed.
Mitchell will always be remembered for his quiet dignity, gentle love of others, sense of humor, luck with board games, his love of life, adventure and family. Even though his body was weak, his spirit was quiet and strong – and those that got to know him felt it.
At the time of his passing, Mitch still believed in Santa, thought girls were gross and thought his mother was the most beautiful, comforting person on earth. Mitchell had a unique bond with his father whom he loved so much. Our sweet son placed a high premium on his relationship with family and being home - something that has changed our lives forever.
Mitchell’s Journey as documented on Facebook has had a unique impact across the globe. His life and story has touched the hearts of tens of thousands of people of all ages, religions, and cultures. His legacy of innocence, love and faith will leave a ripple effect of softened hearts and inspiring faith in God that may never be truly understood in this life. It would seem that he is the personification of “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” (Alma 37:6)
~
A friend recommended this talk to me today, given by Elder David A. Bednar last night at a fireside, titled "That We Might 'Not...Shrink' (D&C 19:18)". Elder Bednar's remarks begin at 18:43. As I listened to it, I couldn't help but think of Mitchell's parents and how they have showed so much faith through this trial, wanting their sweet boy to stay, but trusting in God's will for them and for Mitchell. I hope to be as strong as them in whatever trials I may face in life.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Saint Patrick's Day Wreath
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