Rear Children in Love

Tonight for date night I wanted to make a parenting plan of attack. I was feeling frustrated a few of the kids today and how they seem to try so hard to avoid practicing their music (Mostly LSN). And Abi and Lily were being catty with each other. Abi will make cutting remarks and Lily will over reacts, they are both part of the problem. AND I was short on patience because Owen and Daniel were bugging each other as usual and screaming about what the other is doing, Daniel particularly has a vicious yell. Owen's pretty good at exaggerating his physical pain too. Sigh. How are we feeling Peter?

What do we think of all of this? Peter's answer is his tongue sticking out saying "pft!" Time to listen to Sister Beck (I love this talk):

When women nurture as Christ nurtured, a power and peace can descend to guide when help is needed. For instance, mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children. Being in the right places allows us to receive guidance. It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the Spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks. Personal revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day to increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek those who need our help. Because personal revelation is a constantly renewable source of strength, it is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times.

I grabbed a stack of books to take on date night to make a plan of attack with Corey.

Three Steps to a 'strong Family - Eyre
Unlocking the Power of Fatherhood - Rogers
Love and Respect in The Family - Eggerichs
What's a Parent to Do? - Latham
Raising Up a Family to the Lord - Cook
The Power of Positive Parenting - Latham
Strengthening Our Families - Dollahite

On my way to pick up Corey for our date, I thought I'd start my prep by listening to Episode 196 - How to Discipline Your Kids (She references another podcast that I want to listen to - Episode 167 - Successful Parenting) Good stuff. The take away - my being a good parent will not be decided by what my kids do or how they turn out, that is out of my control. It will be decided by what I do, and I liked one of the definitions of success she put out: I just don't want to get angry or yell. Jody was teaching a class and asked the parents there: "What kind of parent do you want to be? How do you know if you are good?" Some of their answers were:
"If my kids are good citizens"
"If my kids are kind"
"If my kids know I love them"
"If my kids Love the Lord"
...etc -
She pointed out that all of those are out of their control as parents. We can't make our kids believe, do, or become anything. That is their choice. What is in our control as parents is what we do. One of the dad's in the class answered by saying "I just don't want to yell and get angry". That is in my control. I will focus on that. So we didn't get to any of the books during our date night (at Blue Lemon, I ordered the Mediterranean salad and I got a pineapple sugar cookie too) or even after we got home, but we had a good talk. I think I learned what I needed to know for this next line upon line: I can only control myself. I do not want to lead with frustration and irritation. I need to work on me and lead with love and righteousness as The Proclamation on the Family says:
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children... Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. 

I hope I can become better little by little. I also like something Jody in podcast #253 Anger Not Required:
  This one might be obvious to you, but it was not obvious to me for a long time when I first started having kids and that is that I can clean the house and I don’t have to be mad. Again, this might be obvious to some people, but for some reason I had this idea in my head that when you go to clean the house it’s because you’re fed up with the mess and you’re tired of everybody leaving their stuff around and you’re irritated that you’re always the one that has to do it.
  So, you’re kind of throwing things and you’re huffing, and puffing, and you’re storming about. Then I realized one day, wait a second, I don’t have to be mad about cleaning the house. I don’t have to be angry that kids are leaving their stuff out because that’s what kids do. I don’t have to become a martyr or a victim or do any of that. In fact, I like cleaning my house. I prefer to clean my house rather than try to get my kids to do chores.

That might be an approach I should try to mix in a little here. I do like cleaning. I am happy that the front room still looks so nice. I also moved one of the pink chairs into the music room and moved that corner cabinet thing into the front room. I like it.

We're almost one week into the carpets having been washed and they haven't been ruined again yet. I am being pretty militant with feet washing though, and everyone needs flip flops on their feet (except Peter). Ethan took this video of Peter on Wednesday - poor Cinder Peter.

There he is, slaving away mopping the floor, his clothing dangling off his shoulder, as Drizella and Anastasia (Natalie and me) pretend they are learning the arts in the other room, but it's really just music that is unbearable.