Less is More

My Dungeon (aka black hole sorting area for lots of toys) isn't done yet, but I did work on it all day. Shuffling and sorting... but I'm not going extreme on them, we do still have toys in our house. I'm pretty sure I'm actually giving them what they want and what they and I can handle. They don't need all the toys and heaps of stuff they've been living in. And obviously none of us have been able to handle this wild and free living. And I don't want it either. So I cleaned their rooms on Monday and took away most all of the toys, and GUESS WHAT?!?! .... BOTH the boys' and girls' rooms are still sparkling clean. AND I haven't asked them to clean them up even once. Wow, are you kids happy? Cause I sure am happy!

(Corey sent me these pictures from his phone, what cute little faces...)

The kids have been playing with toys, but it's been downstairs in the new toy "room" area which I just cleared and created in our unfinished basement where the Kid's town dump used to be. If they've earned toys for the day, they can check them out and play and return them to me and then check out another toy, but no more toys everywhere and anywhere who knows where who cares. 

The "landfill" mess has now been shoved over and I'll continue to clear that tomorrow and probably the whole two weeks that Corey is gone. It's like big tornado disaster mess that got hit by a tornado and then by a hurricane and just mess after mess... It's seriously been messed up over and over again since our Christmas Eve flood. (ok, this has been almost 5 months! All of this junk obviously can't be so special or important to me if I haven't needed it for FIVE MONTHS...) 

But now, ahhh, the newly designated toy area is a clear play area that will stay clear and free of toys except the toys that are in use. And the toys that are in use are toys that have been earned. So they get to play with toys, but toys will be an earned reward, not just a "these are my toys and this how we live" pile of mess and clutter and CHAOS living anymore. I am going to have this figured out, and it is going to work.

So I'm going to try to articulate the epiphany I've had over the past 3 days... On Monday, I took all the toys and princess costumes away while the girls were outside playing. When they came back in, Abi could tell what had happened. Her eyes and brain were able to discern the difference between the mess it used to be and the clean order it had now been turned into. She's also old enough that she knew it was going to happen. In fact, she chose to let it happen cause she and I both know she ignored me and refused to clean up. I also recognize that it was a tough request since Lily and Sophi were mostly responsible for the better part of that messy room.

Now Lily and Sophia, and this was interesting to me, they walked into their room when it was clean and really didn't seem to notice anything wrong or different from the heap before to the clean slate after. And that is when a light bulb went on in my head, that that is how they see the world. That is how they see the mess - nothing wrong with it. When I see that same room, I'm getting mad and irritated and frustrated and wondering why why why the mess! Don't you get it? CLEAN and TIDY! A place for everything and everything in place! Cause that's what a woman wants, and there are organized toy closets all over pinterest to prove that THAT is what the mom's ultimate goal usually is - Clean, organized, and (sigh) calm. And so there is the answer. The toddlers and kids don't know or want that and they don't care. Toys or no toys, they don't care. Older kids, they get to chose to care or not, and they seem to always chose the path of least resistance, which is to not care! I'm the only one that CARES!!! So WHY have I been the only one going crazy?!?! It is because I'm the only one that it bothers. Because I'm the only one that cares. And, since I'm the one that calls the shots around here anyway, THIS MESSY HOUSE really has been my own fault. Does that make sense? NOW with all the toys gone, the kids are just as happy as before (because they don't care!) and we have the wonderful added bonus which is that I have regained my sanity.

And now I'm not a nagging mother! I haven't had to nag anyone for two whole days! And with most of the toys gone, I can have a relationship with them that goes beyond cleaning. Wow, what am I going to say if I don't have to always say those things? I might turn into a whole different and wonderful non-nagging person! Hey you little people, that sounds good right? Aren't you excited? Cause I'm excited. :)