Heaven Is Here

I'm not a Twi-mom, but I did read the first book. And I saw the first movie. Even with that limited exposure to Twilight, like most people I am well aware of Edward's reputation for being the most perfect man ever.

Well, I just finished reading Stephanie Nielson's book and let me just say, Edward doesn't hold a candle to Mr. Nielson.


You want a perfect gentleman, husband, father, just an amazing salt of the earth guy who knows what life is about and lives his life as evidence that he knows it, read this book. He is inspiring. Page 276-77 made me cry ~ Stephanie is amazing, and Christian is right there with her, a match made in heaven. (I also know all about matches made in heaven cause I'm blessed to be in one myself~) They are amazing.

"We're doing great, you're doing great. We're going to be OK. ~ We have each other. We were both hurt in this accident, you know what I've been through and I know what you've been through. We can do this as long as we are one. Christian, if you're next to me, I can do anything."

Yup, Bella and Edward's romance doesn't have anything on this TRUE LOVE STORY - with emphasis on that word true. It is a true story!!! These are real people and this really happened! I just have such a hard time caring about fiction books or make believe sitcoms when there are so many amazing TRUE STORIES out there to lift and inspire us, and it's real.

So, I stayed up late Tuesday night and have avoided the majority of my homemaker duties the past two days and just finished reading "Heaven Is Here" and let me just say ~ wow. I have several competing thoughts, I shall now attempt to communicate one of them.

One thought I have that I've had to fight out of my heart as I read this is some envy. Maybe it's not envy, more likely I'm just a little frustrated with myself. (btw, here's an amazing talk about jealousy from General Conference - read, watch, or listen to it HERE - Yes, Stephanie is another amazing person, go down another quart of pickle juice!) So, I've got a natural man tendency that needs to be put down cause I'm a little jealous that Stephanie just seems to know how to do it ("it" meaning being a mother and homemaker), and I don't. Even AC (after crash) she's probably doing it better than me, and I don't have all the challenges she does.

I know how to be a wife pretty well, and I can be a mother to babies - babies are easy, just kiss 'em and change their diapers, and they come with their own food supply - piece of cake. (I'm so happy Stephanie and Christian just had another baby) But besides that, or attempting to do that with all the other 7 kids and a house of messes on top of it, sometimes I just don't know how to do it.

I maybe do it one day now and then, but I usually feel like I just can't find my rhythm and don't have a "motherhood 101" book to help me know the steps and keep on target, I feel like I just ad-hock it all the time. I need and want to love cooking for my family. I guess I do it cause everyone here is fed and alive, but I wish I could thrive at it. I do love art and decorating, I want to know how to make/find the time for it, wish I had about a thousand bucks in the bank to just go and buy everything and anything I want. Patience, you can have it all, you just have to have it one at a time.

So the other thought that comes along when that frustration/envy rears it's head is that I am doing okay and I'm figuring it out, and Heavenly Father will keep helping me. Sure, I don't have a lot of beautiful cake platters and I still don't seem to know for sure what traditions our family has, I don't have an organized laundry room and my desk is a wreck, I could go on... but then I remember that I might be comparing my rotten apples to Stephanie's freshly squeezed orange juice, right? Also, my story is different from hers. Your story is different from mine. We all have different stories, different plans of things that we want to do, and different things that God needs us to do, we all have different gifts, desires, talents, sympathies, etc. We've got to stay focused on what we have, not what we lack. If we focus on what we lack, we'll probably keep lacking and drawing negative energy to us, but if we are grateful we draw blessings and abundance to us. Little bit of philosophies of men there, but I think there is some truth in that Secret stuff.

We still have not bought a home in our 13+ years of marriage... "and that's... okay!" (cue Stewart Smalley or Khalil from Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie - watch 1:11-1:21 "I am a caterpillar! Well, that's only half true. My mother was a caterpillar, my father was a worm. But I'm okay with that now.") lol :)

Yes, I'm okay now with being a renter, it's actually worked out great for us, unless I let myself think that for some reason it's just not right to rent and then I attract negativity to myself and our home. If we had just bought a place and settled down, I would have had a chance to accumulate lots of cute homely things and I wouldn't have had to start over again so many times. But no, I've got to get my story straight. We haven't bought a home, and I've had to pack up our life several times and start over, but how lucky we have been to live in Virginia, Brazil, Costa Rica, and Chile!

I sold and gave away lots of stuff that I didn't want to, but it's what we needed to do, that's how we've moved forward in the story of our family. Graduate school with 5 kids living in a 700 square foot apartment is part of our story. Going to Brazil for 4 months. Our story also included living in a huge 4000+ square foot rambler where, ironically, I feel like I was the most upset and unhappy and ungrateful as I'd ever been. Then we went to Costa Rica and Chile for 9 months so I could try to learn again what I should have learned in Brazil. ( I'm hoping I got it down this time!)

We all have our own stories and things we need to learn, people that we need to meet and let bless us, people that we can influence and bless. It's exciting to think of what is ahead and what is in store. We're all in this together, so be kind, do good, love one another ~Life is Beautiful.