Friday, July 19, 2013

Book Recommendations

So, here's what I'm doing right now ~ my major focus is on eating veggies and getting in a quick workout each day as the other kids get their time to love the baby.  I'm always super eager to get back in shape.  I feel like I've totally returned to normal, aside from the wardrobe not fitting.  Patience self, although it doesn't help that Abi keeps asking "Why do you still have a big tummy if the baby is out?"  My reply "Well, it took a while to get my tummy big, and it takes a while to get it small".  Then I go nurse and will Natlie to suck it all off of me.  When I'm nursing her, I've got lots of books on the bed to read.  I would like to recommend some of them to you.
You don't have to read this first one, but I did want to share what was my major take away after reading the book "Babywise" after Sophia was born in 2011.  I was not successful at all in getting her to sleep through the night, well, take that back ~ I did good for the first few weeks after she was born but then it all went downhill when Corey took a trip and I wanted a warm teddy bear/doll to keep me company at night time. Anyway ~
When I started it, I was ready for advice about how to get a full nights sleep for me and baby.  So I was surprised to find the advice in Chapter 1 was about the husband/wife relationship.  That was biggest take away and the thing I've applied most ~ "Your Baby Needs a Family".  While saying the book was primarly about nurturing a newborn baby, it side stepped and said the first and most important part of your baby's life is the family and to make sure the family stays strong, and strong families come from strong marriages.  Page 20 ~ "If you really love your child, you will give him the gift of love, security, and a sense of belonging  give him the assurance that as a husband and wife, you really love each other.  The husband-wife union is not just a good first step toward child-rearing, It is a necessary one" and then the chapter continued "Too often, parents lose sight of this fact, getting lost in a parenting wonderland of photos, footsteps, and first words.  Baby becomes central to their existence.  Yet the greatest overall influence you will have on your children will not come in your role as an individual parent, but in your joint role as husband and wife."  I loved that emphasis and that it made me make sure now during the baby phase and as the children grow and the family becomes so busy, that Corey always knows he is my #1 priority.  Which leads to this great book that I highly recommend:
Recommend #1- if you have not read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" you totally should.  I loved it.  That one was recommended to me by a friend in 2005 when Corey was in business school and Wes was our new baby.  I remember it was a great eye opening book.  I have the companion book (recommend #2) "Woman Power" and recently that was returned to me by a friend so I was browsing through it today - more of the same great stuff!
I remember in '05 Corey was a little amazed at how attentive I was after reading it.  He said I was already a great wife, and now I was just showing off.  :)  But really that book just made me see how men see relationships, and I'd ask Corey if it was true for him, and it made me want to make sure his needs were met. Men really are simple and just want some attention, affection, and appreciation from their wives.  And we women have the "Power" to give that to them and thus make them happy, which can make our marriages happy, and then our lives will be happy!  Those sound like good things to everyone, right?!?  Yes, so get these books and read them and do them.  Even if you've already got a great marriage and relationship, it will just give stories and advice to make it even more so.  It's funny though, when I first got "Proper Care" it was because I was searching for a little help and tips to meet Corey's request for our family having regular sit down dinners.  I first got it thinking it was a recipe book or something about how to get dinner on the table - "Feeding of husbands".  Funny.
Lastly, book recommend #3 - Another friend recently recommended The Power of Positive Parenting by Dr. Glenn Latham to me and after I got it from the library two weeks ago and copied the better part of the introduction down in my notes, I figured I better just buy it.  (Love buying used books inexpensively on amazon) ~ so I've just started reading that and it's kinda like Dr. Laura's book, but toward your children instead of your marriage - all about being nice and kind (again, the result being HAPPY Kids and a happy mom, hello!) and showing studies and research that prove that frustrated yelling and a swat on the behind are not effective in reaching our ultimate goal of achieving a happy family life and raising happy children.  Our intentions and desires to have happy kids are good, this book teaches the skills to get there, good stuff.

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