Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Acceptance Speech

Thank you...Thank you so much...
1. I'd like to thank Owen waking me up at midnight this morning AND for being fussy after he ate AND loud after he played with toys in the closet, so much so that I took him downstairs at 1 a.m. (where I've begun to let him finish out his bedtime sleep lately) allowing my cute fuzzy socks to catch the cold water covering the floor.
2. I'd like to thank my amazing self for walking around the left side of the couch, enabling me to notice the wet overflow in the dark room
3. I'd like to thank my amazing motherly feet for still being able to function when they know they are standing in toilet water, a feat that would totally paralyze all my children (except probably Mel)
4. I'd like to thank my amazing motherly ears for being able to deal with Owen wailing as I left him unattended as I cleaned it up the mess.
5. I'd like to thank all my children for many the clogged toilets over the years, giving me the opportunity to practice my plunging skills.
6. I'd like to thank my floor towels for all the hard work they always do around here (floor spills, mopping, throw up duty...)
7. I'd like to thank the United States of America for great toilets and indoor plumbing, blessing me that I really don't have to plunge that often (as compared to our plumbing in Brazil, although I'd like to encourage American home builders to be smart and start putting floor drains in bathrooms like they do in Brazil, shouldn't drains in bathrooms be obvious?)
8. I'd like to thank the heavy duty plunger for always working so quickly AND for having a big open plunger and hollow handle that it's able to scoop out toilet water like a ladle, helping ease the spillage of water onto the floor once the plunging began
9. I'd like to thank the unfinished basement for allowing me a quick clean up and the peace of mind to not worry about ruining the carpet or ceiling down there as the water overflowed and spilled down the floor cracks
10. I'd like to thank Corey who will be staying home from work for a few hours tomorrow morning to watch the girls while I recover from lack of sleep.
AND last of all
I'd like to punch the throat of whoever left this toilet plugged before they went to bed last night (and I'm glad we stayed up until 11 and this was only 2 hours of overflow...) - This is the second time I've had to deal with this night time spillage. NOTE TO CHILDREN: IF THE TOILET ON THE MAIN FLOOR IS CLOGGED, IT WILL SPILL OVER BECAUSE I HAVEN'T CALLED THE REPAIR MAN TO FIX THE FILL VALVE YET. (Note to self: call the repair man). EASE UP ON THE TP!!! The dear children are going to be getting a brief fyi lecture in the morning. I can't tell whose handwriting that is on that note there, but they're gonna get the lecture first. And yes, child, I realize that it might have been someone else who clogged it and you were just the one who discovered it and wrote this note. NO MORE NOTES. COME AND WAKE ME UP. Clogged main floor toilet = emergency. You have my blessing to knock on my bedroom door until I answer. I might seem irritated at first but will bless your name afterwards.

Ok, now that I've vented I might have calmed down enough that I might be able to fall back asleep.

(This post inspired by the facebook post from Jan 9th by Ethan's Tour group chaperone, she is really funny.)
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