Tummy Ache Karma

Well, I am just super excited this morning because I've been up for over an hour and haven't felt like passing out or throwing up even once!  AND I didn't have any emergency night time runs to the bathroom with Montezuma's revenge.  That, my friends, is good news.  I have had a nasty bug for the past few weeks, which said bug, I've now learned, was given to me by my 5 year old Abi who had this bug last month.  I didn't put it together until this week that I have what she had, and will explain the "karma" in a moment.

In 5 year old terms, the discomforts caused by this bug involve "my tummy hurts" - which is what she complained to me for 3 weeks as she'd follow me around the house.  She'd complain for a while, then she'd be playing and seem fine, then she'd complain, every other day she looked pale and was quite lethargic and she'd pour herself a bowl of cereal, eat a bite, then walk away.  She was always asking for food but not able to eat anything and she lost a few pounds, which is a big deal cause when you only way 50 lbs, there's not much to lose.  After a trip to the pediatrician for a physical exam, blood test, and x-ray, the diagnosis was: dunno.  Although she did faint from having her blood drawn, which was big news she was able to brag about when she got home.  The Dr. suggested I just watch her, log her bowel movements for frequency, color, consistency and call her in a week.

There she is sick and taking a nap last month on 11/12.  Her diarrhea went away and she started eating again, so it looked like her body had finally overcome whatever it was, although she still says "my tummy hurts" now and then.

So, when it was my turn, I learned the discomforts of this bug in adult terms: constantly nausea, Montezuma's revenge, not wanting to eat anything (I was able to tolerate chewing and swallowing clementines and cheese sticks, then I'd throw them up...) not wanting to have lights on, music on, just let me lay down on the floor in the corner of the room and please no one talk to me or touch me or ask me to do anything that requires me to move.  Yeah, good luck with that.  Poor Corey was working all day then coming home to hungry kids with no dinner made and a messy house and useless wife, and doing all the grocery shopping.  All I could do was voice from the corner "Sorry to abandon you..."

Two days ago, as I suffered on the floor and wondered when/if it would ever end, Abi came in to ask me to wrap a lego present she had assembled for one of her siblings. 

"I can't, I'm sick."

(Thoughtfully) "One time when I was sick, you said 'I don't care'..." 

(Awkward/guilty pause) "I did?"

"Yeah." 

(Continued guilty pause and remorse of conscience) "I'm sorry Abi." 

"That's okay."

(Trying to redeem myself) "But I did take you to the doctor!  So, see! I cared! Right?" 

I don't remember saying "I don't care" to her, but can see myself saying it had there been a moment of worn out frustration with life/house/kids on my part, which I'm sure there was.  "I have a hundred other things to do and I don't know what's wrong with your tummy!  I can't help, just go lay down~" "but my tummy hurts" "I don't care..." 

That was bad, Tiff.  Karma.  You deserve this illness to teach you to be a more sensitive mother, to teach me a lesson so I can be more compassionate when these little ones are suffering and don't know what to do to help themselves, just like I don't know what to do help myself.  Come on, the least I can do is care, sheesh!

Gotta watch what I say and watch my actions, making a goal today to be better behaved, since I'm hoping I will be able to stay on my feet for several hours if not the whole day? (fingers crossed)  Hopefully I've repented enough and learned my lesson.