Corey and the kids and our 3 Chilean friends headed down south yesterday for a few days of fun in the sun. They left after church to go to St. George, where they spent last night, and then today they are going the last little bit to arrive in Las Vegas. They will be there for two night and are coming home on Wednesday.
On Saturday I felt a bit exhausted. The "this is insane" point hit me when I went to get a fork for a kids to eat with and once again saw that EVERY spoon and fork and knife were gone from the silverware drawer! I had a clean load of dishes that needed to be put away, as well as a completely full sink of dishes waiting for their turn in the dishwasher and I was just like "I just can't keep up!! It NEVER STOPS!!" So my already frazzled mood was topped off by not being able to leave the house for the Women's Broadcast. At 6:00, I gave myself permission to be excused and I went into my room where I gave kids a bath and had other interruptions as I tried to watch the broadcast on byutv. The first talk shared was about how we need to "Trust in the Lord, and Lean not..." She continued: "In English the word lean has a connotation of physically listing or moving to one side. When we physically lean toward one side or another, we move off center, we are out of balance, and we tip. When we spiritually lean to our own understanding, we lean away from our Savior. If we lean, we are not centered; we are not balanced; we are not focused on Christ."
I thought how I definitely am feeling off balance. I'm gonna topple over from being so dizzy. I need to slow down and take a breather. I've been running on all cylinders since Corey's February trip to Brazil at the beginning of February, followed by him being on business for two more weeks in Seattle followed up with several weeks with our house guests that are still here, on top of the whole 11 kids we have with all that they require and such... Just trying to keep this family afloat.... But I was not looking forward to a "break" by going on a trip. Maybe I could stay home? Oooh, that sounds nice. Yes, I did experience some relief when I thought of staying home and not going with them. Would that be okay? Corey would have all the older kids to help, plus Angela and her girls. If I ever did want to take a break, this is my chance. Corey was in his office working when I went in and asked if I could toy with the idea of staying home. "Of course" was his reply. I still felt a bit guilty, mostly for feeling like I was abandoning him. I called several friends to ask their thoughts and to help me be brave enough to let them go or tough enough to accompany them. But none of my 911 girls were answering their phones! I finally got through to Rachael, who thought I was very wise to recognize my limits and gave me permission to listen to and follow those feelings. Sigh, that feels good! Then I called Susan, who shared some thoughts and said they'd be fine, stay home and take a break! Then I finally talked to my twin sister (haha) Nicole yesterday morning (yes, it was Sunday morning and I hadn't packed but I was still not fully committed one way or the other...) and she said that if Corey was honest in saying he wanted me to do whatever would fill my cup, then I should stay home.
So, Sunday morning... we went to church (and I dressed Daniel in a new little onesie Sunday shirt I got! Isn't he so cute!!??) No Sunday shoes yet, so he's not totally ready for work yet.
Of course he can't be totally respectable in his slacks and tie when he's got a pacifier clipped to his collar anyway!
So here I am, in a quiet and fairly clean house. Some of the things that are awesome: I haven't taken the garbage out at all today! I did the dishes today and will not do them again until everyone comes back! And I haven't had to pick up any shoes or coats or socks on the floor! I shampooed the carpets with the Kirby vacuum, and it looks nice. I didn't have to put out towels on the wet carpet cause no little feet are running around on it.
One drawback is that the house is so quiet that Daniel is a bit concerned and has become a bit high maintenance... if he is awake and I'm not giving him my full attention (or vacuuming) he's quite upset. Thus he's looked like this for a good part of the day.