Tuesday, July 11, 2017

4 AM and Content

I was up very early this morning, again. Yesterday it was Daniel... today it was Owen (really hoping this doesn't become a regular thing for the two of them...) So, at 4 a.m. it took me a minute to wake up, and then I realized Owen was calling for me. I walked over. The shadows on the bed made me think he'd made a mess in his bed again. I felt around, it was all dry, yay, I don't need to wash the sheets today (or yet!) so I picked him up. "Wa" he said. I got him a drink of water, thinking that after this I could find his binky and put him back to bed. But then he said "Foo" (food). Since he'd thrown up one of his meals yesterday and quickly passed through the rest of his food (3 bad diarrhea diapers), I knew he was thirsty and hungry. So downstairs we went. I turned on the small light by the sink, to give the overall impression that it was not morning time or time to wake up - it's still bedtime! He sweetly and slowly ate a piece of bread. What to do. I guess I should unload these dishes. So I kept looking over at his sweetness as he munched his bread, and I unloaded cups by color, then ikea bowls by color. I get crazy looks sometimes from the kids, except Mel, who is the one who started this OCD-like dishes thing. And I admit it's stupid, but.... if you have to pick the cups out of the dishwasher one at a time anyway, it's just as easy to take out the colors in an organized way as it is to do it willy-nilly (definition: without direction or planning; haphazardly.) So that is why I put the dishes in the cupboard like this. Just trying to pretend I can create and keep some order around here.
I took this picture after putting Owen back to bed. I wish I had gotten a picture of him. He looked so sweet. I thought he'd be done with his bread when I was done unloading, but he was barely half way. Ok, he's a slow eater. I guess I'll load too. So in the dishes go, one by one. We need a new dishwasher. This one has been missing prongs on the bottom rack since we moved into this home. And the top water spinner thing is broken, so, as I've experimented, I've discovered that the things on the top rack won't get cleaned unless it's all loaded a certain way. I pride myself on being the one that knows where things go to ensure cleanliness. There are times when the kids or my sweetheart will load it up, and we'll have to put a lot of the bowls right back into the dirty dishes pile after a wash cycle cause they're still dirty. So, I loaded the dishwasher and a moment of joy - they all fit except for one plate, and I washed that off. The dishwasher is humming, I wash a cookie sheet and a big bowl. Then I soft-scrub out the sink. Owen still seated and quietly eating, almost finished. And I just had a simple feeling of contentment. I thought of the Mary Edmunds book and when I learned about being content in Brazil in 2007. Life is great. I'm a mother and I love it! There are hard days but there are many delightful moments that give me such joy, it makes the messes and monotony so worth it. I kinda feel like a little girl playing house, but it's not just pretend, it's real and it's fun! I am doing what I want to do. I hope I can learn to be more grateful more often. It is the key to JOY and happiness!

(Unlike last night when I was almost cursing the kids as I washed cherry juice out of the carpet on the stairs - some kid stepped on a two cherries and then ran up the stairs and left footprints of red on the carpet...) Ugh, I hope I can learn to be calm and grateful in those circumstances too. After my murmuring, I was grateful to discover that each spot seemed to wash out rather quickly, guess I didn't need to complain so much. I love my US Advantage! - it even gets out permanent marker. 5 years later and I am glad that I can look back at that and laugh. Be happy, be grateful... Life goal: be Full of THANKS

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