Monday, May 15, 2017

Time Will Tell

I feel like we had a turning point tonight. It's just past midnight (but I'm changing the date so it's just before midnight and this post is still on the 15th...) We stayed up late having a great and sober and humble talk with the kids. Well, with Jospeh, Melodie, Ethan and Hyrum. Wes had collapsed of exhaustion a few hours before, Abi and Lily were in bed, Sophi and Natalie fell asleep on the floor next to Corey as he rubbed their backs, and Daniel and Owen were asleep. So, we shared with them a bit of the reality of the situation and our feelings about the business. Corey and I both shed a few tears, as he said that it feels like it might be at the end of the road but also he don't know what else he could have done and feels satisfied that he did everything he could. Corey had one last card that he put on the table today, so we'll see how that goes, but that really is his last card. He's done all he is able to do now. So it will be over soon or this last card will keep it alive to see another day. We'll see what they can do with it, time will tell.

So it was a great talk, I wish I had my phone so I could have recorded it. I think I will put some of the thoughts in my personal journal. One thing I will share here - we listened to a youtube video recently of a married couple and some of their faith crisis with the LDS faith, and Corey said "It seems that people's basic complaint with God and with the church is their un-realized and un-met expectations. They thought such and such would happen and it didn't, so they feel hurt/mad and leave. And I feel like I've been promised some things, and I wouldn't have done all of this if it weren't for those promises or expectations I had, but now it looks like they're not going to happen..." then after a pause and tears... "...but I'm not going to get mad..."

So as we headed to bed and I looked at my calendar, I thought came to me "May 15... I think that was the date of our first date?" I had moved all my journals and scrapbooks from our bedroom into the basement are (I'm always having to go down there to look up stuff! Maybe I'll move those back up here....) so I looked in my journal, didn't have the date there... then looked in my high school scrapbook.  I found the old dance picture from our first date and, well what do you know... Look at that!

Junior Prom 1992
"Forever Young"
May 15, 1992
Skyline High School

And a little bit of math helped me learn that it was exactly 25 years ago tonight! 25 years ago I was dropping him off after our first date. My sister drove us all in the family station wagon! It could be said this photo was the night that marked the beginning of a great life together. But at the time it was just a date. Just a dance, but time would tell the story of how it was really the beginning of something great and wonderful. I would not have believed it if someone told me that night "You and Corey will get married! And not only that! Get this... in 25 years, you two will still be in love and will have a great life and eleven children!" My brain would have exploded. Maybe that's why God can't let us see too far ahead, we maybe wouldn't be able to handle all the good news! It gave me a little bit of hope that maybe, for the business, tonight will turn into a moment of time that didn't seem to have any promise of leading to anything in the future, but we'll look back and see that it was. However it ends, we both have faith that it will work out for the best!

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